Crows before Hoes

7-3, 31 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score: -0.131 (percentile: 44.79%)
Weeks at #1: 8
Categories won: Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (111), Glasses of Wine Consumed (45)
Best Week: Episode 1: The Red Woman (+8 roto points)
Team MVP: Tyrion Lannister (picked #1, 106 points, 33.97% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-5

Roster Stats

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Politics	Insults	Wine	Sex	Deaths	Special
Tyrion Lannister The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.	#1	106	0	12	51	40	0	0	3
Sansa Stark The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.	#13	54	10	18	18	5	0	0	3
Roose Bolton Lord of House Bolton, and Warden of the North after his betrayal of Robb Stark at the Red Wedding. He is the father of Ramsay Bolton, who is his legitimized bastard son.	#24	34	0	6	9	0	0	16	3
Melisandre A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.	#25	29	0	6	3	0	20	0	0
Alliser Thorne A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.	#36	24	0	6	0	0	0	15	3
Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell) The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.	#37	24	0	0	24	0	0	0	0
Kevan Lannister The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.	#61	16	0	3	3	0	0	10	0
Obara Sand The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.	#48	13	10	3	0	0	0	0	0
Nymeria Sand One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She wields a whip.	#49	6	0	3	3	0	0	0	0
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.	#12	6	0	6	0	0	0	0	0
Thoros of Myr A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.	-	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.	#72	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Olyvar A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.	#60	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Beric Dondarrion Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He now leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.	-	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		312	20	63	111	45	20	41	12

Roster

charId	Character	Special
17	Tyrion Lannister The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.	* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
79	Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.	+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels 2x multiplier for betrayal events +1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa
5	Sansa Stark The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.	* Lady's actions contribute to her points. * +1 point in every scene she cries
52	Melisandre A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.	* +1 point for mentioning that "the night is dark and full of terrors" * +1 each time she mentions a vision she sees in the flames
59	Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell) The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.	+1 point every time she interlocks arms with someone while walking.
191	Obara Sand The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.	+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
189	Nymeria Sand One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She wields a whip.	+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
126	Olyvar A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.	+1 point whenever he name-drops that the brothel "is Lord Petyr Baelish's establishment"
25	Kevan Lannister The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.
80	Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.	+1 point for each act of blacksmithing.
101	Beric Dondarrion Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He now leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.	Can receive points multiple times in the Death category +1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
102	Thoros of Myr A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.	+1 point every time he revives someone. +1 when shown igniting his flaming sword

Kills

Episode 1: The Red Woman

28:42 (+10) Obara Sand:

Obara stabs Trystane through the face after he turns his back on her to face Nymeria Sand one-on-one. (Kill of Named Character)

Episode 8: No One

46:31 (+2) Beric Dondarrion:

Beric kicks over the third tree stump, strangling the last of the bandits on a noose. (Kill of Unnamed Character)

Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards

57:17 (+10) Sansa Stark:

Sansa feeds the imprisoned Ramsay to his own hounds.

Ramsay: "My hounds will never harm me."
Sansa: "You haven't fed them in seven days. You said it yourself."
Ramsay: "They're loyal beasts."
Sansa: "They were. Now they're starving." (Kill of Named Character)

7 more comments - see full thread

Ramsay starved the hounds until they were hungry enough to eat him. Maybe he should get the kill. -twalters

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2016 Jun 21 nyan likes this
where was ghost? -crisbell22

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2016 Jun 23
In an interview the director said Ghost was just cut for budget reasons.

"[Ghost] was in there in spades originally, but it's also an incredibly time consuming and expensive character to bring to life," the episode's director Miguel Sapochnik told Business Insider on Monday. "Ultimately we had to choose between Wun-Wun and the direwolf, so the dog bit the dust." -nyan

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2016 Jun 24

Political Wins

Episode 1: The Red Woman

18:16 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Given a redo, Lady Sansa finally accepts Brienne of Tarth into her service as a knight.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise." (New Follower/Prisoner)

28:07 (+3) Nymeria Sand:

Obara and Nymeria arrive on the Dornish ship to assassinate Trystane.
Obara: "We're not here to feed you. We're here to kill you."
Nymeria: "You want her to do it? Or me? (Act of Betrayal)

28:07 (+3) Obara Sand:

Obara and Nymeria arrive on the Dornish ship to assassinate Trystane.
Obara: "We're not here to feed you. We're here to kill you."
Nymeria: "You want her to do it? Or me? (Act of Betrayal)

Episode 2: Home

52:16 (+3) Melisandre:

Melisandre invokes her pleas to the Lord of Light in an attempt to resurrect Jon Snow. After several minutes and of killing the hopes of everyone in the room, Jon is left alone and suddenly awakes, gasping for breath. God damn lag. (New Follower/Prisoner)

submitted by jfarmz (approved!)

23 more comments - see full thread

There's a lot of other good discussion around bigger wholesale changes to the rule. As I said before, it's too unfair to existing players who made draft decisions based on rules at the beginning of the season. We'll incorporate these suggestions into a new ruleset, which league admins will be able to opt into. We'll have more discussion for that and announce a final set of changed closer to midseason. -nyan

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2016 May 3 nsimmonds likes this
Pretty retarded that she gets 2 points less for bringing, arguably, the most important character in the show back from the dead than Thyrion gets for filling his glass with wine.
As for the people that "made draft decisions based on rules at the beginning", I think these people would be much more supportive of awarding over 3 points to Melisandre for her mitzvah than to awarding some weak prince 99 points for walking around. -jshragie

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2016 May 3 righteous likes this
ooohhhh salty. Honestly, as someone who drafted Mel, I think it'd be pretty unfair to give her anything more than maybe 5 here. 3 seems fine. -nsimmonds

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2016 May 4 alicehanners and moonbaseu92 like this

Episode 3: Oathbreaker

33:21 (+3) Kevan Lannister:

Kevan Lannister rebuffs Cersei's attempt to force her way into the Small Council discussions, by simply ordering the meeting to be moved.
Jaime Lannister: "We've got a lot to discuss. All of us together."
Cersei Lannister: "And seeing as you cannot make us leave, we best get on with it."
Kevan Lannister: "No, we cannot make you leave. And you cannot make us stay." (Executive Decision)

Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

12:27 (+3) Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger):

Littlefinger prevails over Lord Yohn Royce's protests, convincing Robin Arryn to mobilize the forces of the Vale against the Boltons, ostensibly to rescue Sansa Stark. "Our Lord has spoken. Gather the Knights of the Vale. The time has come to join the fray." (Convincing Argument)

15:01 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.

"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

50:10 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Sansa convinces Jon to rally the Wildling armies and march on Winterfell.

"You are the son of the last true Warden of the North. Northern families are loyal. They'll fight for you if you ask. A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both." (Convincing Argument)

Episode 5: The Door

6:05 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Sansa learns of the re-emergence of the Blackfish and the Tully army. "Your great-uncle, Brynden the Blackfish, has gathered what remains of the Tully forces and retaken Riverrun. (Secret Discovery)

30:08 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)

Episode 7: The Broken Man

27:11 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Lyanna Mormont pledges her house to Jon Snow's fighting forces: "House Mormont has kept faith with House Stark for a thousand years... We will not break faith today." (New Follower/Prisoner)

submitted by cmwalken15 (approved!)

Episode 8: No One

44:37 (+3) Beric Dondarrion:

Beric has captured Lem Lemoncloak, who was falsely leading a band of outlaws in the name of the Brotherhood without Banners. (New Follower/Prisoner)

Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards

3:23 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.

Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)

48:42 (+3) Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger):

The Knights of the Vale rout the Bolton army, striking the shield formation from the rear and decimating the spearmen with a stream of cavalry, forcing Ramsay to retreat back to Winterfell. (Victorious Battle)

53:00 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Sansa retakes Winterfell for House Stark after defeating Ramsay Bolton and the rest of the Bolton army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)

submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)

10 more comments - see full thread

I think it's exceptionally clear that Sansa has Winterfell and UNCLEAR that Jon has it. Jon is a Snow. Sansa is a Stark. Stark banners were unfurled. Jon may have been leading the army, but it was for the Starks. Not for himself. -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 21 taylorreneegoodrich likes this
If Ramsay was not the only person in Westeros to care about Jon's desertion from the Night's Watch, he has probably already been beheaded by Bronze Yohn, right? -Lem Lemoncake

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2016 Jun 22
Jon didn't desert. He signed on for life. He died. He's free and clear to traipse all over Westeros now. -dopeghoti

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2016 Jun 22

Episode 10: The Winds of Winter

0:00 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Littlefinger pledges his support of House Stark to Sansa Stark. "News of this battle will spread quickly through the Seven Kingdoms. I've declared for House Stark for all to hear." (New Follower/Prisoner)

submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)

34:57 (+3) Melisandre:

Melisandre admits to sacrificing Shireen after being exposed by Davos Seaworth, but manages to convince Jon Snow to spare her in the face of the looming White Walker threat.

Melisandre: "I've been ready to die for many years. If the Lord was done with me, so be it, but he's not. You've seen the Night King, Jon Snow. You know the great war is still to come. You know the army of the dead will be upon us soon. And you know I can help you win that war."
Jon Snow: "Ride south today. If you return to the North, I'll have you hanged as a murderer." (Convincing Argument)

submitted by mg.flanigan11 (approved!)

10 more comments - see full thread

I would say survival in that circumstance is evidence of a convincing argument. She had just confessed to murder yet sh's being set free. We'd have to look at the severity of the crime. If you were accused of murder in front of the Sheriff and you confess, but then argue of your use in the world and your spared the penalty of murder, I'd say your argument was convincing. Jon seals the deal on this one when he threatens that he'll "have her hanged for murder" if she returns. That means he's knowingly releasing a murderer. -mg.flanigan11

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2016 Jun 28
I don't think it's clear enough that she convinced Jon to do one thing or another. All we have on Jon's position is "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" which could be considered like a "any last words?" question, but it's just totally apparent what he initially had in mind. -alexanderdropkin

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2016 Jun 29
With all that we know about Jon Snow, I don't think that there was any doubt that he would have had her killed had she not convinced him otherwise. He executed Janos Slynt for disobeying a direct order from the Lord Commander. Considering Melisandre admitted to burning an innocent girl alive, there is no way his default decision wouldn't have been to kill her. But she managed to convince him to not kill her, so I think she should definitely be rewarded points-wise for still being alive even if she was exiled. I don't think we have a prescedent that a character needs to get everything they're arguing for to get the points, so I think successfully convincing Jon to let her live is good enough for points -cfitzgerald

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2016 Jun 29

47:04 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen." (New Title)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

Episode 1: The Red Woman

28:49 (+3) Nymeria Sand:

After Obara performs the named-character Kill Steal on Trystane: "You're a greedy bitch, you know that?" (Funny Line)

29:17 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)

Episode 2: Home

22:03 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)

submitted by wpearsal (approved!)

22:46 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

reasoning with Varys as he disapproves of Tyrion's alcoholism: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time." (Funny Line)

22:55 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)

I thinks scoring all three of these as separate funny lines is a stretch. This comment alone isn't particularly funny, and it's more of a general exchange. I'll grant that maybe the two could be separate--one is the eunuch joke, the other is an exchange saving face in front of Grey Worm. -alicehanners

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2016 May 2 bookworm13457 and Twisted like this
I thinks scoring all three of these as separate funny lines is a stretch. This comment alone isn't particularly funny, and it's more of a general exchange. I'll grant that maybe the two could be separate--one is the eunuch joke, the other is an exchange saving face in front of Grey Worm. -alicehanners

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2016 May 2 moonbaseu92, coconnor723, Lem Lemoncake, jedjackoway like this
Totally agree with Alice here, does not meet the bar (especially for Tyrion). -coconnor723

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2016 May 2 bookworm13457 and Twisted like this
Yeah, Tyrion sometimes has these scenes that are just written as comic sequences. Combined with how fantastic Peter Dinklage is at delivering them, it almost makes it too easy for Tyrion. Will likely fold this 2nd and the 3rd event (http://fantasora.com/event/1985) together. -nyan

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2016 May 2 bookworm13457 likes this

26:17 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help." (Funny Line)

28:30 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face." (Funny Line)

Episode 3: Oathbreaker

26:31 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)

I don't think this was actually funny (it fell pretty flat to me) so I don't think Tyrion should receive any points for this! -Capnstoobie

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2016 May 9 danny136200 likes this
I disagree. It is the same level of humor as his other statements -skywalkerdude

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2016 May 10
Yeah, Tyrion hasn't been doing much else throughout the last season or any episode of this season than deliver semi-funny lines. Too bad his character has become somewhat one dimensional :/ -Lem Lemoncake

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2016 May 10 nyan likes this

27:27 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking." (Funny Line)

32:14 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

Olenna: "I was invited, my dear, to help deal with several troublesome issues, such as the Queen's imprisonment."
Cersei: "Thank you for bringing it up. It's well past time we addressed the abuses I endured."
Olenna: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Witty Insult)

Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

16:21 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time." (Funny Line)

37:52 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

Cersei: "You once spoke of your respect for our father because he understood the necessity of working with one's rivals."
Olenna: "My dear, you have been stripped of your dignity and authority, publicly shamed, and confined to the Red Keep. What's left to work with?" (Witty Insult)

Episode 5: The Door

3:06 (+3) Sansa Stark:

to Littlefinger: "Did you know about Ramsay? If you didn't know you're an idiot. If you did know, you're my enemy." (Witty Insult)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

4:49 (+3) Sansa Stark:

to Littlefinger: "You said you would protect me... I don't believe you anymore... You can't protect me. You won't even be able to protect yourself if I tell Brienne to cut you down." (Threat)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

30:41 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that." (Funny Line)

submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)

31:47 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*" (Funny Line)

Episode 7: The Broken Man

9:44 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

remaking on Septa Unella: "Does it move or talk?" (Witty Insult)

submitted by ace75318 (approved!)

9:55 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

to Septa Unella: "You're now in your sanctuary now, my dear. All I have to do is whistle and my men will stroll you in here and bash you about until I tell them to stop... *if* I tell them to stop." (Threat)

16:14 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

to Cersei: "I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age it's hard to recall. But the truly vile do stand out through the years." (Witty Insult)

17:16 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

Olenna: "You've lost, Cersei. It's the only joy I could find in all this misery." (Witty Insult)

38:36 (+3) Sansa Stark:

to Jon: "So [Davos Seaworth] is your most trusted advisor now? Because he secured 62 men from a 10-year-old?" (Witty Insult)

38:43 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Jon: "Ser Davos is the reason I'm standing here talking to you and he served Stannis for years."
Sansa: "Stannis... who lost the Blackwater, who murdered his own brother, who doesn't have a head?" (Witty Insult)

Episode 8: No One

9:57 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)

submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)

10 more comments - see full thread

No, what Tyrion said was not a metaphor -alexanderdropkin

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2016 Jun 15
But it's also definitely isn't an insult. Why is pointing out that someone doesn't have to shave a witty insult? It seems neither witty nor insulting to me -cfitzgerald

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2016 Jun 15
It's basically another eunuch jab/reference, since you don't grow any hair if you're castrated before puberty. -nyan

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2016 Jun 15

22:54 (+3) Kevan Lannister:

Kevan: "Where are you going?"
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550 (Witty Insult)

submitted by dclark51 (approved!)

26:24 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Missandei: "I have tried wine before. It made me feel funny."
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)

45:00 (+3) Thoros of Myr:

Sandor Clegane: "They killed a friend of mine."
Thoros: "You've got friends?" (Witty Insult)

Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards

0:00 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)

submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)

Did this happen btw? Wasn't it Tyrion who repeatedly insulted Theon for being a captive at Winterfell and so on, after Theon recommended a red-headed prostitute to Tyrion? -Lem Lemoncake

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2016 Jun 21 nyan likes this
Other explicit lines have already been submitted for this -becharafayad1997

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2016 Jun 21
What other lines? -tibbydoscott

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2016 Jun 21
This suggestion is for Tyrion's opening to Theon: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. "The height of nobility," "a man of your stature," "someone to look up to." You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" -nyan

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2016 Jun 22
Ok. I can see how this would be rolled into one overall insult to Theon for is arrogant ignorance of his own stupidity. But I still think it could two separate insults. -tibbydoscott

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2016 Jun 22

9:52 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Missandei: "Our Queen insists that one of you must die as punishment for your crimes."
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

22:52 (+3) Melisandre:

Jon Snow: "Any advice?"
Melisandre: "Don't lose." (Funny Line)

submitted by mg.flanigan11 (approved!)

This shoupdate be split into two differnt posts, or counted twice as these are two differnt lines. -cmwalken15

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2016 Jun 21
Doesn't fall in any category -becharafayad1997

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2016 Jun 21 alexanderdropkin and twalters like this
I think she said "Don't lose," and it was funny in the same way that one line of hers was, before the took off the ruby. I forget the line, but remember it was deadpan and similar humor, and she got points for it.
-alicehanners

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2016 Jun 21 taylorreneegoodrich and mg.flanigan11 like this
dead pan humor is most certainly funny and in the right catagory. -cmwalken15

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2016 Jun 21 taylorreneegoodrich, dopeghoti, mg.flanigan11 like this

26:44 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

How is this a threat? -alexanderdropkin

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2016 Jun 21 twalters and bookworm13457 like this
I agree. This definitely did not seem like it was meant to be a threat, nor did it seem to be taken as one -cfitzgerald

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2016 Jun 21 alicehanners likes this
Somewhere between threat and insult? The insinuation that whatever Theon claims to have suffered for his crimes, it's still trifling compared to the atrocities he committed. Possibly with a vague threat that Daenerys should really execute him instead. In any case, moving into the pending queue since there seems to be a fair amount of dispute on this. -nyan

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2016 Jun 21 emilien.raggi likes this
Yeah, I didn't parse this as a threat at all; more of an "if it were up to me", while acknowledging the fact that in the present situation, he would not be in his rights to summarily imprison Theon. -dopeghoti

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2016 Jun 21 Laxis likes this
More like funny
-becharafayad1997

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2016 Jun 21
Yeah, I'd go with "witty insult" for the category. This is a clever way of saying "you don't deserve to be alive". -jimwangerin

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2016 Jun 21 nyan and dopeghoti like this

27:09 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)

55:38 (+3) Sansa Stark:

to Ramsay: "Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. Your name will disappear. All memory of you will disappear." (Threat)

Episode 10: The Winds of Winter

39:13 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

"Obara. You look like an angry little boy. Don't presume to tell me what I need." (Witty Insult)

39:22 (+3) Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell):

"Do shut up, dear. *turns to Tyene Sand* Anything from you? *Tyene begins to speak* No? Good. Let the grown women speak." (Witty Insult)

51:28 (+3) Sansa Stark:

Petyr Baelish: "Every time I'm faced with a decision, I close my eyes and see the same picture. Whenever I consider an action, I ask myself will this action help to make this picture a reality? ... A picture of me on the Iron Throne... and you by my side."
Sansa: "It's a pretty picture." (Witty Insult)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

Episode 2: Home

23:19 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

24:46 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Episode 3: Oathbreaker

26:06 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

27:08 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

5:39 (+5) Sansa Stark:

Sansa steals away Jon's mug of ale before he can even take an on-screen sip. Jon gets the last laugh as she coughs it back up. "You'd think after thousands of years, the Night's Watch would have learned how to make a good ale." (Glass of Wine Consumed)

13:28 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Episode 5: The Door

31:13 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Episode 8: No One

25:41 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks in the Meereenese council room. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

27:23 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)

47:02 (+5) Thoros of Myr:

Thoros drinks from his wineskin as he walks towards the campfire. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Acts of Intercourse

Episode 1: The Red Woman

46:53 (+20) Melisandre:

Melisandre removes her ruby necklace as she strips down to her true form in front of the mirror. (Non-sexual Nude Scene)

Deaths

Episode 10: The Winds of Winter

17:27 (+10) Kevan Lannister:

Kevan Lannister is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside. (Death)

Special

Episode 1: The Red Woman

29:58 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion gives a coin to the Meereenese homeless woman and her baby to feed themselves. (Special)

Episode 4: Book of the Stranger

49:50 (+3) Sansa Stark:

One teardrop rolled down to her bottom cheek as she reads about Rickon's capture in Ramsay's letter to Jon Snow. (Special)

submitted by golub.jake (approved!)

Are you sure she wasn't salivating over that Night's Watch mutton? ? Will do a rewatch of this to check. -nyan

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2016 May 16 taylorreneegoodrich and golub.jake like this
It's after jon says "We don't know that" when she says "Yes we do" -rbxd187

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2016 May 16 nyan, golub.jake, taylorreneegoodrich like this
The tear that was promised. https://imgur.com/npVqeEm -nyan

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2016 May 17 Lem Lemoncake and theesarahsmith like this
Incredible eagle eyes, @golub.jake -nyan

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2016 May 17

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