What is bread may never pie
House Tippmix S7
Owner: deri.antal97
32.5 roto pts (#6)
Z-Score:
-0.717 (percentile: 23.67%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Acts of Intercourse (40)
Best Week:
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
(+6.5 roto points)
Team MVP:
Cersei Lannister
(picked #1,
140 points,
79.1% of team total)
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 18 |
Cersei Lannister
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
|
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured * +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
| 82 |
Varys
Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys now pulls the political strings for Daenerys Targaryen, arranging alliances with the Westerosi Houses Tyrell and Martell. He controls a vast network of spies.
|
* +1 politics point when he meets another character in secret * +1 point when someone references his being a eunuch to him * +1 point when he passes along information from his "little birds" |
| 9 |
Brienne of Tarth
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
|
* Scores every time she mentions the "oath" or "vow" she swore to serve the Starks. * Scores every time someone references her size/masculinity/attractiveness. |
| 258 |
Lyanna Mormont
The spunky young head of House Mormont.
|
+1 whenever she puts an adult in their place |
| 45 |
Eddison Tollett
One of Jon Snow's few friends in the Night's Watch, he now serves as the Lord Commander after Jon deserts the order following his betrayal.
|
|
| 92 |
Edmure Tully
Catelyn Stark's brother, and the heir to House Tully and Riverrun. He is held as a prisoner of Lord Walder Frey after the betrayal at the Red Wedding.
|
|
| 189 |
Nymeria Sand
One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She's into whips.
|
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell |
| 249 |
Sam (Gilly's Baby)
The incestuous son of Gilly and her father Craster. He travels with Gilly as she accompanies Samwell Tarly to Oldtown.
|
Kills
53:09
(+2)
Nymeria Sand:
Nymeria stabs an Ironborn, only to turn around to see her sister Obara being killed.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:18
(+1)
Nymeria Sand:
In a fury after witnessing her sister Obara's death, Nymeria whip-grabbles Euron Greyjoy, spinning closer to slice him across the leg with her dagger.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
0:00
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
28:28
(+1)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne beats lucky man Podrick badly in a sparring session at Winterfell, before Arya Stark inerrupts.
Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
8:37
(+3)
Eddison Tollett:
Edd learns that Bran Stark is still alive, after he and Meera Reed show up to the gates of Castle Black.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
10:14
(+3)
Lyanna Mormont:
Lyanna quells the Northern Lords' resistance to Jon's plan of enlisting women on the front lines to help defend the North
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Convincing Argument)
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Convincing Argument)
22:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift.
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Varys convinces Daenerys that she doesn't need to demand his blind allegiance, as long as she is a just ruler.
Daenerys: "Proven himself loyal? Quite the opposite. If he dislikes one monarch, he conspires to crown the next one. What kind of servant is this?"
Varys: "The kind the realm needs. Incompetence should not be rewarded with blind loyalty. As long as I have my eyes, I'll use them. I wasn't born into a great house. I came from nothing. I was so sold as a slave, and carved up as an offering. When I was a child I lived in gutters, alleys, abandoned houses. You want to know where my true loyalties lie? Not with any king or queen, but with the people. The people, who suffer under despots and prosper under just rule, the people whose hearts you aim to win." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys: "Proven himself loyal? Quite the opposite. If he dislikes one monarch, he conspires to crown the next one. What kind of servant is this?"
Varys: "The kind the realm needs. Incompetence should not be rewarded with blind loyalty. As long as I have my eyes, I'll use them. I wasn't born into a great house. I came from nothing. I was so sold as a slave, and carved up as an offering. When I was a child I lived in gutters, alleys, abandoned houses. You want to know where my true loyalties lie? Not with any king or queen, but with the people. The people, who suffer under despots and prosper under just rule, the people whose hearts you aim to win." (Convincing Argument)
19:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed."
(New Weapon)
22:34
(+6)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
23:28
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
30:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
33:09
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
11:49
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
12:57
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
41:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
62:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
62:50
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
63:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
64:12
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
48:28
(+3)
Nymeria Sand:
Tyene Sand: "Maybe I'll kill you both before we take King's Landing. And then I won't have to share."
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!" (Funny Line)
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!" (Funny Line)
28:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "She gave Tarly a choice, a man who had taken up arms against her. What else could she do?"
Varys: "Not burn him alive alongside his son?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Not burn him alive alongside his son?" (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
Varys: "Nothing good." (Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
Varys: "Nothing good." (Funny Line)
7:44
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit."
(Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
19:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
27:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you."
(Threat)
61:07
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
20:52
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
28:15
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:24
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
6:40
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Varys takes Tyrion wine cup and downs it while recollecting his days as the Mad Kind Aerys' adviser.
"I found the traitors, but I wasn't the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It's what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy - I'm not the one doing it. When the pitch of their screams rose higher - I'm not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of their burning flesh filled the throne room - I'm not the one doing it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
"I found the traitors, but I wasn't the one burning them alive. I was only a purveyor of information. It's what I told myself when I watched them beg for mercy - I'm not the one doing it. When the pitch of their screams rose higher - I'm not the one doing it. When their hair caught fire and the smell of their burning flesh filled the throne room - I'm not the one doing it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
30:30
(+40)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
53:30
(+5)
Nymeria Sand:
Nymeria is bested by Euron Greyjoy, who blocks her dagger and strangles her with her own whip.
(Death)
56:02
(+2)
Nymeria Sand:
In the aftermath of Euron's ambush on Yara's fleet, Nymeria's body hangs from the bowsprit of the burning ship, with her own whip as a noose.
(Dead Body Appearance)
Special
10:14
(+3)
Lyanna Mormont:
Lyanna puts Lord Glover in his place after his resistance to Jon's plan of enlisting women on the front lines to help defend the North
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Special)
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Special)
20:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death.
(Special)
23:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by adamjfallon (approved!)
31:03
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
6:35
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
The Feels
20:20
(+0)
Brienne of Tarth:
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:
Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)