Little birds
Tywin, Lose, or Draw
Owner: Samuel Warden of the South
32.5 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score:
0.146 (percentile: 55.81%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (78), Glasses of Wine Consumed (55)
Best Week:
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
(+3 roto points)
Team MVP:
Tyrion Lannister
(picked #3,
106 points,
40.15% of team total)
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
17 |
Tyrion Lannister
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
|
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender) |
82 |
Varys
Formerly the Master of Whisperers in King's Landing, Varys controls a vast network of spies. After smuggling Tyrion Lannister to Essos, he reveals himself as a supporter of Daenerys Targaryen's claim to the Iron Throne. In Daenerys' absence, he serves with Tyrion Lannister and presides over the rule of Meereen.
|
* +1 politics point when he meets another character in secret * +1 point when someone references his being a eunuch to him * +1 point when he passes along information from his "little birds" |
37 |
Missandei
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
|
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates. |
38 |
Grey Worm
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
|
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.) * Receives standard sex points for making it to first base |
40 |
Samwell Tarly
A steward of the Night's Watch. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker. He journeys south to begin his training as a Maester to replace the aging Maester Aemon.
|
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters. |
26 |
Lancel Lannister
A cousin to the Lannister children. In a past life he was a stuttering servant to King Robert Baratheon and secret consort to his cousin Queen Cersei Lannister. Lancel now serves as a leading member of the Sparrows, a dangerously militant religious group whose power over King's Landing is growing.
|
+1 politics point when he publicly outs a named character for their sins |
Kills
Grey Worm swiftly slashes the throat of the slave master Razdal mo Eraz, after he offers up the the slaver Yezzzan zo Qaggaz to die as part of the terms of surrender to Daenerys.
(Kill of Named Character)
Grey Worm slashes the throat of Belicho Paenymion, the slave master from Volantis, after he and Razdal mo Eraz offer up the slave trader Yezzzan zo Qaggaz as a sacrifice for Daenerys' terms of surrender.
(Kill of Named Character)
9:13
(+5)
Lancel Lannister:
Lancel carves the seven-pointed star into Loras Tyrell's forehead after his confessions, as a symbol of Loras' sins and newfound faith in the Seven.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
10:55
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam convinces Gilly to go along with his plan to stay with his family in Horn Hill.
Gilly: "I know that, Sam. And he does too. You're the only one who ever has. If you think it's for the best... we trust you."
(Convincing Argument)
Gilly: "I know that, Sam. And he does too. You're the only one who ever has. If you think it's for the best... we trust you."
(Convincing Argument)
11:19
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Gilly acknowledges Sam's stepfather status to little Sam. Samwell proceeds to vomit from all the subsequent feels.
Samwell: "I'd feel better if you threw something at me and stormed off."
Gilly: "I'd never do that to the father of my son." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Samwell: "I'd feel better if you threw something at me and stormed off."
Gilly: "I'd never do that to the father of my son." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Varys' investigations have exposed Vala, the Meereenese prostitute who lured the Unsullied to her brothel so that the Sons of the Harpy could murder them.
"I know who you are and what you've done. You've done a lot. You've sacrificed your body for a cause, which is more than most people do. And you've helped the Sons of the Harpy murder the Unsullied and the Second Sons." (Secret Discovery)
"I know who you are and what you've done. You've done a lot. You've sacrificed your body for a cause, which is more than most people do. And you've helped the Sons of the Harpy murder the Unsullied and the Second Sons." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Varys has discovered the source of the rebellion's funding after coercing the prostitute Vala.
"Sorry.. I was busy, learning who funds the Sons of the Harpy. Some things you can't rush... The Good Masters of Astapor, and the Wise Masters of Yunkai, with help from their friends in Volantis." (Secret Discovery)
"Sorry.. I was busy, learning who funds the Sons of the Harpy. Some things you can't rush... The Good Masters of Astapor, and the Wise Masters of Yunkai, with help from their friends in Volantis." (Secret Discovery)
15:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:08
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
23:27
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Samwell steals his father's Valyrian steel sword, Heartsbane, from above the family mantlepiece.
Gilly: "Sam. That's your father's sword."
Sam: "It's my family's sword."
Gilly: "Sam. Won't he come for it?"
Sam: "He can bloody well try." (New Weapon)
Gilly: "Sam. That's your father's sword."
Sam: "It's my family's sword."
Gilly: "Sam. Won't he come for it?"
Sam: "He can bloody well try." (New Weapon)
23:30
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
On his last night in Horn Hill, Samwell steals his father's Valyrian steel sword, Heartsbane, from above the family mantlepiece.
Gilly: "Sam. That's your father's sword."
Sam: "It's my family's sword."
Gilly: "Sam. Won't he come for it?"
Sam: "He can bloody well try." (Act of Betrayal)
Gilly: "Sam. That's your father's sword."
Sam: "It's my family's sword."
Gilly: "Sam. Won't he come for it?"
Sam: "He can bloody well try." (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
3:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
After Daenerys' awe-inspiring display of burnination, Grey Worm convinces the slave masters' guards to abandon their post. "You men have a choice: fight and die for masters who would never fight and die for you, or go home to your families." They promptly drop their swords and flee.
(Convincing Argument)
17:02
(+3)
Lancel Lannister:
Lancel follows one of Qyburn's little birds to the King's Landing underground. There he is stabbed, but crawls to discover the hidden cache of wildfire buried beneath the Sept of Baelor.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
47:04
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
29:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion to homeless mother: "For your baby. To eat." [makes stuffing motion into mouth]
Varys. "She thinks you want to eat her baby." (Funny Line)
Varys. "She thinks you want to eat her baby." (Funny Line)
22:03
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
Tyrion: "Dragons are intelligent ... They have affection for their friends and fury for their enemies. I am their friend."
Varys: "Do *they* know that?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Do *they* know that?" (Funny Line)
submitted by danmirabile13 (approved!)
22:46
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
reasoning with Varys as he disapproves of Tyrion's alcoholism: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
(Funny Line)
Varys shakes his head and tsks as Tyrion pours out a glass of wine during a meeting of the Meereenese advising council.
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
22:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
26:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help."
(Funny Line)
28:30
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face."
(Funny Line)
to Unsullied guards while fanning himself: "I don't know how you stand in all that leather."
(Funny Line)
submitted by danmirabile13 (approved!)
26:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
27:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Trust me. My own recent experience with slavery have taught me the horrors of that institution."
Missandei: "How many days were you a slave?"
Tyrion: "...long enough to know."
Missandei: "Not long enough to understand." (Witty Insult)
Missandei: "How many days were you a slave?"
Tyrion: "...long enough to know."
Missandei: "Not long enough to understand." (Witty Insult)
16:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion, in Valyrian: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
Missandei: "Perhaps I should translate for you." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Perhaps I should translate for you." (Funny Line)
30:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that."
(Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
31:47
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*"
(Funny Line)
7:24
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Sam: "I told them I met you in the North."
Gilly: "Did you tell them how far north?"
Sam: "Well, it wasn't a very large piece of parchment..." (Funny Line)
Gilly: "Did you tell them how far north?"
Sam: "Well, it wasn't a very large piece of parchment..." (Funny Line)
9:57
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
26:24
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "I have tried wine before. It made me feel funny."
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Two translators are on a sinking ship. The first says, 'Do you know how to swim?' The second says, 'No, but I can shout for help in 19 languages.'"
Tyrion: *feigned laughter*
Grey Worm: "That is the worst joke I ever heard." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: *feigned laughter*
Grey Worm: "That is the worst joke I ever heard." (Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)
9:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "Our Queen insists that one of you must die as punishment for your crimes."
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
26:44
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
27:09
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
29:43
(+3)
Samwell Tarly:
Citadel receptionist: "This is irregular."
Samwell: "Yes, well... I suppose that... life is irregular." (Funny Line)
Samwell: "Yes, well... I suppose that... life is irregular." (Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
23:19
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:46
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
9:05
(+5)
Samwell Tarly:
After vomiting from his sea-sickness, Sam drinks from a wineskin of fermented pepto-bismol given to him by Gilly.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:06
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:08
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
13:28
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:13
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Grey Worm drinks his first cup of wine. Tyrion: "Here's to our Queen. Anyone not drinking is disrespecting our Queen."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Grey Worm drinks in the Meereenese council room, as Tyrion toasts: "Here's to our Queen. Anyone not drinking is disrespecting our Queen."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:23
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
17:17
(+10)
Lancel Lannister:
Lancel Lannister is lured into the King's Landing underground where he is stabbed by one of Qyburn's little birds. Finding a cache of wildfire, he is too late to stop the candles from burning down and igniting it, engulfing him in the explosion.
(Death)
Special
Tyrion references Varys' eunuch status in his comeback.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Special)
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Special)
29:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion gives a coin to the Meereenese homeless woman and her baby to feed themselves.
(Special)
After getting some R&R from hands-on fighting Grey Worm and hitting the books (his pet name for Missandei), Grey Worm shows off his expanding vocabulary with his first ever three-syllable words in the Westerosi common tongue.
in Meereenese council meeting: "We are searching for the men who burned the ships, but *nobody* saw *anything*." (Special)
in Meereenese council meeting: "We are searching for the men who burned the ships, but *nobody* saw *anything*." (Special)
submitted by shmcguire (approved!)
Varys just can't get away from the eunuch references after he judgmentally stares at Tyrion downing another cup of wine.
Tyrion: "If I lost my cock, I'd drink all the time. *looks at Greyworm* ...meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes." (Special)
Tyrion: "If I lost my cock, I'd drink all the time. *looks at Greyworm* ...meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes." (Special)
submitted by alexander.hilton91 (approved!)
Grey Worm with the second episode in a row with a three-syllable word:
"We conquered Astapor and Yunkai once. We will do it again and *execute* the Masters." (Special)
"We conquered Astapor and Yunkai once. We will do it again and *execute* the Masters." (Special)
Grey Worm remarks on the arriving slave masters from Yunkai and Astapor. "You invite the *enemy* into our city... I don't make peace with the Queen's *enemies*, I kill the Queen's *enemies*."
(Special)
Astapor slave master: "We came here to meet the Queen, and instead we're greeted by a dwarf and a eunuch."
(Special)
Missandei: "...hundreds of thousands of men, women, and children still lived in chains-"
Razdal mo Eraz: "As they have since the dawn of time."
Grey Worm: "Not *anymore*". (Special)
Razdal mo Eraz: "As they have since the dawn of time."
Grey Worm: "Not *anymore*". (Special)
submitted by asherbigs (approved!)
in Valyrian to the former slaves: "I do not trust them (the slave mastesr). I will never trust them. ... but as a wise man once said, 'We make peace with our enemies, not out friends'."
(Special)
to Tyrion: "I am loyal to my Queen, not you. If you betray her work, you are my *enemy*."
(Special)
to Tyrion: "You don't know them (the slave masters), you don't *understand* them. We are not human in their eyes."
(Special)
High Priestess Kinvara talks to Varys about his castration.
"If not for your... mutilation at the hand of a second-rate sorcerer, you wouldn't be here. Helping the Lord's Chosen bring his light into the world... Do you remember what you heard that night when the sorcerer tossed your parts in the fire?" (Special)
"If not for your... mutilation at the hand of a second-rate sorcerer, you wouldn't be here. Helping the Lord's Chosen bring his light into the world... Do you remember what you heard that night when the sorcerer tossed your parts in the fire?" (Special)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Special)
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Special)
submitted by alexanderdropkin (approved!)
After Tyrion's joke during the Meereenese council meeting.
Tyrion: "...it's funnier in Westeros."
Greyworm: "The Starks and the Lannisters. I thought these were *enemies*." (Special)
Tyrion: "...it's funnier in Westeros."
Greyworm: "The Starks and the Lannisters. I thought these were *enemies*." (Special)
submitted by taylorreneegoodrich (approved!)