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Davos failed to learn to read from a child on a Make-a-Wish | Fantasora

Davos failed to learn to read from a child on a Make-a-Wish

Gboiz 2: Gboiz Reloaded

Owner: adam.b.long1103

22 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 1.155 (percentile: 87.6%)
Weeks at #1: 5
Categories won: Kills (1022), Political Wins (156), Acts of Intercourse (110), Deaths (12)
Best Week: Episode 3: The Queen's Justice (+3 roto points)
Team MVP: Daenerys Targaryen (picked #2, 923 points, 61.45% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
#2 923 858 33 12 0 10 0 7 3 0
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
#5 140 5 45 18 20 40 0 0 12 0
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
#11 106 47 12 39 5 0 0 0 3 0
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
#14 96 8 33 18 5 20 0 0 12 0
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
#17 85 70 6 0 0 0 0 0 9 0
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
#23 45 24 6 0 0 15 0 0 0 0
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
#32 31 0 3 0 0 25 0 0 3 0
The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna seeks only revenge against the Lannisters after Cersei wiped out nearly all of House Tyrell in the wildfire explosion at the Sept of Baelor. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.
#20 29 10 0 9 5 0 0 5 0 0
The second eldest of the Stark children. After being held as a prisoner of House Bolton, Sansa managed to escape and, with the help of Jon Snow and the Knights of the Vale, defeated Ramsay Bolton to reclaim Winterfell for the Starks. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
#8 27 0 15 12 0 0 0 0 0 0
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death. After assassinating Prince Doran and overtaking Dorne, she joins forces with Daenerys Targaryen as she sails west to retake the Iron Throne.
#29 11 0 0 3 5 0 0 0 3 0
The spunky young head of House Mormont.
#35 6 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
The new Master of Whispers in King's Landing, loyally serving Queen Cersei Lannister. A disgraced former Maester, he engages in many scientific experiments in his dungeon lab
#26 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
Totals 1502 1022 156 111 40 110 0 12 51 0

Roster

charId Character Special
31
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
* Announcing her titles: "Mother of Dragons", "Breaker of Chains", etc. (min. of 2 titles)
18
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured
* +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
5
The second eldest of the Stark children. After being held as a prisoner of House Bolton, Sansa managed to escape and, with the help of Jon Snow and the Knights of the Vale, defeated Ramsay Bolton to reclaim Winterfell for the Starks. She is a huge fan of lemon cakes.
* Lady's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point in every scene she cries
81
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
* +1 point for scenes where he eats
* 2x multiplier for actions performed while confronted by fire
19
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
101
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
Can receive points multiple times in the Death category
+1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
59
The matriarch of House Tyrell, Olenna seeks only revenge against the Lannisters after Cersei wiped out nearly all of House Tyrell in the wildfire explosion at the Sept of Baelor. She is known as the "Queen of Thorns" for her sarcasm and wit.
+1 point every time she interlocks arms with someone while walking.
72
The new Master of Whispers in King's Landing, loyally serving Queen Cersei Lannister. A disgraced former Maester, he engages in many scientific experiments in his dungeon lab
* +1 point whenever he receives a new specimen for his experiments
* +1 politics point when reporting information from his "little birds"
91
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death. After assassinating Prince Doran and overtaking Dorne, she joins forces with Daenerys Targaryen as she sails west to retake the Iron Throne.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
37
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates.
258
The spunky young head of House Mormont.
+1 whenever she puts an adult in their place
38
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.)
* Receives standard sex points for making it to first base
Kills
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon. (Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
After the Tyrell forces are defeated and Highgarden is taken by the Lannisters, Olenna accepts the mercy offering of poisoned wine offered by Jaime.

Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good."
(Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:29 (+14) Grey Worm :
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Daenerys, riding on Drogon's back, breaks the line of Lannister soldiers with a breath of fire. "Dracarys." (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon make a strafing run on the Lannister caravan, torching 34 soldiers and a dozen loot wagons in the process. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon begin a second strafing run after a volley of arrows from Jaime Lannister's archers fail to have any effect. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
As Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield, he shoves aside a burning Lannister soldier and encounters two other burning men. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime surveys the losing battle, witnessing a field of Lannister soldiers being burned alive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon go on a third strafing run, flying over the river and targeting Jaime Lannister's position. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Drogon gets to roasts two consolation horses after Bronn tackles Jaime Lannnister out of the way from his ill-fated charge at Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Kill of Named Character)
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died." (Kill of Named Character (finished off from previously fatal injury))
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric smacks his flaming sword onto the wight bear, setting it on fire. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Beric applies his flaming sword to cauterize the chest wounds suffered by Thoros at the paws of the wight bear. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Beric slices through a wight during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
The Hound shatters the jaw of a wight with one hell of an accurate rock throw. "Dumb cunt." (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Beric cuts down 31 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and her three dragons ride in to save the day for Jon Snow, Jorah, Tormund, the Hound, and Beric, laying waste to a massive number of wights with their dragonfire. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
The Hound secures the cargo by impaling the wight onto one of Drogon's spines for the flight out. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Lyanna quells the Northern Lords' resistance to Jon's plan of enlisting women on the front lines to help defend the North

Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island."
(Convincing Argument)
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift. (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion: Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.

"Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by jake.kmiech (approved!)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea -  a secret which Beric seems to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?"
(Secret Discovery)
Daenerys reclaims her ancestral home, the abandoned castle of Dragonstone, once commanded by Stannis Baratheon. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed." (New Weapon)
Daenerys overrules the direct assault advocated by the Greyjoys, Tyrells, and Dornish, opting for a less violent siege on King's Landing and attack on Casterly Rock. (Executive Decision)
Sansa is given command of Winterfell as Jon travels to meet with Daenerys Targaryen. "You are my sister. You're the only Stark in Winterfell. Until I return, the North is yours." (New Title)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.

Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"

Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed."
(Convincing Argument)
Missandei convinces Daenerys against flying out herself to hunt down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet.

Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow."
(Convincing Argument)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle. (Victorious Battle)
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden. (Convincing Argument)
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Victorious Battle)
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail." (New Weapon)
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.

"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Jaime acquires all of the Tyrell gold after taking Highgarden, although it is bound for the Iron Bank. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Ignoring the stern advice of Tyrion and all her other advisors, Daenerys finally puts herself and her dragons into action, riding Drogon into the field of battle to attack the Lannister caravan. (Executive Decision)
Although Drogon is injured, Daenerys and her Dothraki horde are successful in attacking the wagon train of Tyrell loot and breaking the Lannister army. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Daenerys rounds up the Lannister prisoners in the aftermath of the battle, which include Randyll and Dickon Tarly. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's pleas for mercy or alternative punishments for the Lannister army, choosing to burn those who will not bend.

"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it."
(Executive Decision)
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.

Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth."
(Secret Discovery)
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.

Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
After getting that infection checked out at the Maester Clinic, Daenerys happily accepts Jorah Mormont back into service as her First Sword of the Friendzone.

Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.

Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?"
(Secret Discovery)
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's proposal that she name an heir.

Tyrion Lannister: "But there are other ways of choosing a successor. The Night's Watch has one method. The Ironborn, for all their many flaws, have another-"
Daenerys: "We will discuss the succession after I wear the crown."
(Executive Decision)
Beric says a brief prayer for Thoros after they discover him perished in the night. "Lord of Light, show us the way. Come to us in our darkness and lead your servant into the light ... Lord of Light, come to us in our darkness. For the night is dark and full of terrors." (House Words)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Sansa commands Brienne of Tarth to journey south to King's Landing for the meeting convened to present the White Walker threat, leaving Sansa alone in Winterfell despite her protests.

Brienne: I sworn an oath to protect you and your sister. If I abandon you-"
Sansa: "The trip to King's Landing is long, Lady Brienne, and you won't be travelling on summer roads. The sooner you leave, the better your chances of making it on time."
(Executive Decision)
Daenerys ignores Tyrion's pleas, flying off with her three dragons to rescue Jon Snow and his expedition to capture a wight. "I'm not doing nothing again." (Executive Decision)
The Hound wields Gendry's warhammer, after Tormund forced him to leave it behind for the group so Gendry could make the marathon run back to Eastwatch faster. (New Weapon)
Sandor loads the prized captured wight into a boat headed for King's Landing. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Sansa goes snooping into Arya's room in an attempt to recover the copy of the raven letter. (Act of Betrayal)
While snooping through her room, Sansa discover's Arya's stash of faces. (Secret Discovery)
After she rescues Jon Snow's expedition from the Army of the Dead and pledges to fight the war, Jon swallows his pride and agrees to bend the knee.

"Alright, not Dany. How about 'My Queen'? I'd bend the knee, but..."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
"You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?" (Act of Betrayal)
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.

"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.

Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable."
(Secret Discovery)
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.

Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
Petyr Baelish: "Why aren't you happy? What do you want that you do not have?"
Sansa Stark: "At the moment, peace and quiet."
(Witty Insult)
"No need to seize the last word, Lord Baelish. I'll assume it was something clever." (Witty Insult)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Thoros: "Bad night to be outdoors."
Sandor: "You've got real powerful magic to figure that out. Did the Lord of Light whisper that in your ear? 'It's snowwing, Thoros.
It's winnndy. It's gonna be a coold night.'"
(Funny Line)
Thoros: "Why are you always in such a foul mood?"
Sandor: "... Experience."
(Funny Line)
"It's my fucking luck I end up with a band of fire-worshippers" -as Thoros beckons him over to check out the magic prophecy fire he just started (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
on Melisandre's arrival to Dragonstone, after Varys protests that she had served Stannis Baratheon: "You chose an auspicious day to arrive at Dragonstone. We've just decided to pardon those who once served the wrong King." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kimberly.ramia (approved!)
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll)
(Funny Line)
to Theon, as she gets between Yara's legs: "Why are you standing all the way over there then? The foreign invasion is underway." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
on Cersei: "She's a disease, I regret my role in spreading it. You will too." (Witty Insult)
submitted by megan.m.rabuse (approved!)
on Joffrey Baratheon: "He really was a cunt, wasn't he?" (Funny Line)
submitted by megan.m.rabuse (approved!)
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.

Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing."
(Threat)
Daenerys catches Tyrion in one of his signature made-up proverbs and calls him out:

Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by jedjackoway (approved!)
Petyr Baelish: "I know Cersei better than anyone here. If you turn your back on her-"
Sansa: "You don't know Cersei better than anyone here."
Petyr: "I only meant to say-"
Sansa: "That the woman who murdered my mother, father, and brother is dangerous? Thank you for your wise counsel."
(Witty Insult)
Jaime Lannister: "There are always lessons in failures."
Olenna Tyrell: "Yes. You must be very wise by now."
(Witty Insult)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?"
(Comeback)
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid." (Witty Insult)
Missandei: "Your Grace, there's still no word from the Unsullied."
Daenerys: "Soon, he (Grey Worm) will come back to you."
Missandei: "He better."
Daenerys: "What happened?"
Missandei: "Many things."
Daenerys: "... many things?" ?
(Funny Line)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Witty Insult)
The Hound interrupts Beric's grand monologue.

Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Gendry recaps his ordeal after being sold to the Red Priestess Melisandre.

Gendry: "You know what she did to me? She strapped me down on the bed, she stripped me naked-"
Sandor: "Sounds alright so far."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "She wanted to kill me. And would have killed me if it weren't for-"
Sandor: "But they didn't, did they? So what you whinging about?"
Gendry: "I'm not whinging."
Sandor: "Your lips are moving and you complain about something. That's whinging. This one's been killed six times and you don't hear him bitching about it."
(Witty Insult)
Sandor: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund Giantsbane: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
Sandor: "Bet you do.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
Sandor: "How did a mad fucker like you live this long?"
(Funny Line)
Tyrion Lannister: "I'm trying to serve you by planning for the long term."
Daenerys: "Perhaps if you'd planned for the short term, we wouldn't have lost Dorne and Highgarden."
(Witty Insult)
on the Northern lords: "Yes, they turned their backs on Jon when it was time to retake Winterfell, and then they named him their King, and now they're ready to turn their backs on him again. How far would you trust men like that? They're all bloody wind vanes." (Witty Insult)
Beric Dondarrion, as they part ways at Eastwatch: "We'll meet again, Clegane."
Sandor: "Fucking hope not."
(Funny Line)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end"
(Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
(Witty Insult)
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement."
(Comeback)
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you." (Threat)
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Ellaria tries out the beverages stocked by the Greyjoy fleet. "How can you drink this piss? When we reach Sunspear I'll treat you to a Dornish Red, the best in the world." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Olenna drinks the glass of poisoned wine provided by Jaime, after the Tyrells are defeated at Highgarden.

Olenna: "Will there be pain?"
Jaime: "No, I made sure of that."
Olenna: "That's good."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
The Hound gets one short swig in before Jon ruins the party and takes back the flask. "We have to burn the body." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 2: Stormborn
26:45 (+25) Missandei:
Missandei gets with Grey Worm on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
28:00 (+10) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm gets with Missandei on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies. (Act of Intercourse)
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jaime confirms the death of Olenna Tyrell from the poisoned wine she takes after the Tyrell defeat at Highgarden. "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died." (Death)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Viserion slumps into the icy depths of the lake after having been fatally struck by an ice javelin from the Night King. (Death)
Viseron's body is dragged back out from under the ice lake by a chain gang of wights. (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Lyanna puts Lord Glover in his place after his resistance to Jon's plan of enlisting women on the front lines to help defend the North

Robett Glover: "You expect me to put a spear in my granddaughter's hand?"
Lyanna Mormont: "I don't plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me. I might be small, Lord Glover, and I might be a girl, but I am every bit as much a Northerner as you."
Robett: "Indeed you are, my lady. No one has questioned-"
Lyanna: "And I don't need your permission to defend the North. We'll begin training every man, woman, boy, and girl on Bear Island."
(Special)
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death. (Special)
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime) (Special)
submitted by adamjfallon (approved!)
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime) (Special)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Sandor takes a bite out of some pocket jerky.   (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
8:35 (+3) Missandei:
Missandei gives a lesson on Valyrian gendered pronouns in ancient prophecies: "Your Grace, forgive me, but your translation is not quite accurate. That noun has no gender in High Valyrian, so proper translation for that prophecy would be 'the prince or princess who was promised will bring the dawn'. (Special)
19:17 (+3) Qyburn:
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed." (Special)
to Tyrion: "My greatest regret is that Oberyn died fighting for you." (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Special)
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Special)
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father." (Special)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Special)
Jamie uses his golden hand to block a strike from an attacking Dothraki. (Special)
submitted by cyprus05 (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Special)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric lights his sword on fire as the wight bear descends on the party. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Beric lights up his flaming sword to cremate the remains of Thoros of Myr. (Special)
Beric lights up his firesaber as the wight army approaches over the re-frozen ice. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.

Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact)
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)