Mother Fucker of Dragons
Unsullied Wildfire (Public #346)
Owner: balong85
7-3, 40 roto pts (#5)
Z-Score:
-0.069 (percentile: 47.25%)
Weeks at #1: 1
Categories won:
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (84), Glasses of Wine Consumed (50)
Best Week:
Episode 2: Home
(+4 roto points)
Team MVP:
Tyrion Lannister
(picked #2,
106 points,
40.93% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-4
Roster Stats
Roster
charId | Character | Special |
---|---|---|
17 |
Tyrion Lannister
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
|
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender) |
61 |
Theon Greyjoy
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon has been broken through torture by the hands of Ramsay Bolton, but has escaped Winterfell along with Sansa Stark during the chaos of the Battle of Winterfell.
|
+1 point for scenes where Theon refers to himself as "Reek" +1 point when his missing manhood is referenced |
23 |
Bronn
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.
|
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy |
27 |
Podrick Payne
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
|
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks. +1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task |
186 |
Trystane Martell
Prince Doran Martell's son, and heir to Dorne. He is betrothed to Myrcella Baratheon, and accompanies her back to King's Landing to serve on the Small Council.
|
|
60 |
Loras Tyrell
The heir to Highgarden and regarded as one of the most skilled knights in Westeros. He is the brother of Margaery Tyrell. He is currently imprisoned by the High Sparrow for his alleged homosexual affairs with Olyvar, the brothel owner.
|
+1 point anytime someone refers to him using sword-based analogies, or any other reference to his sexuality. |
8 |
Rickon Stark
The youngest of the Stark children. He splits off from Bran and travels with Osha to the Last Hearth, seat of House Umber.
|
+1 point for every scene where he has a speaking line Shaggydog's actions contribute to his points. |
72 |
Qyburn
A disgraced former Maester, who was banished from the order for engaging in forbidden experiments. He is recruited by Cersei to assist in various medical facilities, and now serves as Master of Whispers in King's Landing.
|
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments * +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds" |
Kills
16:42
(+2)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick stabs a Bolton soldier through the chest as he and Brienne charge in to rescue Sansa Stark.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
17:13
(+2)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon stabs a Bolton soldier through the back while he is battling Podrick Payne.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
After luring Pycelle to his laboratory, Qyburn's Little Birds converge and stab the Grand Maester to death. "This pains me, my lord. Whatever your faults, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place. But sometimes before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Qyburn gains the loyalty of Varys' old spy network of little birds. They turn out to be beggar children from the streets of King's Landing, one of whom is named Arthur..
Qyburn: "Your eye looks much better, Arthur. How's your mother's jaw?"
Arthur: "Better."
Qyburn: "And your father?"
Arthur: "No one's seen him."
Qyburn: "And no one will. That worked out rather nicely." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Qyburn: "Your eye looks much better, Arthur. How's your mother's jaw?"
Arthur: "Better."
Qyburn: "And your father?"
Arthur: "No one's seen him."
Qyburn: "And no one will. That worked out rather nicely." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
Qyburn tracks down and recruits Varys' "little birds" of King's Landing.
(Secret Discovery)
15:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
30:08
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..." (Convincing Argument)
3:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach." (Convincing Argument)
Qyburn lures Grand Maester Pycelle to his laboratory on false pretenses, and then sends his little birds to stab him to death. "This pains me, my lord. Whatever your faults, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place. But sometimes before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Qyburn's "More. Much more." report to Cersei in S6E8 is revealed to be his discovery of the barrels of wildfire buried beneath King's Landing, as Lancel Lannister discovers a cache set to trigger an explosion during the Trial by Seven at the Sept of Baelor.
(Secret Discovery)
47:04
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen."
(New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
29:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock." (Witty Insult)
22:03
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
22:46
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
reasoning with Varys as he disapproves of Tyrion's alcoholism: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
(Funny Line)
22:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye) (Funny Line)
26:17
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help."
(Funny Line)
28:30
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face."
(Funny Line)
26:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations." (Funny Line)
27:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking."
(Funny Line)
16:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time."
(Funny Line)
30:41
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that."
(Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
31:47
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*"
(Funny Line)
Bronn: "Oh no, not me. I'm just an upjump sellsword."
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid." (Funny Line)
Jaime: "You have better instincts than any officer in the Lannister army."
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "And you'll get all three. A Lannister always pa-"
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..." (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Lothar Frey: "Ser Jaime, we didn't know you were coming."
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jaime: "Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parley."
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy." (Witty Insult)
9:57
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave." (Witty Insult)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
greeting Podrick Payne: "Gettin' a bit old to be a squire, aren't we?"
(Witty Insult)
Bronn: "Are they in there?"
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh." (Funny Line)
on Jaime Lannister: "The way all women look at him is frankly irritating. I preferred working with the little brother on that account."
(Funny Line)
26:24
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "I have tried wine before. It made me feel funny."
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That's how you know it's working." (Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)
9:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Missandei: "Our Queen insists that one of you must die as punishment for your crimes."
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "It always seems a bit abstract, doesn't it, other people dying?" (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
26:44
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
27:09
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least." (Witty Insult)
to Jaime: "She doesn't want me, she wants your golden fingers up her twat."
(Funny Line)
submitted by axhandle (approved!)
to Jaime, after a Frey serving girl gives him the eye: "You don't even have to do anything, do you?"
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
23:19
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:46
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
26:06
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:08
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
13:28
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:13
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:48
(+5)
Theon Greyjoy:
Yara forces Theon to drink while the fleet is docked.
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
27:23
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Deaths
28:42
(+10)
Trystane Martell:
Trystane is stabbed through the face from behind on Obara Sand, after he turns his back on her to face Nymeria Sand one-on-one.
(Death)
+1 for Trystane Martell
46:00
(+10)
Rickon Stark:
Smalljon Umber brings Ramsay the severed head of Rickon Stark's direwolf, Shaggydog, to prove his prisoner's identity.
(Death)
+1 for Trystane Martell
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
14:39
(+0)
Rickon Stark:
Smalljon Umber tosses out Shaggydog's severed head to prove to Jon and Sansa that they have Rickon as their prisoner.
(Dead Body Appearance)
submitted by Lem Lemoncake (approved!)
35:44
(+10)
Rickon Stark:
Rickon is killed by an arrow through his chest by Ramsay Bolton, after being given a chance to run to freedom towards the Stark army.
(Death)
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
17:27
(+10)
Loras Tyrell:
Loras Tyrell is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside.
(Death)
+1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Rickon Stark, +1 for Trystane Martell
Special
29:58
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion gives a coin to the Meereenese homeless woman and her baby to feed themselves.
(Special)
38:35
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick spends 12 seconds of screentime flicking away at his flintstone in an attempt to start a campfire. We eventually do see the kindling get started in the next shot, after Brienne comes over to supervise.
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
43:11
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon acts against his own self-interest, throwing away his own claim in support of his sister Yara ruling the Iron Islands.
(Special)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
19:44
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon elects to stump for his sister Yara, after other some of the other Ironborn nominate him to inherit the Salt Throne. "I am Theon Greyjoy, last living son of Balon Greyjoy ... and she is your rightful ruler."
(Special)
"Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
(Special)
Bronn starts instructing the Frey forces on the proper siege preparations: "Have your lads start digging perimeter trenches. Set pickets every hundred yards. And work double-time on those siege towers and trebuchets."
(Special)
35:42
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Yara forces Theon to drink while the fleet is docked.
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Special)
Theon: "I don't want any."
Yara: "I don't care what you want. Drink." (Special)
submitted by rls14 (approved!)
14:43
(+3)
Podrick Payne:
Podrick fails to keep his guard up as Bronn is able to sneak up behind him and grab him in a chokehold. Bronn: "Podrick fucking Payne. I thought you'd be dead by now."
(Special)
Podrick: "She's training me to fight."
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..." (Special)