All Bronn No Brain

Game of Phones

Owner: juscal13

61 roto pts (#6)
Z-Score: 0.228 (percentile: 59.02%)
Weeks at #1: 1
Categories won:
Best Week: Episode 2: Stormborn (+11.5 roto points)
Team MVP: Euron Greyjoy (picked #14, 113 points, 73.38% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
#14 113 35 30 33 0 0 0 0 15 0
Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.
#35 14 0 6 3 0 0 0 5 0 0
One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She's into whips.
#38 13 3 0 3 0 0 0 7 0 0
#86 7 1 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
A representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, a powerful bank who holds a large sum of debt from the Iron Throne.
#62 6 0 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
#11 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
A new prostitute employed in the brothels of Littlefinger.
#83 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Samwell Tarly's mother.
#59 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 154 40 45 42 0 0 0 12 15 0

Roster

charId Character Special
9
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
* Scores every time she mentions the "oath" or "vow" she swore to serve the Starks. * Scores every time someone references her size/masculinity/attractiveness.
216
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
+1 when he or his Ironborn is referenced as the "greatest" (including self-references)
+1 for crude sexual remarks made about women he is courting
221
Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.
189
One of Oberyn Martell's bastards, known as Sand Snakes. She's into whips.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
213
Samwell Tarly's mother.
95
A representative of the Iron Bank of Braavos, a powerful bank who holds a large sum of debt from the Iron Throne.
184
A new prostitute employed in the brothels of Littlefinger.
269
Kills
Episode 2: Stormborn
Euron crushes a Greyjoy soldier with the landing bridge, as he makes his entrance aboard Yara's ship, and then immediately cuts down another. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron parries a blow, and then slices up a Greyjoy soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron cleaves down an Ironborn soldier, then sticks his axe into the head of another before getting caught by Nymeria Sand's whip. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron stabs Obara through the stomach with the shards of her own broken spear. (Kill of Named Character)
Nymeria stabs an Ironborn, only to turn around to see her sister Obara being killed. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
In a fury after witnessing her sister Obara's death, Nymeria whip-grabbles Euron Greyjoy, spinning closer to slice him across the leg with her dagger. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Euron bests Nymeria Sand, blocking her dagger and then strangling her with her own whip. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron kills an intervening soldier after he and Yara begin their head-to-head fight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron's axe finds an unsuspecting soldier that Yara uses as a human shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron bests Yara in single combat, taking his bloodied niece captive. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Brienne beats lucky man Podrick badly in a sparring session at Winterfell, before Arya Stark inerrupts.

Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place."
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After Theon challenges his crew to sail on a mission to rescue Yara, Harrag decks Theon, beating him bloody on the beaches of Dragonstone. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Euron sails into King's Landing with his shiny new Iron Fleet, rebuilt after Yara stole the existing fleet following his coronation. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara and Theon Greyjoy, and their competing claims to lead the Ironborn, are eliminated as Euron captures Yara and forces Theon to flee after successfully ambushing their fleet. (Rivals Eliminated)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Ellaria and Tyene Sand are taken prisoner by Euron's Ironborn. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Euron bests Yara in single combat and taunts Theon into running away, taking his niece captive. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Euron succesfully ambushes Yara Greyjoy's fleet, burning most of her ships and taking Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene Sand as prisoners. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Tycho Nestoris reaches an agreement on behalf of the Iron Bank to grant Cersei an extension on the Iron Throne's loans, after Cersei convinces him that the alternative of "investing" in Daenerys Targaryen's regime would be unwise. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
With his succesful destruction of Yara Greyjoy's fleet and the "gift" of the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand, Euron wins over Cersei and convinces her to ally with his Ironborn and accept his marriage proposal. (Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Harrag's ship discovers the fate of Theon as he picks him up out of the rubble and water after Euron's attack on Yara's fleet. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him as the head of the navy of the Seven Kindgoms. (New Title)
As the Unsullied are busy attacking Casterly Rock, Euron's Iron Fleet ambushes their ships, destroying the Unsullied navy and cutting off any sea-based escape route in the process.

Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros."
(Victorious Battle)
Randyll Tarly becomes Warden of the South, having accepted Jaime's previous offer to rebel against the Tyrells as he rides with the Lannister army in the attack on Highgarden. (New Title)
Randyll Tarly betrays the Tyrells, to whom he is a sworn bannerman, siding with Lannisters and marching with their army in in the attack on Highgarden. (Act of Betrayal)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Cersei confirms the closure of the previously negotiated deal with the Iron Bank and the repayment of outstanding debts: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Jaime: "The people I was cutting down were your own kin."
Euron: "The place was getting crowded."
(Funny Line)
submitted by hsackman2146 (approved!)
When he said to Jamie and Cersei, ".... with two good hands." Making a joke of Jamie having lost one his hands. (Witty Insult)
submitted by Th3 JaBBeRWoCK (approved!)
Cersei: "You murdered your own brother."
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful."
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Euron sarcastically and disparagingly to Yara as he approaches her to cut her down: "Give your uncle a kiss" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
"I'm a Tarly. That name means something. We're not oathbreakers. We're not schemers. We don't stab our rivals in the back or cut their throats at weddings." (Witty Insult)
submitted by peggypcwu (approved!)
Tyene Sand: "Maybe I'll kill you both before we take King's Landing. And then I won't have to share."
Obara and Nymeria: "(baby voice) Mammmaaa!"
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know". (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Theon Greyjoy: "I couldn't save her (Yara). I tried."
Harrag: "You wouldn't be here, if you tried."
(Witty Insult)
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really."
(Threat)
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Tyrion: "I think we ought to begin with larger concerns."
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here."
(Witty Insult)
Deaths
Episode 2: Stormborn
Nymeria is bested by Euron Greyjoy, who blocks her dagger and strangles her with her own whip. (Death)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After refusing to bend the knee, Randyll is burned to ashes by Drogon's dragonfire alongside his son Dickon.

Daenerys: "Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Death)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
While responding to Jaime about him fleeing after the Greyjoy Rebellion: "If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be the greatest captain of the fourteen seas" (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei: "You've proven yourself the greatest captain of the Fourteen Seas." (Special)
The Feels
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:

Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)