Rerb Stork
Game of Hodor
Owner: ryanceresani
30.5 roto pts (#4)
Z-Score:
-0.294 (percentile: 38.45%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (78)
Best Week:
Episode 7: The Broken Man
(+4.5 roto points)
Team MVP:
Jaime Lannister
(picked #4,
91 points,
30.43% of team total)
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
19 |
Jaime Lannister
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and recently returns from a mission to Dorne to rescue his daughter/niece, Myrcella Baratheon.
|
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand * +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation * +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
6 |
Arya Stark
The youngest of the Stark girls. Free-spirited and rebellious, Arya escaped the war-ravaged Westeros and currently resides in Braavos, where she trains under the face-changing assassin Jaqen H'ghar in the House of Black and White.
|
* Nymeria's actions contribute to her points. * +1 point for reciting her hitlist * adopting a new Faceless Man disguise |
61 |
Theon Greyjoy
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.
|
+1 point for scenes where Theon refers to himself as "Reek" +1 point when his missing manhood is referenced |
36 |
Daario Naharis
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover.
|
+1 point each time he flirts with Daenerys. |
43 |
Alliser Thorne
A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.
|
+1 point every time he address Jon Snow as "Lord Snow". |
230 |
Smalljon Umber
The son of Greatjon Umber, heir to House Umber and bannerman to the Starks.
|
[Possible special to be determined after character appears] |
23 |
Bronn
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.
|
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy |
25 |
Kevan Lannister
The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.
|
Kills
17:13
(+2)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon stabs a Bolton soldier through the back while he is battling Podrick Payne.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
46:00
(+10)
Smalljon Umber:
Smalljon Umber brings Ramsay the severed head of Rickon Stark's direwolf, Shaggydog, to prove his prisoner's identity.
(Kill of Named Character)
24:24
(+2)
Daario Naharis :
Daario catches up with the Dothraki guard before he can sound the alarm, strangling him and finally breaking his neck.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
24:40
(+10)
Daario Naharis :
Daario stabs Ahko through the back with his knife, saving Jorah's life. "Told you, I'm very attached to this knife."
(Kill of Named Character)
2:50
(+10)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime slays the Mad King Aerys II during one of Bran's flashback visions.
(Kill of Named Character)
21:39
(+2)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime clobbers Black Walder with his golden hand, leaving him with a severe bruise to the cheek.
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Minor Injury of Named Character)
submitted by bookworm13457 (approved!)
21:45
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime acquires Edmure Tully as his prisoner after taking over the Siege of Riverrun.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
55:51
(+10)
Arya Stark:
Arya leads the Waif to her darkened quarters, where she extinguishes the lone candle with her sword Needle and gains the upper hand in complete darkness.
(Kill of Named Character)
7:56
(+2)
Daario Naharis :
Daario lops the head off of a Son of the Harpy, as he leads a horde of Dothraki screamers to storm the gates of Meereen.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:20
(+2)
Smalljon Umber:
The Smalljon cuts down a Stark soldier attempting to flee the encircling phalanx of Bolton soldiers by retreating over the mounds of corpses.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
43:57
(+4)
Smalljon Umber:
The Smalljon cuts down two Stark fighters after climbing over the mound of corpses to sandwich the Stark troops against the Bolton shield formation.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:35
(+2)
Smalljon Umber:
Trapped together in the mosh pit of death, the Smalljon delivers several concussive headbutts to Tormund's skull.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
48:52
(+20)
Arya Stark:
Arya serves Walder Frey pies stuffed with meat from his own sons, Black Walder and Lothar Frey.
Walder Frey: "Where are my damn moron sons? Black Walder and Lothar promised to be here by midday."
Arya: "But they're already here, my Lord... Here, my Lord... They weren't easy to carve." (Kill of Named Character)
Walder Frey: "Where are my damn moron sons? Black Walder and Lothar promised to be here by midday."
Arya: "But they're already here, my Lord... Here, my Lord... They weren't easy to carve." (Kill of Named Character)
49:06
(+10)
Arya Stark:
After serving him a meat pie cooked from his own sons, Arya slits the throat of Walder Frey. "My name is Arya Stark. I want you to know that. The last thing you're ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at you as you die."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
8:13
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
Ser Alliser defends his treason against Lord Commander Jon Snow, and convinces the Night's Watch to side with him.
"You're right! We've committed treason, all of us. Jon Snow was my Lord Commander. I had no love for him. That was no secret. But I never once disobeyed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night's Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night's Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night's Watch ... He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it." (Convincing Argument)
"You're right! We've committed treason, all of us. Jon Snow was my Lord Commander. I had no love for him. That was no secret. But I never once disobeyed an order. Loyalty is the foundation on which the Night's Watch is built. And the Watch means everything to me. I have given my life, we have all given our lives to the Night's Watch. Jon Snow was going to destroy the Night's Watch ... He thrust a terrible choice upon us. And we made it." (Convincing Argument)
8:13
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
Alliser takes over as de facto Commander of the Night's Watch after explaining his mutinous actions to kill Jon Snow, and winning over the crowd.
(New Title)
33:21
(+3)
Kevan Lannister:
Kevan Lannister rebuffs Cersei's attempt to force her way into the Small Council discussions, by simply ordering the meeting to be moved.
Jaime Lannister: "We've got a lot to discuss. All of us together."
Cersei Lannister: "And seeing as you cannot make us leave, we best get on with it."
Kevan Lannister: "No, we cannot make you leave. And you cannot make us stay." (Executive Decision)
Jaime Lannister: "We've got a lot to discuss. All of us together."
Cersei Lannister: "And seeing as you cannot make us leave, we best get on with it."
Kevan Lannister: "No, we cannot make you leave. And you cannot make us stay." (Executive Decision)
45:30
(+3)
Smalljon Umber:
Smalljon Umber betrays Rickon Stark and Osha, who his house has been hiding as fugitives, turning them over to Ramsay Bolton.
(Act of Betrayal)
39:27
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime assists Cersei in convincing Kevan Lannister and Olenna Tyrell to march the Tyrell army into King's Landing to arrest the High Sparrow and rescue Queen Margaery. "When the High Sparrow is in custody or dead, preferably, and Margaery's back at Tommen's side, do you think the king will be angry at the outcome?"
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)
2:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime stabs the Mad King Aerys II in the back during one of Bran's flashback visions.
(Act of Betrayal)
30:46
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Arya betrays Bianca, who had entrusted her murder plot of Lady Crane to the Faceless Men. "Careful that one... she wants you dead."
(Act of Betrayal)
31:15
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Arya reclaims Needle, which she had buried into the docks of Braavos.
(New Weapon)
41:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Despite being demoted out of the Kingsguard, Jaime is assigned a new role as head of the Lannister armies sent to deal with the Blackfish in the Riverlands. "I'm being sent to deal with the Blackfish. Apparently Walder Frey can't manage it on his own because he's 400 years old. Sent me with an army to the Riverlands and a siege that could last months."
(New Title)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
21:55
(+6)
Jaime Lannister:
Lothar Frey and Black Walder find themselves under Jaime Lannister's command as he arrives to take over the siege forces surrounding Riverrun.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
35:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime successfully convinces Edmure Tully to comply with his plan to retake Riverrun, sending him to the gates to ask for entry.
(Convincing Argument)
40:00
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is victorious in the Siege of Riverrun after his Trojan Horse, Edmure Tully, gains access to the castle and willingly opens his gates to the Lannister army.
(Victorious Battle)
41:19
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime captures the castle of Riverrun.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
41:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
While watching from the ramparts of the newly-acquired Riverrun, Jaime spots Brienne and Podrick rowing away from the castle under the cover of night.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
43:11
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
Daario reluctantly accepts his assignment to be left behind in Essos as ruler of Meereen.
Daario: "You'll get that throne you want so badly, I'm sure of it. I hope it brings you happiness. I pity the lords of Westeros. They have no idea what's coming for them." (New Title)
Daario: "You'll get that throne you want so badly, I'm sure of it. I hope it brings you happiness. I pity the lords of Westeros. They have no idea what's coming for them." (New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
33:42
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
to Jorah: "You're a romantic. I admire that. Sometimes I look at you and I think - 'so that's what I'll be like when I grow old.'"
(Witty Insult)
19:08
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
High Sparrow: "You would spill blood in this holy place?"
Jaime: "Oh the Gods won't mind. They spill more blood than the rest of us combined." (Threat)
Jaime: "Oh the Gods won't mind. They spill more blood than the rest of us combined." (Threat)
30:35
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Qyburn: "Does he (Gregor Clegane) understand what we're saying? I mean, to the extent that he ever understood complete sentences in the first place."
(Witty Insult)
40:15
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Waif: "That's a short list. That can't be everyone you want to kill. Are you sure you're not forgetting someone?"
Arya: "Which name would you like a girl to speak?" (Threat)
Arya: "Which name would you like a girl to speak?" (Threat)
43:17
(+3)
Smalljon Umber:
Ramsay Bolton: "When my father became Warden of the North, your house refused to pledge their banners."
Smalljon Umber: "Your father was a cunt." (Witty Insult)
Smalljon Umber: "Your father was a cunt." (Witty Insult)
45:22
(+3)
Smalljon Umber:
to Ramsay Bolton and Harald Karstark: "And a boy, nice and young. The way Karstark likes 'em."
(Witty Insult)
20:05
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
Daario: "I don't think you can ride the Dragon. Twenty years ago, maybe."
Jorah: "What?"
Daario: "Our Queen. She's wild, you know. Don't let her size fool you. It's hard enough for me, and I'm a young man. You... I don't think your heart could take it." (Witty Insult)
Jorah: "What?"
Daario: "Our Queen. She's wild, you know. Don't let her size fool you. It's hard enough for me, and I'm a young man. You... I don't think your heart could take it." (Witty Insult)
20:43
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
to Jorah: "If I win, I'm the shit who killed an old man. If I lose, I'm the shit who was killed by an old man.
(Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
22:03
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
when Jorah asks Daario to surrender his signature knife: "ahh... I'm... very attached to this knife."
(Funny Line)
23:01
(+3)
Daario Naharis :
As he and Jorah watch a Dothraki couple going at it on the streets: "I should have been born a Dothraki."
(Funny Line)
35:18
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to High Sparrow: "You've already insulted one great house. It won't happen twice. Every last sparrow will die before Margaery Tyrell walks down that street."
(Threat)
41:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
"I'm being sent to deal with the Blackfish. Apparently Walder Frey can't manage it on his own because he's 400 years old."
(Witty Insult)
18:15
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn: "Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
Jaime: "Someone certainly does." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "Someone certainly does." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Oh no, not me. I'm just an upjump sellsword."
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You have better instincts than any officer in the Lannister army."
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "And you'll get all three. A Lannister always pa-"
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Lothar Frey: "Ser Jaime, we didn't know you were coming."
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
21:29
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Black Walder: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
(Threat)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
Jaime: "Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parley."
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)
greeting Podrick Payne: "Gettin' a bit old to be a squire, aren't we?"
(Witty Insult)
Bronn: "Are they in there?"
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)
on Jaime Lannister: "The way all women look at him is frankly irritating. I preferred working with the little brother on that account."
(Funny Line)
16:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
on Sansa Stark: "In my experience, girls like her don't live very long."
(Witty Insult)
22:54
(+3)
Kevan Lannister:
Kevan: "Where are you going?"
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."
Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550 (Witty Insult)
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."
Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550 (Witty Insult)
submitted by dclark51 (approved!)
31:18
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Edmure Tully: "Do you imagine yourself a decent person? ... After you've massacred my family. Kept me in a cell for years. Stolen our lands."
Jaime: "I'll remind you that our houses are at war. I'm sorry if this conflict has inconvenienced you, but rebelling against the Crown does have consequences." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "I'll remind you that our houses are at war. I'm sorry if this conflict has inconvenienced you, but rebelling against the Crown does have consequences." (Witty Insult)
34:35
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Edmure Tully: "I'll send for your baby boy. And I'll launch him into Riverrun with a catapult. Because you don't matter to me, Lord Edmure. Your son doesn't matter to me. The people in the castle don't matter to me. Only Cersei."
(Threat)
to Jaime: "She doesn't want me, she wants your golden fingers up her twat."
(Funny Line)
submitted by axhandle (approved!)
to Jaime, after a Frey serving girl gives him the eye: "You don't even have to do anything, do you?"
(Funny Line)
Jaime Lannister: "Those two have their eyes on you."
Bronn: "They have their eyes on *you*, cunt."
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "They have their eyes on *you*, cunt."
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Witty Insult)
26:10
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Walder Frey: "Fear is a marvelous thing."
Jaime: "They don't fear the Freys, though. They fear the Lannisters. We gave you the Riverlands to hold the Riverlands. If we have to ride north and take them back for you every time you lose them, why do we need you?" (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "They don't fear the Freys, though. They fear the Lannisters. We gave you the Riverlands to hold the Riverlands. If we have to ride north and take them back for you every time you lose them, why do we need you?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
35:48
(+5)
Theon Greyjoy:
Yara forces Theon to drink while the fleet is docked.
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
7:07
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya drinks a glass of milk of the poppy to settle her into sleep.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Bronn drinks at the Frey-Lannister feast celebrating the retaking of Riverrun.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
43:32
(+5)
Daario Naharis :
Daario takes a drink after accepting his assignment to stay behind in Meereen.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
43:08
(+10)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime and Cersei get it on after hot and heavy dirty talk about the power of House Lannister and destroying their enemies. "They've made us both stronger, all of them. They have no idea how strong we are. No idea what we're going to do to them. We've always been together. We'll always be together."
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
49:37
(+10)
Alliser Thorne:
Ser Alliser is hanged for his role in the assassination of Jon Snow.
(Death)
+1 for Alliser Thorne
+1 for Alliser Thorne
+1 for Alliser Thorne
+1 for Alliser Thorne
+1 for Alliser Thorne
47:45
(+10)
Smalljon Umber:
After battling while trapped together in the the moshpit of death, the Smalljon dies after Tormund rips out his jugular with his bare teeth.
(Death)
+1 for Alliser Thorne
17:27
(+10)
Kevan Lannister:
Kevan Lannister is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside.
(Death)
+1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Smalljon Umber
Special
32:28
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Olenna to Cersei: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Special)
(Special)
40:15
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Waif: "Who else was on Arya Stark's funny little list?"
Arya: "Cersei Lannister. Gregor Clegane. Walder Frey." (Special)
Arya: "Cersei Lannister. Gregor Clegane. Walder Frey." (Special)
48:07
(+3)
Alliser Thorne:
to Jon Snow: "I fought, I lost. Now I rest. But you, Lord Snow, you'll be fighting their battles forever."
(Special)
43:11
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon acts against his own self-interest, throwing away his own claim in support of his sister Yara ruling the Iron Islands.
(Special)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
19:44
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon elects to stump for his sister Yara, after other some of the other Ironborn nominate him to inherit the Salt Throne. "I am Theon Greyjoy, last living son of Balon Greyjoy ... and she is your rightful ruler."
(Special)
"Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
(Special)
21:39
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime smacks Black Walder with his golden hand as he gives a lesson on threats.
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Special)
Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack* (Special)
Bronn starts instructing the Frey forces on the proper siege preparations: "Have your lads start digging perimeter trenches. Set pickets every hundred yards. And work double-time on those siege towers and trebuchets."
(Special)
35:42
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Yara forces Theon to drink while the fleet is docked.
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Special)
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Special)
submitted by rls14 (approved!)
Podrick: "She's training me to fight."
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)
42:09
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
after spotting them from the castle wall, Jaime waves to Brienne and Podrick as they row away from Riverrun.
(Special)
submitted by andres.geurts (approved!)
24:08
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn converses with Jaime about the women at the Frey-Lannister feast.
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Special)
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?" (Special)