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LordSnowLives | Fantasora

LordSnowLives

GoT Ford

Owner: nhiddink2

5-5, 22.5 roto pts (#3)
Z-Score: 0 (percentile: 50%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won: Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (153), Glasses of Wine Consumed (55)
Best Week: Episode 6: Blood of My Blood (+3 roto points)
Team MVP: Tyrion Lannister (picked #1, 106 points, 23.87% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
#1 106 0 12 51 40 0 0 0 3 0
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and recently returns from a mission to Dorne to rescue his daughter/niece, Myrcella Baratheon.
#8 97 15 30 30 0 10 0 0 12 0
The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
#32 57 10 21 18 5 0 0 0 3 0
The leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven. After being appointed as High Septon by Cersei Lannister, he has lead a sweeping inquiry to root out moral corruption in King's Landing, imprisoning Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, and Cersei Lannister.
#25 49 5 33 6 0 0 0 5 0 0
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.
#16 47 0 0 33 5 0 0 0 9 0
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover.
#33 37 14 3 15 5 0 0 0 0 0
The King of the Seven Kingdoms after the assassination of his brother, Joffrey Baratheon. He is young and highly impressionable to the various influences in King's Landing that seek to control him.
#17 23 10 6 0 0 0 0 7 0 0
The wife of King Tommen Baratheon and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Her increasing influence over the young king have put at her odds against his mother, Cersei Lannister.
#40 14 0 9 0 0 0 0 5 0 0
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
#24 8 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 6 0
Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.
#9 6 0 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 444 56 120 153 55 10 0 17 33 0

Roster

charId Character Special
17
The third, stunted dwarf of the Lannister children - a fugitive from Westeros after losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped and found service as an advisor to Daenerys Targaryen.
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
19
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, and recently returns from a mission to Dorne to rescue his daughter/niece, Myrcella Baratheon.
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
79
Formerly the Master of Coin, Littlefinger is a conniving political mastermind and serves as Warden of the East after his behind-the-scenes assassination of Lisa Tully.
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels
2x multiplier for betrayal events
+1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa
23
A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He recently accompanied Jaime Lannister on a sensitive diplomatic mission to Dorne to rescue the Princeess Myrcella Baratheon.
+1 point when he gives expert critique/advice on fighting strategy
77
The King of the Seven Kingdoms after the assassination of his brother, Joffrey Baratheon. He is young and highly impressionable to the various influences in King's Landing that seek to control him.
Actions by Ser Pounce contribute to his points.
27
A squire in the service of Brienne of Tarth. He previously served as Tyrion Lannister's squire.
+1 point for failed attempts at basic tasks.
+1 point for surprising people with how good he is at a task
192
The leader of the Sparrows, a religious movement within the Faith of the Seven. After being appointed as High Septon by Cersei Lannister, he has lead a sweeping inquiry to root out moral corruption in King's Landing, imprisoning Loras Tyrell, Margaery Tyrell, and Cersei Lannister.
1 politics point every time he (or Sparrows under his order) publicly out a named character for their sins
5
The second eldest of the Stark children. Sansa has spent many of her past years as prisoner to the Lannisters and more recently, House Bolton, the new Warden of the North. Currently she is married to Ramsay, the heir of House Bolton, who keeps her imprisoned in Winterfell and tortures her sadistically. During the Bolton battle against Stannis Baratheon's forces, Sansa escapes over the Winterfell walls with the help of Theon Greyjoy, and the two make their way as far from the Boltons as possible. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
* Lady's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point in every scene she cries
36
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover.
+1 point each time he flirts with Daenerys.
57
The wife of King Tommen Baratheon and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Her increasing influence over the young king have put at her odds against his mother, Cersei Lannister.
+1 point every time she interlocks arms with someone while walking.
Kills
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Podrick stabs a Bolton soldier through the chest as he and Brienne charge in to rescue Sansa Stark. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Daario catches up with the Dothraki guard before he can sound the alarm, strangling him and finally breaking his neck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daario stabs Ahko through the back with his knife, saving Jorah's life. "Told you, I'm very attached to this knife." (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Jaime slays the Mad King Aerys II during one of Bran's flashback visions. (Kill of Named Character)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
Jaime clobbers Black Walder with his golden hand, leaving him with a severe bruise to the cheek.

Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack*
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
submitted by bookworm13457 (approved!)
Jaime acquires Edmure Tully as his prisoner after taking over the Siege of Riverrun. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Daario lops the head off of a Son of the Harpy, as he leads a horde of Dothraki screamers to storm the gates of Meereen. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Sansa feeds the imprisoned Ramsay to his own hounds.

Ramsay: "My hounds will never harm me."
Sansa: "You haven't fed them in seven days. You said it yourself."
Ramsay: "They're loyal beasts."
Sansa: "They were. Now they're starving."
(Kill of Named Character)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
The High Sparrow orders the seven-pointed star to be carved into Loras Tyrell's forehead after his confessions, as a symbol of his sins and newfound faith in the Seven.
Margaery Tyrell: "You mutilated him. You gave me your word."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
After witnessing the wildfire explosion at the Sept of Baelor, Tommen removes his crown and leaps from the balcony to his death. (Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Given a redo, Lady Sansa finally accepts Brienne of Tarth into her service as a knight.
Brienne: "Lady Sansa, I offer my services once again. I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it, by the Old Gods and the New."
Sansa: "And I vow... that you shall always have a place by my... hearth. and..."
Podrick assist" Meat and mead at my table."
Sansa: "...meat and mead at my table. And I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonor. I swear it by the Old Gods and the New. Arise."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 2: Home
Tommen bars Cersei from attending her daughter Myrcella's funeral, instead ordering her to stay in the Red Keep. Despite having the monstrous zombie Mountain on her side, she respects the King's wishes. (Executive Decision)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
Jaime: "You're a bold man."
High Sparrow: "On the contrary. I fear a great deal. The Father, the Mother, the Warrior."
(House Words)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
The High Sparrow convinces Tommen Baratheon to stand down his demands for his mother's entry into the Sept to see Myrcella.
High Sparrow: "A true leader avails himself of the wisest counsel he can. And no one is wiser than the Gods."
Tommen: "My grandfather once said something similar. Except for the part about the Gods."
High Sparrow: "The Gods worked through him whether he knew it or not. As they work through your mother. There's so much good in all of us. The best we can do is to help each other bring it out."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Littlefinger prevails over Lord Yohn Royce's protests, convincing Robin Arryn to mobilize the forces of the Vale against the Boltons, ostensibly to rescue Sansa Stark. "Our Lord has spoken. Gather the Knights of the Vale. The time has come to join the fray." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion overrules Missandei and Grey Worm, offering terms of compromise to the Slave Masters of Yunkai and Astapor.

"Slavery will never return to Meereen, but she will give the other cities of Slaver's Bay time to adjust to the new order. ... Instead of abolishing slavery overnight, we will give you seven years to end the practice. Slaveholders will be compensated for their losses... in exchange, you will cut off your support for the Sons of the Harpy."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jaime assists Cersei in convincing Kevan Lannister and Olenna Tyrell to march the Tyrell army into King's Landing to arrest the High Sparrow and rescue Queen Margaery. "When the High Sparrow is in custody or dead, preferably, and Margaery's back at Tommen's side, do you think the king will be angry at the outcome?" (Convincing Argument)
submitted by coconnor723 (approved!)
Sansa convinces Jon to rally the Wildling armies and march on Winterfell.

"You are the son of the last true Warden of the North. Northern families are loyal. They'll fight for you if you ask. A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back to Winterfell and save them both."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 5: The Door
Sansa learns of the re-emergence of the Blackfish and the Tully army. "Your great-uncle, Brynden the Blackfish, has gathered what remains of the Tully forces and retaken Riverrun. (Secret Discovery)
Confirmation that the slave Masters agreed to Tyrion's slavery phase-out proposal.
Varys: "In the last fortnight since our pact with the Masters..."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
The High Sparrow convinces King Tommen to allow Margaery to proceed with her Walk of Atonement.
Tommen: "Is there no other way? ... It just seems very dangerous."
High Sparrow: "She'll be protected the entire way. The Faith Militant are very stern with those who overstep their bounds."
(Convincing Argument)
The High Sparrow announces Margaery's crimes to the masses gathered at the Sept of Baelor.  "Rich or poor, noble or common, if we sin, we must atone. Margaery of House Tyrell came to us a sinner. She stood before the gods in the holy sept and lied. She turned a blind eye to her brother's sins. She disgraced her house, her King, and herself." (Politics Special)
Margaery successfully convinces Tommen to accept the Lord and Saviour High Sparrow into his heart.
High Sparrow: "Queen Margaery has already atoned for her sins by bringing another into the true light of the Seven."
(Convincing Argument)
The High Sparrow picks up an ownership stake in King's Landing after announcing a joint venture with Tommen Baratheon to make the Seven Kingdoms great again.
High Sparrow: "Together we announce a new age of harmony. A holy alliance between the Crown and the Faith."
Tommen: "The Crown and the Faith are the twin pillars upon which the world rests. Together we will restore the Seven Kingdoms to glory."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by as38 (approved!)
The High Sparrow announces the latest high-profile devotees to sign onto Team Sparrow, in a joint press conference with Tommen Baratheon and Margaery Tyrell.

"Queen Margaery has already atoned for her sins by bringing another into the true light of the Seven. Together we announce a new age of harmony. A holy alliance between the Crown and the Faith."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Despite being demoted out of the Kingsguard, Jaime is assigned a new role as head of the Lannister armies sent to deal with the Blackfish in the Riverlands. "I'm being sent to deal with the Blackfish. Apparently Walder Frey can't manage it on his own because he's 400 years old. Sent me with an army to the Riverlands and a siege that could last months." (New Title)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
"There are some who know every verse of the sacred text, but don't have a drop of the Mother's mercy in their blood. And savages who can't read at all, who understand the Father's wisdom." (House Words)
Instead of bringing Olenna Tyrell in to repent for her sins, as she had promised the High Sparrow, Margaery secretly tips off her grandmother of her imminent danger in King's Landing, convincing her to leave the city. (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by lize1017 (approved!)
Margaery convinces her grandmother Olenna to leave King's Landing for her own safety: "Go home. Find comfort in prayer and good works. The Mother watches over us all." (Convincing Argument)
Jaime takes control of the Frey siege forces surrounding Riverrun. "I'm here by the king's command to take back this castle... The siege is now under my command. The next time the Blackfish looks out from those ramparts, he'll see an army at his gates, not whatever this is." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Lothar Frey and Black Walder find themselves under Jaime Lannister's command as he arrives to take over the siege forces surrounding Riverrun. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 8: No One
Tommen issues a royal decree banning Trial by Combat. "Furthermore, after much prayer and reflection, the Crown has decided that from this day forward, trial by combat will be forbidden throughout the Seven Kingdoms. The tradition is a brutish one, a scheme devised by corrupt rulers in order to avoid true judgment from the Gods." (Executive Decision)
Jaime successfully convinces Edmure Tully to comply with his plan to retake Riverrun, sending him to the gates to ask for entry. (Convincing Argument)
Jaime is victorious in the Siege of Riverrun after his Trojan Horse, Edmure Tully, gains access to the castle and willingly opens his gates to the Lannister army. (Victorious Battle)
Jaime captures the castle of Riverrun. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
While watching from the ramparts of the newly-acquired Riverrun, Jaime spots Brienne and Podrick rowing away from the castle under the cover of night. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to go with a less bloodthirsty response to the slavers attacking Meereen.

Daenerys: "I will crucify the Masters. I will set their fleets afire, kill every last one of their soldiers, and return their cities to the dirt. That is my plan. You don't approve?"
Tyrion: "You once told me you knew what your father was. Did you know his plans for King's Landing when the Lannister armies were at his gates? ... He had caches of wildfire hidden under the Red Keep, the Guildhalls, the Sept of Baelor, all the major thoroughfares. He would have burned every one of his citizens. The loyal ones and the traitors. Every man, woman, and child..."
Daenerys: "This is entirely different."
Tyrion: "You're talking about destroying cities. It's not entirely different. I'd like to suggest an alternate approach."
(Convincing Argument)
Sansa emerges with Petyr Baelish and the Knights of the Vale on her side to rescue the surrounded Stark forces. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
The Knights of the Vale rout the Bolton army, striking the shield formation from the rear and decimating the spearmen with a stream of cavalry, forcing Ramsay to retreat back to Winterfell. (Victorious Battle)
Sansa retakes Winterfell for House Stark after defeating Ramsay Bolton and the rest of the Bolton army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Littlefinger pledges his support of House Stark to Sansa Stark. "News of this battle will spread quickly through the Seven Kingdoms. I've declared for House Stark for all to hear." (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
responding to Loras Tyrell's confession before the Gods: "The gods' judgment is fierce, but also fair. The Warrior punishes those who believe themselves beyond the reach of justice. But the Mother shows her mercy to those who kneel before her." (House Words)
Loras renounces his claims to House Tyrell and swears himself to the High Sparrow and the Faith of the Seven.
Loras Tyrell: "I will abandon the Tyrell name and all that goes with it. I will renounce my lordship and my claims on Highgarden. I will never marry and I will never father children."
High Sparrow: "Brother Loras, I ask you to dedicate your life to the Seven Gods. Will you fight to defend your faith against heretics and apostates?"
Loras Tyrell: "I will."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
The High Sparrow reneges on his agreement to release Loras Tyrell after his confessions (presumably unharmed).
Margaery Tyrell: "You mutilated him. You gave me your word."
High Sparrow: "And I have kept my word. Once the Queen Mother's trial is concluded, Brother Loras is free to leave."
(Act of Betrayal)
Daario reluctantly accepts his assignment to be left behind in Essos as ruler of Meereen.
Daario: "You'll get that throne you want so badly, I'm sure of it. I hope it brings you happiness. I pity the lords of Westeros. They have no idea what's coming for them."
(New Title)
"I had something made for you. I'm not sure if it's right... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen." (New Title)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Tyrion with the completely uncalled-for burn on Varys.
Varys: "You walk as though the paving stones were your personal property. I used to steal from people like you when I was a boy."
Tyrion: "It's a good thing you're not a boy anymore. ... Because you have no cock."
(Witty Insult)
to Jorah: "You're a romantic. I admire that. Sometimes I look at you and I think - 'so that's what I'll be like when I grow old.'" (Witty Insult)
Episode 2: Home
High Sparrow: "You would spill blood in this holy place?"
Jaime: "Oh the Gods won't mind. They spill more blood than the rest of us combined."
(Threat)
Tyrion: "Dragons do not do well in captivity."
Missandei: "How do you know this?"
Tyrion: "That's what I do. I drink and I know things."
(Funny Line)
submitted by wpearsal (approved!)
to Varys: "If I'd lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."
to Greyworm: "... meaning no offense. He makes dwarf jokes, I make eunuch jokes."
Varys: "I do NOT make dwarf jokes."
to Varys: "You think them." (gives Varys the eye)
(Funny Line)
to Daenerys' imprisoned dragons: "I'm friends with your mother. I'm here to help... Don't eat the help." (Funny Line)
to Varys: "Next time I have an idea like that... punch me in the face." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Tyrion: "A wise man once said, a true history of the world is a history of great conversations in elegant rooms."
Missandei: "Who said this?"
Tyrion: "Me. Just now."
*awkward long pause*
Tyrion: "... alright, no conversations."
(Funny Line)
to Greyworm and Missandei: "Alright no drinking, we can play without drinking. It's a wonderful game - I invented it. Here's how it works: I make a statement about your past; if I'm wrong, I drink. And if I'm right... maybe we can't play without drinking." (Funny Line)
to Qyburn: "Does he (Gregor Clegane) understand what we're saying? I mean, to the extent that he ever understood complete sentences in the first place." (Witty Insult)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
in Valyrian to the former slaves in the Meereenese court: "Large sorry... you wait so fat time." (Funny Line)
Daario: "I don't think you can ride the Dragon. Twenty years ago, maybe."
Jorah: "What?"
Daario: "Our Queen. She's wild, you know. Don't let her size fool you. It's hard enough for me, and I'm a young man. You... I don't think your heart could take it."
(Witty Insult)
to Jorah: "If I win, I'm the shit who killed an old man. If I lose, I'm the shit who was killed by an old man. (Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
when Jorah asks Daario to surrender his signature knife: "ahh... I'm... very attached to this knife." (Funny Line)
As he and Jorah watch a Dothraki couple going at it on the streets: "I should have been born a Dothraki." (Funny Line)
Episode 5: The Door
to Littlefinger: "Did you know about Ramsay? If you didn't know you're an idiot. If you did know, you're my enemy." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
"The Sons of the Harpy have a good story: resist the foreign invaders. Our queen has an even better story. Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, ...and all that." (Funny Line)
submitted by emilien.raggi (approved!)
to High Priestess Kinvara: "Thank you for travelling all this way. I know from personal experience how uncomfortable the journey can be. *looks at Varys*" (Funny Line)
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Episode 7: The Broken Man
to Margaery: "The Queen of Thorns is a remarkable woman, a strong woman. And an unrepentant sinner. You must teach her the new one, as she taught you the old, or I fear for her safety, body and soul." (Threat)
Bronn: "Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches."
Jaime: "Someone certainly does."
(Funny Line)
18:25 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "Oh no, not me. I'm just an upjump sellsword."
Jaime: "You're an anointed knight, there's quite a difference."
Bronn: "Aye, knights don't get paid."
(Funny Line)
18:33 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "You have better instincts than any officer in the Lannister army."
Bronn: "That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army."
(Witty Insult)
18:57 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "And you'll get all three. A Lannister always pa-"
Bronn: "Don't say it. Don't fookin' say it..."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
21:03 (+3) Bronn:
Lothar Frey: "Ser Jaime, we didn't know you were coming."
Jaime Lannister: "Because you didn't set a proper perimeter."
Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
to Black Walder: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?" (Threat)
submitted by nsimmonds (approved!)
22:22 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime: "Get word to the Blackfish. I want a parley."
Bronn: "A parley or a fight?"
Jaime: "He's an old man."
Bronn: "You've got one hand. My money's on the old boy."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 8: No One
Varys: "If you shaved your beard with a straight razor, you'd say the razor worked. That doesn't mean it won't cut your throat."
Tyrion: "Spoken like a man who has never had to shave."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by skywalkerdude (approved!)
14:47 (+3) Bronn:
greeting Podrick Payne: "Gettin' a bit old to be a squire, aren't we?" (Witty Insult)
15:03 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn: "Are they in there?"
Podrick Payne: "Uh huh."
Bronn: "You think they're fucking?"
Podrick: "What? No."
Bronn: "Why not? I'd fuck her. You'd fuck her, wouldn't you?"
Podrick: "I'm her squire."
Bronn: "Oh."
(Funny Line)
15:28 (+3) Bronn:
on Jaime Lannister: "The way all women look at him is frankly irritating. I preferred working with the little brother on that account." (Funny Line)
on Sansa Stark: "In my experience, girls like her don't live very long." (Witty Insult)
Edmure Tully: "Do you imagine yourself a decent person? ... After you've massacred my family. Kept me in a cell for years. Stolen our lands."
Jaime: "I'll remind you that our houses are at war. I'm sorry if this conflict has inconvenienced you, but rebelling against the Crown does have consequences."
(Witty Insult)
to Edmure Tully: "I'll send for your baby boy. And I'll launch him into Riverrun with a catapult. Because you don't matter to me, Lord Edmure. Your son doesn't matter to me. The people in the castle don't matter to me. Only Cersei." (Threat)
Episode 9: Battle of the Bastards
Tyrion: "Everyone who makes a joke about a dwarf's height thinks he's the only person ever to make a joke about a dwarf's height. 'The height of nobility,' 'a man of your stature,' 'someone to look up to.' You're all making the same five or six jokes."
Theon: "It was a long time ago."
Tyrion: "It was. And how have things been going for you since then?"
(Witty Insult)
submitted by tibbydoscott (approved!)
Theon Greyjoy: "I didn't murder the Stark boys. But I did things that were just as bad or worse."
Yara Greyjoy: "And he paid for them."
Tyrion: "Doesn't seem like it. He's still alive."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Daenerys: "...I expect you want me to support your claim to the throne of the Iron Islands?"
Theon: "Not my claim. Hers."
Daenerys: "And what's wrong with you?"
Theon: "I'm not fit to rule."
Tyrion: "We can agree upon that at least."
(Witty Insult)
to Ramsay: "Your words will disappear. Your house will disappear. Your name will disappear. All memory of you will disappear." (Threat)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
0:00 (+3) Bronn:
to Jaime: "She doesn't want me, she wants your golden fingers up her twat." (Funny Line)
submitted by axhandle (approved!)
23:47 (+3) Bronn:
to Jaime, after a Frey serving girl gives him the eye: "You don't even have to do anything, do you?" (Funny Line)
24:07 (+3) Bronn:
Jaime Lannister: "Those two have their eyes on you."
Bronn: "They have their eyes on *you*, cunt."
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?"
(Witty Insult)
Walder Frey: "Fear is a marvelous thing."
Jaime: "They don't fear the Freys, though. They fear the Lannisters. We gave you the Riverlands to hold the Riverlands. If we have to ride north and take them back for you every time you lose them, why do we need you?"
(Witty Insult)
submitted by moonbaseu92 (approved!)
Petyr Baelish: "Every time I'm faced with a decision, I close my eyes and see the same picture. Whenever I consider an action, I ask myself will this action help to make this picture a reality? ... A picture of me on the Iron Throne... and you by my side."
Sansa: "It's a pretty picture."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: Home
Tyrion drinks during the meeting of the Meereenese council. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion downs glass #2 as he devises a plan to get the dragons to eat during the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Tyrion drinks while making smalltalk with Greyworm and Missandei before the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from his refill as he, Grey Worm, and Missandei continue to wait for Varys at the Meereenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
Sansa steals away Jon's mug of ale before he can even take an on-screen sip. Jon gets the last laugh as she coughs it back up. "You'd think after thousands of years, the Night's Watch would have learned how to make a good ale." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks wine at the beginning of the negotiations with the slave masters of Astapor and Yunkai. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: The Door
Tyrion drinks while discussing a PR strategy for the brokered peace agreement during the Meerenese council meeting. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 8: No One
Tyrion drinks in the Meereenese council room. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion refills and drinks while fantasizing about retirement as a winemaker. "One day, after our Queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I'd like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp's Delight. Only my close friends could drink it." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
23:54 (+5) Bronn:
Bronn drinks at the Frey-Lannister feast celebrating the retaking of Riverrun. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Daario takes a drink after accepting his assignment to stay behind in Meereen. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 6: Blood of My Blood
Jaime and Cersei get it on after hot and heavy dirty talk about the power of House Lannister and destroying their enemies. "They've made us both stronger, all of them. They have no idea how strong we are. No idea what we're going to do to them. We've always been together. We'll always be together." (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Margaery Tyrell is engulfed as the wildfire explosion rips through the Sept of Baelor, destroying the entire section of King's Landing and killing all those inside. (Death)
After witnessing the wildfire explosion at the Sept of Baelor, Tommen removes his crown and leaps from the balcony to his death. (Death)
Tommen's shrouded body is presented to Cersei. "He should be with his grandfather, his brother, his sister. Burn him and bury his ashes where the Sept once stood." (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 1: The Red Woman
Episode 2: Home
Podrick spends 12 seconds of screentime flicking away at his flintstone in an attempt to start a campfire. We eventually do see the kindling get started in the next shot, after Brienne comes over to supervise. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 3: Oathbreaker
Olenna to Cersei: "Margaery is the Queen. You are not the Queen, because you're not married to the king. I do appreciate these things can get a bit confusing in your family."
(Special)
Episode 4: Book of the Stranger
One teardrop rolled down to her bottom cheek as she reads about Rickon's capture in Ramsay's letter to Jon Snow. (Special)
submitted by golub.jake (approved!)
Episode 7: The Broken Man
18:15 (+3) Bronn:
"Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches." (Special)
Jaime smacks Black Walder with his golden hand as he gives a lesson on threats.

Jaime: "Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?"
Black Walder: "I don't give a rat's-" *smack*
(Special)
22:03 (+3) Bronn:
Bronn starts instructing the Frey forces on the proper siege preparations: "Have your lads start digging perimeter trenches. Set pickets every hundred yards. And work double-time on those siege towers and trebuchets." (Special)
Episode 8: No One
Podrick fails to keep his guard up as Bronn is able to sneak up behind him and grab him in a chokehold. Bronn: "Podrick fucking Payne. I thought you'd be dead by now." (Special)
15:44 (+3) Bronn:
Podrick: "She's training me to fight."
Bronn: "Is she? Oh ... Then how come an old cunt like me can still sneak up and murder you?"
Podrick: "Well, that's a different sort of fighting."
Bronn: "Now, that's the truth, isn't it? You want to learn that sort of fighting? ... All right, let's start with your footwork..."
(Special)
after spotting them from the castle wall, Jaime waves to Brienne and Podrick as they row away from Riverrun. (Special)
submitted by andres.geurts (approved!)
Episode 10: The Winds of Winter
Bronn converses with Jaime about the women at the Frey-Lannister feast.
Jaime: "Not my type."
Bronn: "Not blonde enough?"
(Special)