A Song of Ice and Fire
Valar Automatis (All Men Must Automate)
Owner: britni
6-4, 81.5 roto pts (#4)
Z-Score:
0.506 (percentile: 69.34%)
Weeks at #1: 1
Categories won:
Glasses of Wine Consumed (55), Special (114)
Best Week:
Episode 5: The Door
(+14.5 roto points)
Team MVP:
Hodor
(picked #29,
127 points,
41.5% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 17 |
Tyrion Lannister
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
|
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender) |
| 130 |
White Walker (Night King)
The leader of the White Walkers.
|
* Actions of dragons while dragonriding * Wights or White Walker versions of named chars are counted as followers (unless shown to be re-animated by someone else) * Scenes of Winter arriving anywhere south of the Riverlands (inclusive) * works of White Walker art |
| 10 |
Hodor
Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor hodor Hodor. hodor.
|
+1 point for every utterance of "Hodor" |
| 72 |
Qyburn
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities, and now serves as Master of Whispers in King's Landing.
|
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments * +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds" |
| 13 |
Meera Reed
The eldest child of Howland Reed, bannerman to the Starks. She and Bran have arrived at the cave of the Three-eyed Raven.
|
+1 every time she transports Bran |
| 195 |
Septa Unella
A Septa and member of the Most Devout, the council that rules the Faith of the Seven. She rings the shame! shame! shame! bell.
|
+1 point for each bell ringing (S6 onwards) |
| 243 |
Braavosi Margaery Actress
An actress who plays Margaery Tyrell in a Braavosi play about the political events of Westeros.
|
|
| 241 |
Braavosi Ned Stark Actor
He portrays Eddard Stark in a Braavosi play depicting the political events of Westeros. (played by Kevin Eldon)
|
Gains the special of the character they play: 2x points for mentioning that "Winter is coming", +1 point for brandishing Ice (Eddard Stark) |
Kills
49:20
(+2)
Meera Reed:
Meera cuts down the first wight to fall into the cave through the weirwood root system.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
50:33
(+2)
Meera Reed:
Meera cuts down a wight as it charges through the cavern tunnels shortly after Bran wargs into Hodor.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
50:53
(+10)
Meera Reed:
Meera throws a dragonglass spear at the bearded White Walker, piercing it in the neck and shattering it.
(Kill of Named Character)
51:57
(+10)
White Walker (Night King):
The White Walker King cuts down the Three-Eyed Raven after gaining access to his cavern via Bran's unsupervised vision.
(Kill of Named Character)
Hodor shuts the door on the horde of wights, severing the hand of one who just managed to slip its arm past the door.
(Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
After luring Pycelle to his laboratory, Qyburn's Little Birds converge and stab the Grand Maester to death. "This pains me, my lord. Whatever your faults, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place. But sometimes before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Qyburn gains the loyalty of Varys' old spy network of little birds. They turn out to be beggar children from the streets of King's Landing, one of whom is named Arthur..
Qyburn: "Your eye looks much better, Arthur. How's your mother's jaw?"
Arthur: "Better."
Qyburn: "And your father?"
Arthur: "No one's seen him."
Qyburn: "And no one will. That worked out rather nicely." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Qyburn: "Your eye looks much better, Arthur. How's your mother's jaw?"
Arthur: "Better."
Qyburn: "And your father?"
Arthur: "No one's seen him."
Qyburn: "And no one will. That worked out rather nicely." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
Qyburn tracks down and recruits Varys' "little birds" of King's Landing.
(Secret Discovery)
15:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:08
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
The White Walker King discovers the location of Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven after Bran's unsupervised usage of the Weirwood Palantir.
(Secret Discovery)
The White Walkers defeat the magical defenses of the Children of the Forest, slaughtering Leaf and her companions and killing the Three-Eyed Raven with their horde of wights.
(Victorious Battle)
3:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
Qyburn lures Grand Maester Pycelle to his laboratory on false pretenses, and then sends his little birds to stab him to death. "This pains me, my lord. Whatever your faults, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place. But sometimes before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Qyburn's "More. Much more." report to Cersei in S6E8 is revealed to be his discovery of the barrels of wildfire buried beneath King's Landing, as Lancel Lannister discovers a cache set to trigger an explosion during the Trial by Seven at the Sept of Baelor.
(Secret Discovery)
47:04
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
23:57
(+3)
Septa Unella:
Margery: "I am the Queen and I demand to see my brother."
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions" (Comeback)
Unella: "Sinners do not make demands. They make confessions" (Comeback)
submitted by smarlow13 (approved!)
29:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
22:03
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
22:46
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
reasoning with Varys as he disapproves of Tyrion's alcoholism: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
(Funny Line)
22:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
26:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help."
(Funny Line)
28:30
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face."
(Funny Line)
26:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
27:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking."
(Funny Line)
16:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
(Funny Line)
30:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that."
(Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
31:47
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*"
(Funny Line)
9:57
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
26:24
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "I have tried wine before. It made me feel funny."
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)
9:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "Our Queen insists that one of you must die as punishment for your crimes."
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
26:44
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
27:09
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
23:19
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:46
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:06
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:08
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
13:28
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:13
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
drinks backstage as Izembaro angrily rants about others criticism of his playwriting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:23
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
18:15
(+5)
Septa Unella:
Septa Unella has a cup of wine poured over her face as she is being tortured by Cersei Lannister.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
18:32
(+5)
Septa Unella:
Following up on the cup, Septa Unella has an entire pitcher of wine poured over her face as she is being tortured by Cersei Lannister.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
Special
29:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion gives a coin to the Meereenese homeless woman and her baby to feed themselves.
(Special)