Matchup: Theon's Sausage Company vs Bend it Like Podrick for Ep 7

House Hamilton Season 5

Theon's Sausage Company (coconnor723)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Insults	Wine	Sex
Bronn A former sellsword, who has risen through the ranks of nobility thanks to his fighting skills and work for the Lannisters. He is arranged to marry Lollys Stokeworth, and eventually inherit a lordship and castle of his own.	#19	11	0	6	5	0
Tyene Sand One of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes.	#30	10	0	0	0	10
Daario Naharis Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who broke their contract and now sides with Daenerys.	#14	10	0	0	0	10
Tyrion Lannister The third of the Lannister children. After losing his trial for the murder of King Joffrey, he has escaped prison and fled King's Landing.	#3	1	1	0	0	0
Clea Volantene courtesan who meets Tyrion Lannister.	#62	0	0	0	0	0
Melara Hetherspoon A childhood friend of Cersei Lannister.	#51	0	0	0	0	0
The Lord of Bones (Rattleshirt) A fearsome Wildling raider, who wears a giant's skull for a helmet and a coat of armor made of bones.	#46	0	0	0	0	0
Trystane Martell Prince Doran Martell's son, and heir to Dorne. He is betrothed to Myrcella Baratheon.	#67	0	0	0	0	0
Varamyr Sixskins legacy character - does not appear in S5	#78	0	0	0	0	0
Olyvar A former prostitute, Olyvar now manages Littlefinger's brothels while he is away in the Eyrie.	#35	0	0	0	0	0
Totals		32	1	6	5	20

Bend it Like Podrick (dsborczuk)

Character	Drafted	Total	Kills	Insults	Sex
Samwell Tarly A steward of the Night's Watch. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.	#18	14	0	9	5
Jorah Mormont The exiled head of House Mormont. Jorah was previously one of Daenerys' most trusted advisors, but was banished when his time serving as a spy for Robert Baratheon was revealed to her.	#15	7	7	0	0
Cersei Lannister Queen Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and mother to King Tommen.	#2	6	0	6	0
Gilly A daughter of Craster, a wildling who lived in a fortified compound north of the Wall. She and her baby escaped to Castle Black with Samwell Tarly.	#34	5	0	0	5
Hot Pie An orphan from King's Landing. He works at the Inn at the Crossroads as a baker.	#66	0	0	0	0
Gendry A bastard son of Robert Baratheon, although this fact is not widely known (even to Gendry himself). After being captured by Melisandre, he is freed by Ser Davos and escaped Dragonstone by rowboat. His whereabouts are currently unknown.	#47	0	0	0	0
Shireen Baratheon Stannis Baratheon's daughter and only child. She is afflicted with greyscale, a disease which has left her face scarred and cracked. She is close friends with Ser Davos Seaworth.	#50	0	0	0	0
Salladhor Saan A Pirate Lord from the Lys, a free city of Essos. He is an old friend of Ser Davos Seaworth and fought for Stannis in the Battle of the Blackwater.	#79	0	0	0	0
White Walker (Night King) The apparent leader of the White Walkers.	#63	0	0	0	0
Podrick Payne A squire who serves Tyrion Lannister.	#31	0	0	0	0
Totals		32	7	15	10

Kills

28:30 (+1) Tyrion Lannister:

Tyrion beats a slave trader with the chain from his collar, to prove his worth to the slave trader Yezzan zo Qaggaz. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)

49:30 (+2) Jorah Mormont:

Jorah elbows Yezzan zo Qaggaz in the nose as he emerges into the fighting pit. (Minor Injury of Named Character)

49:34 (+5) Jorah Mormont:

Jorah enters the fighting pits and knocks out the remaining five fighters in hopes of winning Daenerys' favor. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)

Insults Delivered / Funny Lines

23:05 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

to Brant and Derek, who are assaulting Gilly: "I killed a White Walker. I killed a Thenn. I'll take my chances with you." (Threat)

24:11 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

Sam boasts about his command of the situation after he'd been beaten senseless by Brant and Derek of the Night's Watch.
Gilly: "I know they would've killed you if Ghost hadn't come."
Sam: "No no no, they were tiring out. I had them in the palm of my hand" (Funny Line)

submitted by wpearsal (approved!)

25:31 (+3) Samwell Tarly:

during his first sexual experience with Gilly: "Oh... oh... oh my..." (Funny Line)

submitted by wpearsal (approved!)

40:02 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn gives a rendition of "The Dornishman's Wife" as he is locked in a cell opposite from the Sand Snakes'. (Funny Line)

submitted by mmccor4140 (approved!)

40:44 (+3) Bronn:

Bronn: "Dornish women are the most beautiful women in the world."
Tyene Sand: "Thank you."
Bronn: "I said Dornish women. I didn't say you." (Witty Insult)

52:01 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

Cersei taunts Margaery in the dungeons: "This is horrible. Unacceptable. Are they feeding you enough at least? I brought you this. Venison. It's quite good. I had it myself for supper only last night." (Witty Insult)

58:48 (+3) Cersei Lannister:

to Septa Unella: "Look at me! Look at my face. It's the last thing you'll see before you die." (Threat)

Glasses of Wine Consumed

44:18 (+5) Bronn:

Bronn drinks the vial of antidote from Tyene. (Glass of Wine Consumed)

submitted by nyan (approved!)

Acts of Intercourse

26:24 (+5) Samwell Tarly:

Samwell breaks his vows and lays with Gilly after he get injured. "Oh... oh... oh my." (Act of Intercourse)

26:24 (+5) Gilly:

Gilly sleeps with Samwell Tarly after she tends to his wounds. (Act of Intercourse)

29:24 (+5) Daario Naharis :

Daario and Daenerys share pillowtalk after a session in her chambers. (Act of Intercourse)

30:04 (+5) Daario Naharis :

As he and Daenerys have post-sex pillow talk, Daario rolls on top of her and mounts her again. (Act of Intercourse)

submitted by angurtheconsumer (approved!)

41:14 (+10) Tyene Sand:

Tyene strips down to toy with Bronn as he suffers from the effects of her poisoned dagger. (Non-sexual Nude Scene)

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