Matchup: Cersei Must Die vs Crows before Hoes for Ep 8

Jared's season 6 league

Cersei Must Die (tara.legaski)

Character	Drafted	Total	Insults	Wine	Deaths	Special
Bronn A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.	#15	12	9	0	0	3
Cersei Lannister Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen. Afflicted by a rare water allergy.	#3	8	3	5	0	0
Osha A wildling woman who serves the Starks. She splits off from Bran's group and travels with Rickon.	#63	1	0	0	1	0
Trystane Martell Prince Doran Martell's son, and heir to Dorne. He is betrothed to Myrcella Baratheon, and accompanies her back to King's Landing to serve on the Small Council.	#46	1	0	0	1	0
Olly An orphan boy of the Night's Watch, and a squire for Lord Commander Jon Snow. He is part of the mutiny that betrays Jon and leaves him for dead.	#58	1	0	0	1	0
Leaf A member of the Children of the Forest. She leads Bran and his companions to cave of the Three-eyed Raven.	#70	1	0	0	1	0
Tormund Giantsbane A leader of the Wildlings, and formerly a trusted lieutenant and second-in-command to Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall. Although they have met in battle more than once, he bears a grudging respect for Jon Snow.	#34	0	0	0	0	0
Ramsay Bolton The legitimized bastard son of Roose Bolton, now Warden of the North. He is fond of the Bolton tradition of flaying their enemies.	#10	0	0	0	0	0
Randyll Tarly Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.	#51	0	0	0	0	0
White Walker (Night King) The leader of the White Walkers.	#22	0	0	0	0	0
Lancel Lannister A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.	#39	0	0	0	0	0
Margaery Tyrell The wife of King Tommen Baratheon and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Her increasing influence over the young king have put at her odds against his mother, Cersei Lannister.	#27	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		24	12	5	4	3

Crows before Hoes (elegaski24)

Character	Drafted	Total	Insults	Wine	Deaths
Tyrion Lannister The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.	#1	16	6	10	0
Kevan Lannister The younger brother of the late Tywin Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. Often underestimated as his brother's inferior, Kevan is one of the few in King's Landing who is not afraid to stand up against Cersei Lannister's schemes. With Cersei's imprisonment, he has returned to serve as Hand of the King to the young King Tommen Baratheon.	#61	3	3	0	0
Roose Bolton Lord of House Bolton, and Warden of the North after his betrayal of Robb Stark at the Red Wedding. He is the father of Ramsay Bolton, who is his legitimized bastard son.	#24	1	0	0	1
Alliser Thorne A former master-of-arms and acting Commander of the Night's Watch, Thorne narrowly lost the Lord Commander choosing to Jon Snow in S5. He later led a mutiny of disgruntled Night's Watch members against Jon Snow, stabbing and leaving him for dead.	#36	1	0	0	1
Olyvar A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie. He plays a key role in the Sparrows' indictment and imprisonment of Loras Tyrell.	#60	0	0	0	0
Sansa Stark The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.	#13	0	0	0	0
Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell) The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.	#37	0	0	0	0
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger) Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.	#12	0	0	0	0
Nymeria Sand One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She wields a whip.	#49	0	0	0	0
Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.	#72	0	0	0	0
Melisandre A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre served as a close advisor to Stannis Baratheon until she abandoned his cause at the Battle of Winterfell against the Boltons.	#25	0	0	0	0
Obara Sand The eldest of Prince Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She wields a spear.	#48	0	0	0	0
Totals		21	9	10	2

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

9:57 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)

submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)

10 more comments - see full thread

No, what Tyrion said was not a metaphor -alexanderdropkin

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2016 Jun 15
But it's also definitely isn't an insult. Why is pointing out that someone doesn't have to shave a witty insult? It seems neither witty nor insulting to me -cfitzgerald

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2016 Jun 15
It's basically another eunuch jab/reference, since you don't grow any hair if you're castrated before puberty. -nyan

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2016 Jun 15

12:53 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Lancel Lannister: "Order your man (Gregor Clegane) to step aside, or there will be violence."
Cersei: "... I choose violence." (Threat)

This is certainly a threat on Lancel's part as well, is responding to a threat really a threat itself? -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 13 given.brian and jshragie like this
Lancel's line was an ordinary threat, Cersei's was a cold-blooded comeback. -nyan

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2016 Jun 13
Countering a threat with your own threat makes for more threats, as is just and true for Westeros. -dopeghoti

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2016 Jun 13 Ser Vincent likes this
Oh please, its only a cold-blooded comeback because it's Cersei. Lancel said "call him off or we will have to fight him." And she said "so fight him".

If his isn't a threat, hers definitely isn't. I think you are being way too personally subjective about threats -alicehanners

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2016 Jun 15 jedjackoway likes this
It feels like it hasn't been clear what the insults/threats/funny category is. It is never meant to score literally everything that can be construed as insulting/threatening, but is intended to reward the characters who are charismatic, and deliver the well-worded jabs.

Think about a rap battle. Literally every single line spoken by either participant is going to be "insulting". But only the best of those lines - insults with wit, cleverness, or highly-relevant comebacks - are the ones that illicit the "ooohs" and "BURNN!!" and "BAH GAWD that man had a FAMILY!" reactions from the audience. Those are the lines this category is trying to reward. -nyan

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2016 Jun 17
I think you can make a case for Cersei's line being below the bar - it's far from the best line in this episode (though I think there are wore ones, personally). But Lancel's line is an absolutely pedestrian threat, wording-wise, and does not fit into the purpose of this category. I cannot imagine a single viewer having a "Goddamnn I can't believe Lancel just said that" reaction to that scene. -nyan

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2016 Jun 17

14:47 (+3) Bronn:

greeting Podrick Payne: "Gettin' a bit old to be a squire, aren't we?" (Witty Insult)

15:03 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn: "Are they in there?"
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)

15:28 (+3) Bronn:

on Jaime Lannister: "The way all women look at him is frankly irritating. I preferred working with the little brother on that account." (Funny Line)

22:54 (+3) Kevan Lannister:

Kevan: "Where are you going?"
Cersei Lannister: "To stand by my son."
Kevan: "Your place is in the gallery. With the other ladies of the court."

Read more at: http://transcripts.foreverdreaming.org/viewtopic.php?f=67&t=27550 (Witty Insult)

submitted by dclark51 (approved!)

26:24 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Missandei: "I have tried wine before. It made me feel funny."
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

11:15 (+5) Cersei Lannister:

Cersei drinks in her chambers as Qyburn arrives to deliver a request from the Faith Militant. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

25:41 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks in the Meereenese council room. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

27:23 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Deaths

+1 for Osha, +1 for Alliser Thorne, +1 for Roose Bolton, +1 for Olly, +1 for Leaf, +1 for Trystane Martell

Special

15:44 (+3) Bronn:

Podrick: "She's training me to fight."
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)

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