Matchup: Find Incest Alternatives vs Brianne Or Bust for Ep 1
OMGoT LOL
Kills
27:15
(+2)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon kills a member of Euron's crew as he leads a squad of Ironborn on a rescue mission to save his sister Yara Greyjoy.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by kevinreading66 (approved!)
27:34
(+2)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon throws an axe into the skull of the Ironborn soldier guarding Yara Greyjoy.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
27:57
(+1)
Yara Greyjoy:
As thanks for her rescue, Yara headbutts Theon, bloodying his nose.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
20:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei gains the sellsword services of the Golden Company.
Cersei: "In any event, you are most welcome here in King's Landing, Captain Strickland."
Harry Stickland: "We look forward to fighting on your behalf, Your Grace." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Cersei: "In any event, you are most welcome here in King's Landing, Captain Strickland."
Harry Stickland: "We look forward to fighting on your behalf, Your Grace." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
20:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Along with the Golden Company, Cersei gains their Captain Harry Strickland as a follower.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Tormund and the Night's Watch discovers the grisly scene at the Last Hearth, where the White Walkers have massacred the inhabits.
(Victorious Battle)
Tormund and the Night's Watch discovers the grisly scene at the Last Hearth, where the White Walkers have massacred the inhabits.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
27:53
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
After sneaking aboard Euron's ship, Theon frees his sister Yara.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
29:01
(+3)
Yara Greyjoy:
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
(House Words)
29:07
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die." (House Words)
Theon: "What is dead may never die." (House Words)
Rhaegal accepts Jon as a dragonrider as they take flight for the first time.
Jon: "I don't know how to ride a dragon."
Daenerys: "Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jon: "I don't know how to ride a dragon."
Daenerys: "Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Sandor receives a massive dragonglass battleaxe forged by Gendry, and thanks him with insults.
"You know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers - which one are you?" (New Weapon)
"You know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers - which one are you?" (New Weapon)
Jon finds out his true lineage as the trueborn son of Rhaegaer Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, and potentially the rightful King of the Seven Kingdoms.
Sam: "I had a High Septon's diary. Bran had... whatever Bran has. ... Your mother was Lyanna Stark. And your father - your real father - was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a bastard. You're Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne." (Secret Discovery)
Sam: "I had a High Septon's diary. Bran had... whatever Bran has. ... Your mother was Lyanna Stark. And your father - your real father - was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a bastard. You're Aegon Targaryen, true heir to the Iron Throne." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by cereith717 (approved!)
The Night King has Ned Umber reanimated as a wight in the ruins of the Last Hearth.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
6:22
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys as they arrive in a frigid Winterfell: "You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off."
(Funny Line)
12:40
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Sansa: "What do dragons eat, anyway?"
Daenerys: "Whatever they want." (Threat)
Daenerys: "Whatever they want." (Threat)
14:05
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
Tyrion: "Last time we spoke was at Joffrey's wedding. Miserable affair."
Sansa: "It had its moments." (Funny Line)
Sansa: "It had its moments." (Funny Line)
15:12
(+3)
Sansa Stark:
to Tyrion, for thinking Cersei would honor the agreement to support them with the Lannister Army: "I used to think you were the cleverest man alive."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by gravesalex0 (approved!)
29:51
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys (observing banners): "The Karstarks."
Tyrion: "One of the better sigils. Beats an onion, anyway." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "One of the better sigils. Beats an onion, anyway." (Funny Line)
30:59
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "Jon and Daenerys don't want to listen to lonely old men."
Tyrion: "I'm not that old... not as old as him (Davos Seaworth)." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I'm not that old... not as old as him (Davos Seaworth)." (Funny Line)
33:11
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
(before Jon rides Rhaegal)
Jon: "What if he doesn't want me to?"
Daenerys: "Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow" (Funny Line)
Jon: "What if he doesn't want me to?"
Daenerys: "Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow" (Funny Line)
submitted by krystataylor14 (approved!)
to Daenerys, after his first dragon flight with Rhaegal: "You've completely ruined horses for me."
(Funny Line)
Sandor thanks Gendry for his new battleaxe, forged from dragonglass.
"You know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers - which one are you?" (Witty Insult)
"You know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? Cripples and cocksuckers - which one are you?" (Witty Insult)
37:27
(+3)
Arya Stark:
The Hound: "You left me to die."
Arya: "First I robbed you." (Witty Insult)
Arya: "First I robbed you." (Witty Insult)
submitted by k.molseed (approved!)
"You're a cold little bitch aren't you? I guess that's why you're still alive."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by sweetsarah025 (approved!)
38:53
(+3)
Arya Stark:
Gendry: "I always knew you were just another rich girl."
Arya: "You don't know any other rich girls." (Witty Insult)
Arya: "You don't know any other rich girls." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
25:43
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei sips from her glass while Euron asks her about his performance in bed.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
25:25
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei chats with Euron after a romp in her chambers.
(Act of Intercourse)
A Game of Thrones
9:53
(+1)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa sits at the head of the table alongside Jon Snow as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell.
(Basic Seat)
9:53
(+1)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion sits at the head table to the side of Sansa and Jon Snow, as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell.
(Basic Seat)
Jon sits at the head of the table alongside Sansa as they host the Northern Lords at Winterfell.
(Basic Seat)
10:23
(+1)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys takes her seat at the head table in the great hall of Winterfell between Jon Snow and Tyrion.
(Basic Seat)
Jon Snow takes a seat after responding to Lyanna Mormont's call out.
"...when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North." (Basic Seat)
"...when I left Winterfell, I told you we need allies or we will die. I have brought those allies home to fight alongside us. I had a choice, keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North." (Basic Seat)
19:58
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei greets the captain of the Golden Company, Harry Strickland, from the Iron Throne.
(Iron Throne)
25:32
(+1)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei sits down with a glass of wine in her bedchambers after her session with Euron Greyjoy.
(Basic Seat)
39:21
(+1)
Sansa Stark:
Sansa sits in her chambers as she discusses the cowardice of Robbet Glover, who is not sending his troops.
(Basic Seat)
Special
5:14
(+3)
Daenerys Targaryen:
Daenerys debuts the season with a white double-breasted coat with matching red gloves and scarf. Even her horse is decked out to match!
(Special)
Tyrion, as he and Varys arrive to a frigid Winterfell: "You should consider yourself lucky. At least your balls won't freeze off."
(Special)
Varys: "You take great offense at dwarf jokes, but love telling eunuch jokes. Why is that?"
Tyrion: "Because I have balls... and you don't" (Special)
Tyrion: "Because I have balls... and you don't" (Special)
25:53
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron: "How do I compare? To the fat king."
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?" (Special)
Cersei: "Robert had a different whore every night, but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body."
Euron: "And the Kingslayer?" (Special)
Ned Umber is impaled on the wall of his keep, surrounded by a spiral of bloody body parts.
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
The Feels
Jon arrives back home to Winterfell and embraces Bran, as Jon sees him for the first time in 7 seasons.
Jon: "Look at you. You're a man."
Bran: "Almost." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jon: "Look at you. You're a man."
Bran: "Almost." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
16:00
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya and Jon finally reunite in the Godswood of Winterfell and compare their fancy swords.
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya and Jon finally reunite in the Godswood of Winterfell and compare their fancy swords.
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Arya: "I'm defending our family. And so is she (Sansa)."
Jon: "I'm her family too."
Arya: "Don't forget that." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
29:17
(+5)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon and Yara share an embrace before they part ways to fight their separate parts of the war.
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
29:17
(+5)
Yara Greyjoy:
Theon and Yara share an embrace before they part ways to fight their separate parts of the war.
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Yara: "You want to go to Wintefell. To fight for the Starks. Go. What is dead may never die."
Theon: "What is dead may never die."
Yara: "But kill the bastards anyway." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
36:04
(+5)
Daenerys Targaryen:
After Bran issues a dire warning to everyone that the White Walkers are coming and how they don't have any time for this, Jon and Dany take a romantic getaway to the frost-covered waterfall on dragon-back.
Jon: "It's cold up here for a southern girl."
Dany: "So keep your Queen warm." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jon: "It's cold up here for a southern girl."
Dany: "So keep your Queen warm." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
After Bran issues a dire warning to everyone that the White Walkers are coming and how they don't have any time for this, Jon and Dany take a romantic getaway to the frost-covered waterfall on dragon-back.
Jon: "It's cold up here for a southern girl."
Dany: "So keep your Queen warm." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Jon: "It's cold up here for a southern girl."
Dany: "So keep your Queen warm." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
submitted by kremershell (approved!)
As he tries to get his makeout session on with Daenerys, Jon enters a staring contest with Drogon who is watching with great interest.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
As he tries to get his makeout session on with Daenerys, Jon enters a staring contest with Drogon who is watching with great interest.
(Ridiculously Funny Moment)
submitted by tommywaffles18 (approved!)
38:22
(+5)
Arya Stark:
Arya and Gendry reunite in the Winterfell forge, and share some banter from their days on the road.
Gendry: "It's not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn't so cold."
Arya: "Stay close to that forge, then."
Gendry: "Is that a command, Lady Stark?"
Arya: "Don't call me that."
Gendry: "As you wish, m'lady." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Gendry: "It's not a bad place to grow up, if it wasn't so cold."
Arya: "Stay close to that forge, then."
Gendry: "Is that a command, Lady Stark?"
Arya: "Don't call me that."
Gendry: "As you wish, m'lady." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
53:29
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After riding anonymously for a fortnight to reach Winterfell, Jaime discovers Bran has been sitting in the courtyard waiting for his "old friend" the whole time.
(I've made a huge mistake.)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)