Cerseiously?
Deadpool
Owner: christian.marcos
3-4, 32 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score:
0.102 (percentile: 54.08%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Acts of Intercourse (80)
Best Week:
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
(+6 roto points)
Team MVP:
Cersei Lannister
(picked #1,
140 points,
43.75% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-2
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 18 |
Cersei Lannister
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
|
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured * +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
| 28 |
Gregor Clegane (The Mountain)
A knight and the head of House Clegane, he serves as a member of the Kingsguard and Cersei's personal muscle. He is a massive and impossibly strong warrior, although he remains speechless and zombie-like ever since being wounded in a Trial by Combat against Oberyn Martell.
|
* Scores for any kills of non-combatants * Scores for each sentence spoken * Interacting with bowls |
| 32 |
Jorah Mormont
The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys Targaryen's most trusted advisors before his banishment and subsequent infection with the fatal greyscale disease. As Daenerys leaves for Westeros, he wanders Essos in search of a cure.
|
* +1 point when he explains to someone he has Greyscale * +1 point in each scene that Jorah serves as an encyclopedia for Essos culture. * +1 point each time Daenerys convinces him to go on a mission / do something that doesn't involve being anywhere around her (friendzone) |
| 38 |
Grey Worm
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
|
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.) * Receives standard sex points for making it to first base |
| 37 |
Missandei
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
|
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates. |
| 195 |
Septa Unella
A Septa who took exceptional pleasure in torturing Cersei Lannister while she was a prisoner of the Sparrows, ringing the shame! shame! shame! bell as she made her walk of atonement. She is now held as a prisoner of Cersei.
|
+1 point for each bell ringing (S6 onwards) |
| 91 |
Ellaria Sand
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death. After assassinating Prince Doran and overtaking Dorne, she joins forces with Daenerys Targaryen as she sails west to retake the Iron Throne.
|
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell |
| 104 |
Hot Pie
An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.
|
+1 point for every baked good or other food he prepares |
Kills
0:00
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Leading the Unsullied, Grey Worm stabs two Lannister soldiers while charging the stairs, and smashes two more with his shield.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
26:47
(+10)
Jorah Mormont:
As the wight bear mauls a helpless Thoros, Jorah runs in to stab it with his dragonglass dagger, killing the bear and saving Thoros.
(Kill of Named Character)
32:57
(+2)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah slices across a wight during the attack on the White Walker scouting party.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
47:20
(+52)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah cuts down 26 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
22:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift.
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Hot Pie learns that Arya Stark is back in Westeros after recognizing her at the inn.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by EvanWolfe (approved!)
19:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed."
(New Weapon)
22:34
(+6)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
23:28
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
30:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
33:09
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
Missandei convinces Daenerys against flying out herself to hunt down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet.
Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow." (Convincing Argument)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
11:49
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
12:57
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
41:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
40:55
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah figures out that the White Walkers have some kind of hive-like control over the wight.
"When you killed the White Walker, almost all the dead that followed it fell. We can go for the Walkers. Maybe we'll stand a chance." (Secret Discovery)
"When you killed the White Walker, almost all the dead that followed it fell. We can go for the Walkers. Maybe we'll stand a chance." (Secret Discovery)
62:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
62:50
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
63:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
64:12
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
49:42
(+3)
Ellaria Sand:
to Theon, as she gets between Yara's legs: "Why are you standing all the way over there then? The foreign invasion is underway."
(Funny Line)
28:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
7:44
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit."
(Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
19:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
27:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you."
(Threat)
61:07
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
20:52
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:45
(+5)
Jorah Mormont:
Jorah drinks the rum given to him by Samwell, as he braces himself to undergo the experimental Greyscale procedure.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:30
(+5)
Ellaria Sand:
Ellaria tries out the beverages stocked by the Greyjoy fleet. "How can you drink this piss? When we reach Sunspear I'll treat you to a Dornish Red, the best in the world."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
28:15
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:24
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
6:40
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Grey Worm kisses Missandei after confessing that she is his one weakness.
(Act of Intercourse)
Missandei gets with Grey Worm on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock.
(Act of Intercourse)
Grey Worm gets with Missandei on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock.
(Act of Intercourse)
30:30
(+40)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime.
(Act of Intercourse)
Special
20:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death.
(Special)
23:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by adamjfallon (approved!)
Missandei gives a lesson on Valyrian gendered pronouns in ancient prophecies: "Your Grace, forgive me, but your translation is not quite accurate. That noun has no gender in High Valyrian, so proper translation for that prophecy would be 'the prince or princess who was promised will bring the dawn'.
(Special)
20:18
(+3)
Ellaria Sand:
to Tyrion: "My greatest regret is that Oberyn died fighting for you."
(Special)
Arya meets Hot Pie at the Crossroads Inn, where he has baked up 4 on-screen pies: the Jorah special being eaten by two unnamed characters, Arya's pie, and two more left on the serving tray.
(Special)
31:03
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
6:35
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
17:18
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Qhono?: "This man says he is your friend, Khaleesi."
Daenerys: "He is my friend." (Special)
Daenerys: "He is my friend." (Special)
17:42
(+3)
Jorah Mormont:
Upon his return to Dragonstone, Jorah is introduced to the new Daario: "Jon Snow, this is Ser Jorah Mormont, an old friend."
(Special)
The Feels
45:28
(+0)
Jorah Mormont:
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
45:47
(+0)
Jorah Mormont:
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.
Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact) (Warm Fuzzy Moment)