SCV Whoresmith
Rosyliferiders
Owner: benjaminboyd92
25 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score:
1.443 (percentile: 92.57%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (159), Special (42)
Best Week:
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
(+3 roto points)
Team MVP:
Jon Snow
(picked #3,
165 points,
33.47% of team total)
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
39 |
Jon Snow
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
|
* +1 each time he unintentionally drops Longclaw * +1 point each time he is called a bastard in his presence * Ghost's actions contribute to his points. |
17 |
Tyrion Lannister
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
|
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender) |
7 |
Bran Stark
The fourth of the Stark children. A greenseer and a warg, Bran has mystical visions of the future and past, and has the ability to leap into the minds of others to control them - power he is only beginning to tap into. After having encountered the Three-Eyed Raven and the Night King in the far north, he now flees back south to the Wall.
|
* Bran introducing himself into a scene by creepily staring at people * Summer's actions contribute to his points * Scores points for each scene where he breaks out of his tree-trance and shows any of the following emotions: sadness (visible tears), happiness (audible laughter or smiles with teeth), fear (audible screams) * Scores points for each instance he uses his Warg ability |
9 |
Brienne of Tarth
A skilled fighter and heir to House Tarth. After swearing an oath to Catelyn Stark, she continues her mission to ensure the safety of the Stark girls.
|
* Scores every time she mentions the "oath" or "vow" she swore to serve the Starks. * Scores every time someone references her size/masculinity/attractiveness. |
38 |
Grey Worm
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
|
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.) * Receives standard sex points for making it to first base |
23 |
Bronn
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He has accompanied Jaime Lannister on his missions to Dorne and Riverrun.
|
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy |
50 |
Davos Seaworth
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
|
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced * +1 point when invoking Shireen's name |
91 |
Ellaria Sand
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death. After assassinating Prince Doran and overtaking Dorne, she joins forces with Daenerys Targaryen as she sails west to retake the Iron Throne.
|
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell |
Kills
Jon chokes a creeping Littlefinger against a wall in the Crypts of Winterfell. "Talk to my sister, and I'll kill you myself."
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Leading the Unsullied, Grey Worm stabs two Lannister soldiers while charging the stairs, and smashes two more with his shield.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
28:28
(+1)
Brienne of Tarth:
Brienne beats lucky man Podrick badly in a sparring session at Winterfell, before Arya Stark inerrupts.
Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Brienne: "Don't lunge."
Brienne: "Don't go where your enemy leads you."
Brienne: "And don't-"
Arya: "Don't fight someone like her in the first place." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Bronn unsheathes a sword out of the torso of an impaled, flailing Lannister soldier, inflicting the fatal damage on the way out.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield to make his way over to the Scorpion, cutting down two Dothraki screamers with the sword he takes from the torso of an impaled Lannister soldier.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Bronn blows away the Dothraki screamer with a bolt from the Scorpion.
(Kill of Named Character)
After a miss on his first shot, Bronn strikes a bolt from the Scorpio into Drogon's right shoulder, sending him spiraling out of control and forcing Daenerys to the ground.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
After dodging a blow, Jon slices through the White Walker leading the scouting party with Longclaw, shattering it to pieces.
(Kill of Named Character)
7 of the wights in the scouting party disintegrate after Jon kills the White Walker leading them.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jon cuts down 17 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group, up until Daenerys and her dragons arrive.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jon realizes he is currently only 4th place on the Kills leaderboard, and climbs back down off of Drogon to score 10 more wight kills in garbage time, as all the others wisely get onboard.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jon Snow cuts down four wights after witnessing Viseron's death, before realizing that trying to cut his way to the Night King for a 1v1 was a terrible idea and that he should really get back to the dragon evac.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
8:18
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran Stark uses his knowledge about the battle at Hardhome to convince Eddison Tollet to grant him and Meera Reed passage into Castle Black.
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by Ser Vincent (approved!)
Jon refuses to strip the Umbers and Karstarks of their castles for Smalljon and Harald's treasonous siding with Ramsay Bolton, despite the objections from Sansa and the other Northern lords.
"...I will not punish a son for his father's sins, and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries.
That is my decision, and my decision is final." (Executive Decision)
"...I will not punish a son for his father's sins, and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries.
That is my decision, and my decision is final." (Executive Decision)
Jon receives pledges of loyalty from Ned Umber and Alys Karstark, the new heads of their respective houses after Smalljon Umber and Harald Karstark died in the Battle of Winterfell.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
0:00
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos suggests that Daenerys's dragons will be a powerful asset against the fight against the wights, and suggests allying with her, despite Sansa's protests. Ultimately, Jon decides to personally travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, citing Davos' arguments in his appeal to the Northern Lords.
"What breathes fire?" ... "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"
(Convincing Argument)
"What breathes fire?" ... "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
10:18
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character."
(Convincing Argument)
20:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion's earlier advice wins over Daenerys, as she opts for a slower, more politically-calculated siege rather than the violent direct-assault on King's Landing advocated by her Westerosi allies. "I am not here to be Queen of the Ashes."
(Convincing Argument)
Jon Snow decides that he must go to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, despite objections from Sansa and nearly all the Northern lords. "Daenerys is a Queen. Only a King could convince her to help us. It has to be me."
(Executive Decision)
36:48
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After Jon Snow resigns himself to giving up on an alliance with Daenerys and returning to the North empty-handed, Tyrion convinces him to stay and find a compromise deal, leading him to ask for the dragonglass.
Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you." (Convincing Argument)
38:53
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to give Jon Snow the dragonglass as a gesture of good faith with the North. "Let him mine the Dragonglass. If he's wrong, it's worthless. You didn't even know it was here. It's nothing to you. Give him something by giving him nothing. Take a step toward a more productive relationship with a possible ally."
(Convincing Argument)
Daenerys grants the cache of Dragonglass to Jon: "I will allow you to mine the Dragonglass and forge weapons from it. Any resources or men you need, I will provide for you."
(New Weapon)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
7:56
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran receives Lord Baelish's Valyrian steel dagger, which was used in an attempt to assassinate him in Season 1.
Petyr Baelish: "This is for you. The last man who wielded meant to cut your throat, but your mother fought him off." (New Weapon)
Petyr Baelish: "This is for you. The last man who wielded meant to cut your throat, but your mother fought him off." (New Weapon)
Jon reveals the ancient petroglyphs carved into the obsidian cave at Dragonstone, showing the Children of the Forest and the First Men fighting together against the White Walkers.
"There is something else I want to show you, Your Grace. The children of the forest made these. ... A very long time ago. They were right here, standing where we're standing. Before there were Targaryens or Starks or Lannisters. ... They were here together, the children and the First Men.
... They fought together against their common enemy. Despite their differences, despite their suspicions. Together. We need to do the same if we're going to survive. Because the enemy is real. It's always been real." (Secret Discovery)
"There is something else I want to show you, Your Grace. The children of the forest made these. ... A very long time ago. They were right here, standing where we're standing. Before there were Targaryens or Starks or Lannisters. ... They were here together, the children and the First Men.
... They fought together against their common enemy. Despite their differences, despite their suspicions. Together. We need to do the same if we're going to survive. Because the enemy is real. It's always been real." (Secret Discovery)
Bronn arrives to the wagon and unveils the Scorpion, a high-powered dragon-killing ballista.
(New Weapon)
Gendry enthusiastically pledges to follow Jon Snow beyond the Wall to take on the White Walkers.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
19:47
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran discovers the location of the Night King and the army of the dead, marching towards Eastwatch. "Ravens. We need to send ravens."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
25:34
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:
Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)
Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)
Over Davos' and Daenerys' protests, Jon decides that he'll personally lead the expedition north of the Wall to capture a wight.
Davos Seaworth: "You can't lead a raid beyond the Wall. You're not in the Night's Watch anymore, you're King in the North."
Jon: "I'm the only one here who's fought them. I'm the only one here who knows them."
Daenerys: "I haven't given you permission to leave."
Jon: "With respect, Your Grace, I don't need your permission. I am a King." (Executive Decision)
Davos Seaworth: "You can't lead a raid beyond the Wall. You're not in the Night's Watch anymore, you're King in the North."
Jon: "I'm the only one here who's fought them. I'm the only one here who knows them."
Daenerys: "I haven't given you permission to leave."
Jon: "With respect, Your Grace, I don't need your permission. I am a King." (Executive Decision)
Bronn finds Tyrion in the dungeons below the Red Keep, later arranging a secret meeting between him and Jaime.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
34:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel."
(Secret Discovery)
35:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
41:13
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Jon silences the squabbling in the Eastwatch cells and recruits the prisoners into his expedition.
Jon: "He's right. We're all on the same side."
Gendry: "How can we be?"
Jon: "We're all breathing." (Convincing Argument)
Jon: "He's right. We're all on the same side."
Gendry: "How can we be?"
Jon: "We're all breathing." (Convincing Argument)
Jon Snow and his crew successfully ambush the White Walker scouting party, killing the leader and capturing the live wight they were looking for.
(Victorious Battle)
In what is universally regarded as a terrible idea by all sides, Jon single-handedly dissolves the Lannister-Targaryen truce in the name of honor and hopefully getting into Daenerys' pants later.
Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen." (Executive Decision)
Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen." (Executive Decision)
36:50
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant.
(Secret Discovery)
40:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.
Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you." (Convincing Argument)
Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you." (Convincing Argument)
40:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jon convinces Daenerys to sail with him to the North, rather than flying on her own.
"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message." (Convincing Argument)
"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message." (Convincing Argument)
57:44
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran reveals his knowledge of Littlefinger's actions in King's Landing.
Sansa Stark: "Do you deny it?"
Petyr Baelish: "I deny it! None of you were there to see what happened. None of you knows the truth."
Bran: "You held a knife to his throat. You said, 'I did warn you not the trust me.'" (Secret Discovery)
Sansa Stark: "Do you deny it?"
Petyr Baelish: "I deny it! None of you were there to see what happened. None of you knows the truth."
Bran: "You held a knife to his throat. You said, 'I did warn you not the trust me.'" (Secret Discovery)
69:44
(+3)
Bran Stark:
At Sam Tarly's prompting, Bran wargs into the past to witness the secret wedding ceremony between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, confirming Jon Snow's trueborn lineage and rightful claim to the Iron Throne.
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Sansa Stark: "They respect you, they really do, but you have to- Why are you laughing?"
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit." (Witty Insult)
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit." (Witty Insult)
submitted by andrei.sias (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos' comments on the letter from Tyrion: "Sounds like a charmer. Casual mention of a Dothraki horde, a legion of Unsullied, and 3 dragons - a bit less charming."
(Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
10:18
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character."
(Funny Line)
49:42
(+3)
Ellaria Sand:
to Theon, as she gets between Yara's legs: "Why are you standing all the way over there then? The foreign invasion is underway."
(Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
calling back to Bronn's quote about the Eyrie: "Give me ten good men, and I'll impregnate the bitch"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Tyrion: "She's much smarter than she lets on."
Jon: "She's starting to let on." (Funny Line)
Jon: "She's starting to let on." (Funny Line)
9:39
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow." (Funny Line)
Davos: "This is Jon Snow." (Funny Line)
Daenerys Targaryen: "Did you see three dragons flying overhead when you arrived? ... and did you see the Dothraki, all of whom have sworn to kill for me?"
Jon: "They're hard to miss." (Funny Line)
Jon: "They're hard to miss." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
34:07
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing."
(Funny Line)
35:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister."
(Witty Insult)
37:50
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature."
(Funny Line)
38:14
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here. (Funny Line)
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here. (Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran interrupts Littlefinger's meddling mind games as soon as Littlefinger mentions chaos with a comeback that leaves Littlefinger speechless and his underpants soiled: "Chaos is a ladder"
(Threat)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Jaime to Bronn: Besides think of the upkeep, the more you own the more it weighs you down.
Bronn To Jaime: Is that why you're so glum eh? All your new riches weighing you down? (Witty Insult)
Bronn To Jaime: Is that why you're so glum eh? All your new riches weighing you down? (Witty Insult)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
to Jaime: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
(Witty Insult)
27:05
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "What kind of a Queen am I if I'm not willing to risk my life to fight them."
Tyrion: "A smart one." (Comeback)
Tyrion: "A smart one." (Comeback)
31:59
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart." (Funny Line)
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart." (Funny Line)
32:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:
Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?" (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
32:30
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?" (Funny Line)
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?" (Funny Line)
32:30
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating." (Funny Line)
Davos: "That sounds... liberating." (Funny Line)
33:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" (Funny Line)
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
to Dickon Tarly: "Men shit themselves when they die, didn't they teach you that at fancy lad school?"
(Witty Insult)
to Jaime: "Listen to me, cunt. Until I get what I'm owed, a dragon doesn't get to kill you. You don't get to kill you. Only I get to kill you."
(Funny Line)
Jaime: "That was only one of them. She has two more. If she decides to use them, to really use them-"
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "You're fucked."
Jaime: "Don't you mean we're fucked?"
Bronn: "No, I do not." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Dragons are where our partnership ends. I'm not gonna be around when those things start spitting fire on King's Landing."
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "I have to tell Cersei."
Bronn: "May as well jump back in that river." (Funny Line)
Jon and Daenerys discuss her dragons.
Daenerys: "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Jon: "It wasn't the word I was thinking of, but... but, yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts." (Funny Line)
Daenerys: "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Jon: "It wasn't the word I was thinking of, but... but, yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts." (Funny Line)
24:16
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
31:25
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps."
(Funny Line)
31:41
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "We don't have time for this, we should be preparing the city for a siege. The Dothraki are coming."
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "All the more reason for you to train. Unless you plan on fighting Dothraki twelve-year-olds." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Why (do swordfight training) down here?"
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "I don't think you want people to see how you look swinging that thing yet." (Witty Insult)
32:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)
34:48
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing."
(Funny Line)
35:11
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
37:33
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
37:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
38:32
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail."
(Funny Line)
39:06
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion)
(Funny Line)
39:11
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)
39:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.
Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)
Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)
44:38
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
44:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm."
(Witty Insult)
54:17
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Tormund Giantsbane: "I can breathe again. Down south the air smells like pigshit."
Jon Snow: "You've never been down south."
Tormund: "I've been to Winterfell."
Jon: "That's the North." (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "You've never been down south."
Tormund: "I've been to Winterfell."
Jon: "That's the North." (Funny Line)
19:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance." (Funny Line)
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't." (Funny Line)
Bronn breaks up the Podrick and Tyrion reunion
Podrick: "I never thought I'd see you again, my lord."
Tyrion: "Supporting the enemy, no less."
Podrick: "Hard to blame you."
Tyrion: 'Cersei will anyway."
Podrick: "I'm glad you're alive."
Bronn: "Come on. You can suck his magic cock later." (Witty Insult)
Podrick: "I never thought I'd see you again, my lord."
Tyrion: "Supporting the enemy, no less."
Podrick: "Hard to blame you."
Tyrion: 'Cersei will anyway."
Podrick: "I'm glad you're alive."
Bronn: "Come on. You can suck his magic cock later." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lannister: "Are you? Helping me to arrange this meeting wasn't exactly looking after yourself, was it? You put yourself at risk."
Bronn: "I put yourself at risk. Important difference. It's your head Queen Cersei's offered a bag of gold for, it's not mine. Now, thanks to me, she's got two traitors' heads coming right through her door. She can lop them both off as soon as she gets tired of the clever words that pour out their pieholes. All thanks to Ser Bronn of the fucking Blackwater. If that's not looking after myself, I don't know what is." (Threat)
Bronn: "I put yourself at risk. Important difference. It's your head Queen Cersei's offered a bag of gold for, it's not mine. Now, thanks to me, she's got two traitors' heads coming right through her door. She can lop them both off as soon as she gets tired of the clever words that pour out their pieholes. All thanks to Ser Bronn of the fucking Blackwater. If that's not looking after myself, I don't know what is." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
13:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through." (Witty Insult)
28:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?"
(Witty Insult)
28:49
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked." (Funny Line)
29:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you." (Funny Line)
32:02
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
48:30
(+5)
Ellaria Sand:
Ellaria tries out the beverages stocked by the Greyjoy fleet. "How can you drink this piss? When we reach Sunspear I'll treat you to a Dornish Red, the best in the world."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
23:03
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:11
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
20:15
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
34:26
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:24
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Grey Worm kisses Missandei after confessing that she is his one weakness.
(Act of Intercourse)
Grey Worm gets with Missandei on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock.
(Act of Intercourse)
Special
7:33
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran taps into his warg ability as he waits at the gate to Castle Black.
(Special)
Sansa reading Tyrion's letter to Jon Snow: "All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes."
(Special)
20:18
(+3)
Ellaria Sand:
to Tyrion: "My greatest regret is that Oberyn died fighting for you."
(Special)
Tyrion Lannister greets Jon on his arrival at Dragonstone: "The Bastard of Winterfell."
(Special)
4:24
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion Lannister greets Ser Davos on his arrival to Dragonstone: "Ah, the Onion Knight"
(Special)
Davos Seaworth: "He was named King in the North. Not because of his birthright. He has no birthright. He's a damn bastard."
(Special)
Missandei: "Forgive me, but may I ask a question? ... Your name is Jon Snow, but your father's name is Ned Stark?"
Jon Snow: "I'm a bastard. My mother and father weren't married." (Special)
Jon Snow: "I'm a bastard. My mother and father weren't married." (Special)
Bronn: "Get back to King's Landing."
Jaime Lannister: "I'm not abandoning my army."
Bronn: "You're the commander, not a damn infantryman. Those fuckers are about to swamp us." (Special)
Jaime Lannister: "I'm not abandoning my army."
Bronn: "You're the commander, not a damn infantryman. Those fuckers are about to swamp us." (Special)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
18:35
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran wargs into a flock of ravens to fly beyond Eastwatch-by-the-Sea and scout out the White Walker army.
(Special)
45:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion hands the sentimental slaver's coin to Jorah, reminiscing briefly on their slave days in Meereen before Mormont leaves for Eastwatch.
(Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Jon Snow drops Longclaw on the frozen ice sheet after he is tackled under water by the wights during the dragon evacuation.
(Special)
Bran reviews the defensive preparations for Daenerys' armed arrival to King's Landing.
Bronn: "Oil?"
Lannister soldier: "Pitch, my lord."
Bronn: "How many barrels?"
Soldier: "500, my lord."
Bronn: "Get 500 more." (Special)
Bronn: "Oil?"
Lannister soldier: "Pitch, my lord."
Bronn: "How many barrels?"
Soldier: "500, my lord."
Bronn: "Get 500 more." (Special)
69:44
(+3)
Bran Stark:
At Sam Tarly's prompting, Bran wargs into the past to witness the secret wedding ceremony between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark.
(Special)
74:26
(+3)
Bran Stark:
Bran wargs by the weirwood tree, controlling a flock of ravens flying over Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.
(Special)
The Feels
20:20
(+0)
Brienne of Tarth:
While watching on as the living Stark children together in the courtyard of Winterfell:
Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Podrick: "Catelyn Stark would be proud. You've kept your vow."
Brienne: "I did next to nothing."
Podrick: "You're too hard on yourself, My Lady."
Brienne: "I'm not- ...thank you, Podrick." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon.
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
45:28
(+0)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
34:54
(+0)
Tyrion Lannister:
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism.
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)