I drink and I know random things
Battle of the Bastards
Owner: gvanness
4-3, 66.5 roto pts (#2)
Z-Score:
1.246 (percentile: 89.36%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Best Week:
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
(+11 roto points)
Team MVP:
Cersei Lannister
(picked #3,
140 points,
51.66% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-2
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
18 |
Cersei Lannister
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
|
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured * +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
59 |
Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell)
The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna seeks only revenge against the Lannisters after Cersei wiped out nearly all of House Tyrell in the wildfire explosion at the Sept of Baelor. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.
|
+1 point every time she interlocks arms with someone while walking. |
32 |
Jorah Mormont
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys Targaryen's most trusted advisors before his banishment and subsequent infection with the fatal greyscale disease. As Daenerys leaves for Westeros, he wanders Essos in search of a cure.
|
* +1 point when he explains to someone he has Greyscale * +1 point in each scene that Jorah serves as an encyclopedia for Essos culture. * +1 point each time Daenerys convinces him to go on a mission / do something that doesn't involve being anywhere around her (friendzone) |
258 |
Lyanna Mormont
The spunky young head of House Mormont.
|
+1 whenever she puts an adult in their place |
84 |
Robin Arryn
The young, sickly son of the late Jon Arryn and Lysa Tully. He is Lord of the Vale, although he is easily manipualted by Lord Petyr Baelish, who serves as Lord Protector until he comes of age.
|
Gains points in the the Wine category for breastfeeding. +1 point when he mentions making something "fly". |
270 |
Ed Sheeran
|
+1 for each song sung |
104 |
Hot Pie
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
|
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares |
209 |
Karsi
A Wildling chieftain who was killed in the Battle of Hardhome. She appears to have been re-animated as a wight.
|
Kills
0:00
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
After the Tyrell forces are defeated and Highgarden is taken by the Lannisters, Olenna accepts the mercy offering of poisoned wine offered by Jaime.
Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good." (Major Injury of Named Character)
Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good." (Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
(Kill of Named Character (finished off from previously fatal injury))
26:47
(+10)
Jorah Mormont:
As the wight bear mauls a helpless Thoros, Jorah runs in to stab it with his dragonglass dagger, killing the bear and saving Thoros.
(Kill of Named Character)
32:57
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah slices across a wight during the attack on the White Walker scouting party.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:20
(+52)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah cuts down 26 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
10:14
(+3)
Lyanna Mormont:
Lyanna quells the Northern Lords' resistance to Jon's plan of enlisting women on the front lines to help defend the North
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Convincing Argument)
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Convincing Argument)
22:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift.
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Hot Pie learns that Arya Stark is back in Westeros after recognizing her at the inn.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by EvanWolfe (approved!)
19:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed."
(New Weapon)
22:34
(+6)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
23:28
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
30:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
33:09
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
11:49
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
12:57
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
41:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
40:55
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah figures out that the White Walkers have some kind of hive-like control over the wight.
"When you killed the White Walker, almost all the dead that followed it fell. We can go for the Walkers. Maybe we'll stand a chance." (Secret Discovery)
"When you killed the White Walker, almost all the dead that followed it fell. We can go for the Walkers. Maybe we'll stand a chance." (Secret Discovery)
62:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
62:50
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
63:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
64:12
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
on Cersei: "She's a disease, I regret my role in spreading it. You will too."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by megan.m.rabuse (approved!)
on Joffrey Baratheon: "He really was a cunt, wasn't he?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by megan.m.rabuse (approved!)
28:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
Jaime Lannister: "There are always lessons in failures."
Olenna Tyrell: "Yes. You must be very wise by now." (Witty Insult)
Olenna Tyrell: "Yes. You must be very wise by now." (Witty Insult)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
7:44
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit."
(Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
19:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
27:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you."
(Threat)
61:07
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
20:52
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:45
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah drinks the rum given to him by Samwell, as he braces himself to undergo the experimental Greyscale procedure.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
28:15
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:24
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Olenna drinks the glass of poisoned wine provided by Jaime, after the Tyrells are defeated at Highgarden.
Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
6:40
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
30:30
(+40)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
(Death)
Special
10:14
(+3)
Lyanna Mormont:
Lyanna puts Lord Glover in his place after his resistance to Jon's plan of enlisting women on the front lines to help defend the North
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Special)
Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island." (Special)
20:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death.
(Special)
23:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by adamjfallon (approved!)
36:09
(+3)
Ed Sheeran:
Ed leads the Lannister camp of soldiers in a song: "for hands of gold are always cold, but a woman's hands are warm."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Arya meets Hot Pie at the Crossroads Inn, where he has baked up 4 on-screen pies: the Jorah special being eaten by two unnamed characters, Arya's pie, and two more left on the serving tray.
(Special)
31:03
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
6:35
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
17:18
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Qhono?: "This man says he is your friend, Khaleesi."
Daenerys: "He is my friend." (Special)
Daenerys: "He is my friend." (Special)
17:42
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Upon his return to Dragonstone, Jorah is introduced to the new Daario: "Jon Snow, this is Ser Jorah Mormont, an old friend."
(Special)
The Feels
45:28
(+0)
Jorah Mormont:
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
45:47
(+0)
Jorah Mormont:
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.
Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)