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Crows before Hoes | Fantasora

Crows before Hoes

Jared's season 6 league

Owner: elegaski24

7-3, 31 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score: -0.131 (percentile: 44.79%)
Weeks at #1: 8
Categories won: Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (111), Glasses of Wine Consumed (45)
Best Week: Episode 1: The Red Woman (+8 roto points)
Team MVP: Tyrion Lannister (picked #1, 106 points, 33.97% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-5

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
#1 106 0 12 51 40 0 0 0 3 0
The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
#13 54 10 18 18 5 0 0 0 3 0
Lord of House Bolton, and Warden of the North after his betrayal of Robb Stark at the Red Wedding. He is the father of Ramsay Bolton, who is his legitimized bastard son.
#24 34 0 6 9 0 0 0 16 3 0
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.
#25 29 0 6 3 0 20 0 0 0 0
A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.
#36 24 0 6 0 0 0 0 15 3 0
The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.
#37 24 0 0 24 0 0 0 0 0 0
The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.
#61 16 0 3 3 0 0 0 10 0 0
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
#48 13 10 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She wields a whip.
#49 6 0 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.
#12 6 0 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
#72 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.
#60 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He now leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 312 20 63 111 45 20 0 41 12 0

Roster

charId Character Special
17
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
79
Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels
2x multiplier for betrayal events
+1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa
5
The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
* Lady's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point in every scene she cries
52
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.
* +1 point for mentioning that "the night is dark and full of terrors" * +1 each time she mentions a vision she sees in the flames
59
The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.
+1 point every time she interlocks arms with someone while walking.
191
The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
189
One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She wields a whip.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
126
A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.
+1 point whenever he name-drops that the brothel "is Lord Petyr Baelish's establishment"
25
The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.
80
A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
+1 point for each act of blacksmithing.
101
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He now leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
Can receive points multiple times in the Death category
+1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
102
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
+1 point every time he revives someone.
+1 when shown igniting his flaming sword
Kills
Episode 1: The Red Woman
28:42 (+10) Obara Sand:
Obara stabs Trystane through the face after he turns his back on her to face Nymeria Sand one-on-one. (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 8: No One
Beric kicks over the third tree stump, strangling the last of the bandits on a noose. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Sansa feeds the imprisoned Ramsay to his own hounds.

Ramsay: "My hounds will never harm me."
Sansa: "You haven't fed them in seven days. You said it yourself."
Ramsay: "They're loyal beasts."
Sansa: "They were. Now they're starving."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Given a redo, Lady Sansa finally accepts Brienne of Tarth into her service as a knight.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Obara and Nymeria arrive on the Dornish ship to assassinate Trystane.
Obara: "We're not here to feed you. We're here to kill you."
Nymeria: "You want her to do it? Or me?
(Act of Betrayal)
Obara and Nymeria arrive on the Dornish ship to assassinate Trystane.
Obara: "We're not here to feed you. We're here to kill you."
Nymeria: "You want her to do it? Or me?
(Act of Betrayal)
Episode 2: Home
Melisandre invokes her pleas to the Lord of Light in an attempt to resurrect Jon Snow. After several minutes and of killing the hopes of everyone in the room, Jon is left alone and suddenly awakes, gasping for breath. God damn lag. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by jfarmz (approved!)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Kevan Lannister rebuffs Cersei's attempt to force her way into the Small Council discussions, by simply ordering the meeting to be moved.
Jaime Lannister: "We've got a lot to discuss. All of us together."
Cersei Lannister: "And seeing as you cannot make us leave, we best get on with it."
Kevan Lannister: "No, we cannot make you leave. And you cannot make us stay."
(Executive Decision)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Littlefinger prevails over Lord Yohn Royce's protests, convincing Robin Arryn to mobilize the forces of the Vale against the Boltons, ostensibly to rescue Sansa Stark. "Our Lord has spoken. Gather the Knights of the Vale. The time has come to join the fray." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.

"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Sansa convinces Jon to rally the Wildling armies and march on Winterfell.

"You are the son of the last true Warden of the North. Northern families are loyal. They'll fight for you if you ask. A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 5: The Door
Sansa learns of the re-emergence of the Blackfish and the Tully army. "Your great-uncle, Brynden the Blackfish, has gathered what remains of the Tully forces and retaken Riverrun. (Secret Discovery)
Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
Episode 8: No One
Beric has captured Lem Lemoncloak, who was falsely leading a band of outlaws in the name of the Brotherhood without Banners. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.

Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach."
(Convincing Argument)
The Knights of the Vale rout the Bolton army, striking the shield formation from the rear and decimating the spearmen with a stream of cavalry, forcing Ramsay to retreat back to Winterfell. (Victorious Battle)
Sansa retakes Winterfell for House Stark after defeating Ramsay Bolton and the rest of the Bolton army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Littlefinger pledges his support of House Stark to Sansa Stark. "News of this battle will spread quickly through the Seven Kingdoms. I've declared for House Stark for all to hear." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Melisandre admits to sacrificing Shireen after being exposed by Davos Seaworth, but manages to convince Jon Snow to spare her in the face of the looming White Walker threat.

Melisandre: "I've been ready to die for many years. If the Lord was done with me, so be it, but he's not. You've seen the Night King, Jon Snow. You know the great war is still to come. You know the army of the dead will be upon us soon. And you know I can help you win that war."
Jon Snow: "Ride south today. If you return to the North, I'll have you hanged as a murderer."
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by mg.flanigan11 (approved!)
"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen." (New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 2: Home
Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things."
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye)
(Funny Line)
to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help." (Funny Line)
to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations."
(Funny Line)
to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking." (Funny Line)
Olenna: "I was invited, my dear, to help deal with several troublesome issues, such as the Queen's imprisonment."
Cersei: "Thank you for bringing it up. It's well past time we addressed the abuses I endured."
Olenna: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time." (Funny Line)
Cersei: "You once spoke of your respect for our father because he understood the necessity of working with one's rivals."
Olenna: "My dear, you have been stripped of your dignity and authority, publicly shamed, and confined to the Red Keep. What's left to work with?"
(Witty Insult)
Episode 5: The Door
to Littlefinger: "Did you know about Ramsay? If you didn't know you're an idiot. If you did know, you're my enemy." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that." (Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*" (Funny Line)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
to Septa Unella: "You're now in your sanctuary now, my dear. All I have to do is whistle and my men will stroll you in here and bash you about until I tell them to stop... *if* I tell them to stop." (Threat)
to Cersei: "I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age it's hard to recall. But the truly vile do stand out through the years." (Witty Insult)
Olenna: "You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I could find in all this misery." (Witty Insult)
Episode 8: No One
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
Kevan: "Where are you going?"
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550
(Witty Insult)
submitted by dclark51 (approved!)
Sandor Clegane: "They killed a friend of mine."
Thoros: "You've got friends?"
(Witty Insult)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?"
(Witty Insult)
submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)
Jon Snow: "Any advice?"
Melisandre: "Don't lose."
(Funny Line)
submitted by mg.flanigan11 (approved!)
Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least."
(Witty Insult)
to Ramsay: "Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. Your name will disappear. All memory of you will disappear." (Threat)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
"Obara. You look like an angry little boy. Don't presume to tell me what I need." (Witty Insult)
Petyr Baelish: "Every time I'm faced with a decision, I close my eyes and see the same picture. Whenever I consider an action, I ask myself will this action help to make this picture a reality? ... A picture of me on the Iron Throne... and you by my side."
Sansa: "It's a pretty picture."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: Home
Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Sansa steals away Jon's mug of ale before he can even take an on-screen sip. Jon gets the last laugh as she coughs it back up. "You'd think after thousands of years, the Night's Watch would have learned how to make a good ale." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: The Door
Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 8: No One
Tyrion drinks in the Meereenese council room. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Thoros drinks from his wineskin as he walks towards the campfire. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Kevan Lannister is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside. (Death)
Special
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
One teardrop rolled down to her bottom cheek as she reads about Rickon's capture in Ramsay's letter to Jon Snow. (Special)
submitted by golub.jake (approved!)