Matchup: Wanna see my Littlefinger? vs Lady Stoneheart - Zombies Hate Fast Food for Ep 1

Valar Morghulis... Don't You Mean YOLO?

Wanna see my Littlefinger? (mschappe12)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Special
Jon Snow The bastard son of Ned Stark, and a member of the Night's Watch. He helped lead the defense of Castle Black against the Wildling siege.	#5	13	10	3
High Sparrow Leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven.	#37	0	0	0
Roose Bolton Lord of House Bolton, and Warden of the North after his betrayal of Robb Stark at the Red Wedding. He is the father of Ramsay Bolton, who is his bastard son.	#21	0	0	0
Ellaria Sand The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes.	#28	0	0	0
Jaqen H'ghar A member of the Faceless Men of Braavos, and a skilled assassin. After helping Arya escape from Harrenhal, his whereabouts are unknown.	#60	0	0	0
Hizdahr zo Loraq A son of one of the Meereenese slave masters - he appears in Daenerys' court to ask for his fathers body, after Daenerys crucifies all of the slavers in Meereen.	#53	0	0	0
Olenna Redwyne (Grandma Tyrell) The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna is the grandmother of Margaery and Loras. Known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.	#44	0	0	0
Arya Stark The youngest of the Stark girls. She travels to Braavos to seek Jaqen H'gar.	#12	0	0	0
Totals		13	10	3

Lady Stoneheart - Zombies Hate Fast Food (yattabro221)

Character	Drafted	Total	Insults	Wine	Sex	Special
Tyrion Lannister The third of the Lannister children. After losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped prison and fled King's Landing.	#1	39	9	30	0	0
Daario Naharis Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who broke their contract and now sides with Daenerys.	#16	13	0	5	5	3
Selyse Baratheon Lord Stannis Baratheon's wife. She is a strong believer in the new faith of the red priestess Melisandre, who follows the Lord of Light.	#64	0	0	0	0	0
Stannis Baratheon The eldest brother of King Robert, he is the rightful heir to the Irone Throne.	#17	0	0	0	0	0
Qyburn A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities.	#49	0	0	0	0	0
Alliser Thorne Formerly the master-of-arms at Castle Black, Thorne now serves as acting Lord Commander of the Night's Watch in the absence of Lord Commander Mormont.	#33	0	0	0	0	0
Tommen Baratheon The new King of the Seven Kingdoms.	#32	0	0	0	0	0
Janos Slynt A member of the Night's Watch. Slynt formerly served as Commander of the City Watch, before he was removed from the post and exiled by Tyrion Lannister.	#48	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		52	9	35	5	3

Kills

52:44 (+10) Jon Snow:

Jon Snow gives Mance a mercy kill, shooting an arrow through his heart before he is consumed by a burning pyre. (Kill of Named Character)

8 more comments - see full thread

To explain more about the philosophy, one of the important parts of the scorekeeping is that it can objectively follow definitions, without requiring judgment calls on the part of some scorekeeper (which can be subjective). In this case, I agree with both of you that Stannis probably "deserves" some credit - without his actions, Mance wouldn't have been put in a position to be killed. But "put in a position to be killed" is a little murky to make a rule for - how do you draw the line? Is it really Melisandre that puts him in that position because she starts the fire burning?

Given that, I think it's better to stick to the scoring definitions, because there's no subjectivity to them. And sometimes it results in a "deserving" character losing points, but that's fantasy sometimes - just like a football RB who hauls his team to the goal line, only for the backup to sub in and score the 1yd touchdown. -nyan

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2015 Apr 14 moonbaseu92 and coconnor723 like this
I agree with Nyan. Riddle me this: If someone (King A) commands his executioner (Brute) to kill the shopgirl (Lass), and Lass flees to Other Country where she is run over by a cart and dies, does King A get the point? Everyone's actions contribute. The point is, Mance was killed by Jon Snow. Jon Snow was NOT commanded to kill him by Stannis. Therefore, it's not a commanded kill. -alicehanners

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2015 Apr 19
That's different because Mance didn't escape from the fire and run away while Jon shot at him to keep him from escaping. He was in the process of dying. Even if Jon hadn't intervened, he still would've been dead. I know Stannis won't get points for that, and I don't care, I'm just saying that I disagree with your example. -kas113

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2015 Apr 21 moonbaseu92 likes this

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

14:19 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

"Are you a lord if you kill your father? I don't imagine they revoke your nobility for killing a whore, it must happen all the time." (Funny Line)

35:00 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Varys: "There are faster ways to kill yourself."
Tyrion: "Not for a coward." (Funny Line)

37:31 (+3) Tyrion Lannister:

Varys: "You have a choice, my friend. You can stay here at Illyrio's palace and drink yourself to death or you can ride with me to Meereen, meet Daenerys Targaryen and decide if the world is worth fighting for."
Tyrion: "Can I drink myself to death on the road to Meereen?" (Funny Line)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

13:59 (+15) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion downs 3 cups of wine after getting out of that fucking crate, before puking over all the rugs in Ilyrio's palace. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

15:04 (+5) Tyrion Lannister:

After vomiting his previous three drinks onto the floor of Ilyrio's palace, Tyrion refills and goes for another. Boot 'n rally! (Glass of Wine Consumed)

35:01 (+10) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion drinks away his misery with two glasses of wine on the balcony of Ilyrio's palace. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

40:14 (+5) Daario Naharis :

Daario drinks in bed with Daenerys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

Acts of Intercourse

39:31 (+5) Daario Naharis :

Daario pours wine after a session with Daenerys, as they discuss the re-opening of the fighting pits. (Act of Intercourse)

Special

23:07 (+3) Jon Snow:

Melisandre announces Jon Snow to Stannis: "Your Grace. The bastard of Winterfell." (Special)

39:02 (+3) Daario Naharis :

While Daenerys holds court with Hizdahr zo Loraq, Daario pulls out his dagger and suggestively strokes its naked lady hilt while Daenerys eyes him. (Special)

©
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2025 Nathan Yan

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