do dragons vape?
Super Game of Thrones League GT
Owner: steve.henry.johnson
4-3, 28 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score:
1.267 (percentile: 89.76%)
Weeks at #1: 4.5
Categories won:
Political Wins (123), Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (198), Acts of Intercourse (45)
Best Week:
Episode 2: Stormborn
(+3.5 roto points)
Team MVP:
Euron Greyjoy
(picked #12,
113 points,
21.08% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-3
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 17 |
Tyrion Lannister
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
|
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink * +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender) |
| 19 |
Jaime Lannister
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
|
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand * +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation * +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
| 216 |
Euron Greyjoy
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
|
+1 when he or his Ironborn is referenced as the "greatest" (including self-references) +1 for crude sexual remarks made about women he is courting |
| 50 |
Davos Seaworth
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
|
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced * +1 point when invoking Shireen's name |
| 67 |
Tormund Giantsbane
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
|
* every mention of "killing Crows" * every on-screen second he stares into Brienne's soul (rounded up) |
| 52 |
Melisandre
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre has demonstrated mythical skill in blood magic, most recently reviving a deceased Jon Snow. After Davos Seaworth exposes her live sacrifice of the child Shireen Baratheon, she has been exiled by Jon Snow.
|
* +1 point for mentioning that "the night is dark and full of terrors" * +1 each time she mentions a vision she sees in the flames |
| 221 |
Randyll Tarly
Samwell Tarly's disapproving father. He is the Lord of House Tarly, and was one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros.
|
|
| 37 |
Missandei
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
|
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates. |
Kills
50:51
(+4)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron crushes a Greyjoy soldier with the landing bridge, as he makes his entrance aboard Yara's ship, and then immediately cuts down another.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
51:30
(+2)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron parries a blow, and then slices up a Greyjoy soldier.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:26
(+4)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron cleaves down an Ironborn soldier, then sticks his axe into the head of another before getting caught by Nymeria Sand's whip.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:03
(+10)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron stabs Obara through the stomach with the shards of her own broken spear.
(Kill of Named Character)
53:30
(+10)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron bests Nymeria Sand, blocking her dagger and then strangling her with her own whip.
(Kill of Named Character)
54:15
(+2)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron kills an intervening soldier after he and Yara begin their head-to-head fight.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:21
(+2)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron's axe finds an unsuspecting soldier that Yara uses as a human shield.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
55:41
(+1)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron bests Yara in single combat, taking his bloodied niece captive.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
43:03
(+8)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime fends off four Dothraki screamers as they break through the Lannister lines and descend upon his position.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
48:28
(+50)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund kills 25 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
21:15
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron sails into King's Landing with his shiny new Iron Fleet, rebuilt after Yara stole the existing fleet following his coronation.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
0:00
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos suggests that Daenerys's dragons will be a powerful asset against the fight against the wights, and suggests allying with her, despite Sansa's protests. Ultimately, Jon decides to personally travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, citing Davos' arguments in his appeal to the Northern Lords.
"What breathes fire?" ... "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"
(Convincing Argument)
"What breathes fire?" ... "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+6)
Euron Greyjoy:
Yara and Theon Greyjoy, and their competing claims to lead the Ironborn, are eliminated as Euron captures Yara and forces Theon to flee after successfully ambushing their fleet.
(Rivals Eliminated)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
9:43
(+3)
Melisandre:
Melisandre meets with Daenerys Targaryen, imploring her to meet and ally with Jon Snow for the war to come against the White Walkers.
(Convincing Argument)
10:18
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character."
(Convincing Argument)
20:31
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion's earlier advice wins over Daenerys, as she opts for a slower, more politically-calculated siege rather than the violent direct-assault on King's Landing advocated by her Westerosi allies. "I am not here to be Queen of the Ashes."
(Convincing Argument)
53:37
(+6)
Euron Greyjoy:
Ellaria and Tyene Sand are taken prisoner by Euron's Ironborn.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
55:41
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron bests Yara in single combat and taunts Theon into running away, taking his niece captive.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
56:50
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron succesfully ambushes Yara Greyjoy's fleet, burning most of her ships and taking Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene Sand as prisoners.
(Victorious Battle)
0:00
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
With his succesful destruction of Yara Greyjoy's fleet and the "gift" of the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand, Euron wins over Cersei and convinces her to ally with his Ironborn and accept his marriage proposal.
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
23:28
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him as the head of the navy of the Seven Kindgoms.
(New Title)
36:48
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After Jon Snow resigns himself to giving up on an alliance with Daenerys and returning to the North empty-handed, Tyrion convinces him to stay and find a compromise deal, leading him to ask for the dragonglass.
Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you." (Convincing Argument)
38:53
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to give Jon Snow the dragonglass as a gesture of good faith with the North. "Let him mine the Dragonglass. If he's wrong, it's worthless. You didn't even know it was here. It's nothing to you. Give him something by giving him nothing. Take a step toward a more productive relationship with a possible ally."
(Convincing Argument)
Missandei convinces Daenerys against flying out herself to hunt down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet.
Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow." (Convincing Argument)
55:21
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
As the Unsullied are busy attacking Casterly Rock, Euron's Iron Fleet ambushes their ships, destroying the Unsullied navy and cutting off any sea-based escape route in the process.
Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros." (Victorious Battle)
Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros." (Victorious Battle)
55:56
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden.
(Convincing Argument)
55:56
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
55:56
(+3)
Randyll Tarly:
Randyll Tarly becomes Warden of the South, having accepted Jaime's previous offer to rebel against the Tyrells as he rides with the Lannister army in the attack on Highgarden.
(New Title)
55:56
(+3)
Randyll Tarly:
Randyll Tarly betrays the Tyrells, to whom he is a sworn bannerman, siding with Lannisters and marching with their army in in the attack on Highgarden.
(Act of Betrayal)
56:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
56:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
58:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail."
(New Weapon)
61:26
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.
"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
4:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime acquires all of the Tyrell gold after taking Highgarden, although it is bound for the Iron Bank.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
25:34
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:
Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)
Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her." (Convincing Argument)
32:25
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
34:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel."
(Secret Discovery)
35:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
41:13
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
41:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
55:13
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
55:24
(+9)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.
"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
36:50
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant.
(Secret Discovery)
40:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.
Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you." (Convincing Argument)
Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you." (Convincing Argument)
40:01
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
40:01
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
10:45
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
"Looks like we're the Night's Watch now."
(Funny Line)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
11:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything." (Witty Insult)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
19:41
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Cersei: "I'm the Queen of the 7 Kingdoms"
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
24:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Jaime: "The people I was cutting down were your own kin."
Euron: "The place was getting crowded." (Funny Line)
Euron: "The place was getting crowded." (Funny Line)
submitted by hsackman2146 (approved!)
25:39
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
When he said to Jamie and Cersei, ".... with two good hands." Making a joke of Jamie having lost one his hands.
(Witty Insult)
submitted by Th3 JaBBeRWoCK (approved!)
26:04
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "You murdered your own brother."
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful." (Funny Line)
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful." (Funny Line)
33:59
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice.
(Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos' comments on the letter from Tyrion: "Sounds like a charmer. Casual mention of a Dothraki horde, a legion of Unsullied, and 3 dragons - a bit less charming."
(Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron sarcastically and disparagingly to Yara as he approaches her to cut her down: "Give your uncle a kiss"
(Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Randyll Tarly:
"I'm a Tarly. That name means something. We're not oathbreakers. We're not schemers. We don't stab our rivals in the back or cut their throats at weddings."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by peggypcwu (approved!)
10:18
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character."
(Funny Line)
13:42
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll) (Funny Line)
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll) (Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
calling back to Bronn's quote about the Eyrie: "Give me ten good men, and I'll impregnate the bitch"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Melisandre:
to Varys: "I will return, dear Spider, one last time. I have to die in this strange country... just like you."
(Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know".
(Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
9:39
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow." (Funny Line)
Davos: "This is Jon Snow." (Funny Line)
23:55
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really." (Threat)
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really." (Threat)
24:08
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later."
(Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
34:07
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing."
(Funny Line)
35:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister."
(Witty Insult)
37:50
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature."
(Funny Line)
38:14
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here. (Funny Line)
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here. (Funny Line)
4:05
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?" (Comeback)
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?" (Comeback)
4:57
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid."
(Witty Insult)
27:05
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "What kind of a Queen am I if I'm not willing to risk my life to fight them."
Tyrion: "A smart one." (Comeback)
Tyrion: "A smart one." (Comeback)
31:59
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart." (Funny Line)
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart." (Funny Line)
32:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:
Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?" (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
32:30
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?" (Funny Line)
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?" (Funny Line)
32:30
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating." (Funny Line)
Davos: "That sounds... liberating." (Funny Line)
33:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" (Funny Line)
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
24:16
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?" (Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
31:25
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps."
(Funny Line)
31:41
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
32:52
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword." (Funny Line)
34:48
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing."
(Funny Line)
35:11
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
37:33
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
37:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
38:32
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail."
(Funny Line)
39:06
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion)
(Funny Line)
39:11
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach." (Funny Line)
39:40
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.
Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)
Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do." (Funny Line)
44:38
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
44:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm."
(Witty Insult)
54:17
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
54:17
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
54:25
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)
54:36
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)
54:53
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)
4:25
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Gendry: "How do you live up here? How d'you keep your balls from freezing off?"
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got." (Funny Line)
5:06
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Jon Snow: "She will only fight beside us if I bend the knee."
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling." (Witty Insult)
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
15:18
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Were your born mean, or you just hate Wildlings?"
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire." (Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire." (Funny Line)
15:41
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Sandor Clegane: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it." (Funny Line)
16:18
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Sandor Clegane: "You're with Brienne of fucking Tarth?"
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her." (Funny Line)
16:29
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
(Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
19:43
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance." (Funny Line)
5:04
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
13:55
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through." (Witty Insult)
18:06
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Tyrion: "I think we ought to begin with larger concerns."
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here." (Witty Insult)
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here." (Witty Insult)
18:24
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
to Tyrion: "We don't even let your kind live in the Iron Islands, you know? We kill you at birth. An act of mercy for the parents."
(Witty Insult)
28:21
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?"
(Witty Insult)
28:49
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked." (Funny Line)
29:23
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you." (Funny Line)
32:02
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
29:27
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
23:03
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
24:11
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
20:15
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
34:26
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
35:24
(+5)
Tyrion Lannister:
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Missandei gets with Grey Worm on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock.
(Act of Intercourse)
30:10
(+20)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
10:54
(+5)
Randyll Tarly:
After refusing to bend the knee, Randyll is burned to ashes by Drogon's dragonfire alongside his son Dickon.
Daenerys: "Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Death)
Daenerys: "Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Death)
Special
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
While responding to Jaime about him fleeing after the Greyjoy Rebellion: "If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be the greatest captain of the fourteen seas"
(Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Euron boasts about his fleet to Cersei: "The Iron Fleet, on the other hand, that's something else entirely. It's the greatest armada Westeros has ever seen."
(Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
25:39
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
33:49
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund eyes Brienne on the grounds of Winterfell as she spars with Podrick.
(Special)
34:02
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
After Tormund speaks to Podrick, he returns his gaze to Brienne and approaches her.
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Missandei gives a lesson on Valyrian gendered pronouns in ancient prophecies: "Your Grace, forgive me, but your translation is not quite accurate. That noun has no gender in High Valyrian, so proper translation for that prophecy would be 'the prince or princess who was promised will bring the dawn'.
(Special)
4:24
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion Lannister greets Ser Davos on his arrival to Dragonstone: "Ah, the Onion Knight"
(Special)
20:58
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
to Yara: "Look at them, cheering for a Greyjoy. I have to be honest, this is making me hard."
(Special)
22:57
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
Cersei: "You've proven yourself the greatest captain of the Fourteen Seas."
(Special)
24:08
(+3)
Euron Greyjoy:
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later."
(Special)
24:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later."
(Special)
61:26
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father."
(Special)
43:55
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jamie uses his golden hand to block a strike from an attacking Dothraki.
(Special)
submitted by cyprus05 (approved!)
45:27
(+3)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion hands the sentimental slaver's coin to Jorah, reminiscing briefly on their slave days in Meereen before Mormont leaves for Eastwatch.
(Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
The Feels
45:28
(+0)
Tyrion Lannister:
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
34:54
(+0)
Tyrion Lannister:
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism.
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)