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STL | Fantasora

STL

Corbray Dohaeris (Public #1006)

Owner: emilien.raggi

4-3, 25 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 1.485 (percentile: 93.14%)
Weeks at #1: 7
Categories won: Political Wins (135), Special (81)
Best Week: Episode 1: Dragonstone (+3 roto points)
Team MVP: Jon Snow (picked #3, 165 points, 25% of team total)
Longest winstreak: W-4

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
#3 165 89 36 15 0 10 0 0 15 0
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
#11 113 35 30 33 0 0 0 0 15 0
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
#19 106 47 12 39 5 0 0 0 3 0
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
#6 96 8 33 18 5 20 0 0 12 0
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
- 82 70 3 0 0 0 0 0 9 0
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
#14 55 5 18 9 5 0 0 0 18 0
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
- 19 0 0 6 5 0 0 5 3 0
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon is slowly recovering from physical and mental breakdown during his time as a prisoner of Ramsay Bolton. He currently accompanies his sister Yara Greyjoy, who has pledged her Ironborn forces to the cause of Daenerys Targaryen.
#27 18 10 0 0 5 0 0 0 3 0
The spunky young head of House Mormont.
#22 6 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Leader of the Second Sons, a sellsword company who now serves Daenerys Targaryen. He is also one of Daneerys' trusted advisors and her lover, but has been left behind in Meereen to govern the city.
#30 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 660 264 135 120 25 30 0 5 81 0

Roster

charId Character Special
39
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
* +1 each time he unintentionally drops Longclaw
* +1 point each time he is called a bastard in his presence
* Ghost's actions contribute to his points.
19
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
216
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
+1 when he or his Ironborn is referenced as the "greatest" (including self-references)
+1 for crude sexual remarks made about women he is courting
40
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters.
81
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
* +1 point for scenes where he eats
* 2x multiplier for actions performed while confronted by fire
37
A freed slave from Astapor, who serves Daenerys as an advisor and translator.
+1 point for each scene where she speaks Valyrian or translates.
101
Lord of Blackhaven, bannermen to House Baratheon. He leads the Brotherhood Without Banners, an outlaw fighting group in the Riverlands.
Can receive points multiple times in the Death category
+1 when shown igniting the flaming sword
102
A Red Priest from the city of Myr - he is a member of the Brotherhood Without Banners, led by Beric Dondarrion.
+1 point every time he revives someone.
+1 when shown igniting his flaming sword
Kills
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell plies off the infected Greyscale tissue from Jorah's chest, with all the gentleness of a spoon digging through hot pie. (Major Injury of Named Character)
43:40 (+1) Jon Snow:
Jon chokes a creeping Littlefinger against a wall in the Crypts of Winterfell. "Talk to my sister, and I'll kill you myself." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Euron crushes a Greyjoy soldier with the landing bridge, as he makes his entrance aboard Yara's ship, and then immediately cuts down another. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron parries a blow, and then slices up a Greyjoy soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron cleaves down an Ironborn soldier, then sticks his axe into the head of another before getting caught by Nymeria Sand's whip. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron stabs Obara through the stomach with the shards of her own broken spear. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron bests Nymeria Sand, blocking her dagger and then strangling her with her own whip. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron kills an intervening soldier after he and Yara begin their head-to-head fight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron's axe finds an unsuspecting soldier that Yara uses as a human shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron bests Yara in single combat, taking his bloodied niece captive. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric smacks his flaming sword onto the wight bear, setting it on fire. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Beric applies his flaming sword to cauterize the chest wounds suffered by Thoros at the paws of the wight bear. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Beric slices through a wight during the ambush on the White Walker scouting party. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
33:06 (+10) Jon Snow:
After dodging a blow, Jon slices through the White Walker leading the scouting party with Longclaw, shattering it to pieces. (Kill of Named Character)
33:07 (+14) Jon Snow:
7 of the wights in the scouting party disintegrate after Jon kills the White Walker leading them.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
The Hound shatters the jaw of a wight with one hell of an accurate rock throw. "Dumb cunt." (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
47:17 (+34) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 17 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group, up until Daenerys and her dragons arrive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Beric cuts down 31 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:39 (+20) Jon Snow:
Jon realizes he is currently only 4th place on the Kills leaderboard, and climbs back down off of Drogon to score 10 more wight kills in garbage time, as all the others wisely get onboard. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
The Hound secures the cargo by impaling the wight onto one of Drogon's spines for the flight out. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
54:34 (+8) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow cuts down four wights after witnessing Viseron's death, before realizing that trying to cut his way to the Night King for a 1v1 was a terrible idea and that he should really get back to the dragon evac. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
23:04 (+2) Jon Snow:
At the audience in King's Landing, Jon demonstrates the two ways of defeating the Army of the Dead, burning the wight's severed hand, and then finishing off the dismembered wight with a dragonglass dagger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
12:31 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon refuses to strip the Umbers and Karstarks of their castles for Smalljon and Harald's treasonous siding with Ramsay Bolton, despite the objections from Sansa and the other Northern lords.

"...I will not punish a son for his father's sins, and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries.
That is my decision, and my decision is final."
(Executive Decision)
13:14 (+6) Jon Snow:
Jon receives pledges of loyalty from Ned Umber and Alys Karstark, the new heads of their respective houses after Smalljon Umber and Harald Karstark died in the Battle of Winterfell. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Euron sails into King's Landing with his shiny new Iron Fleet, rebuilt after Yara stole the existing fleet following his coronation. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Samwell has officially made it to grad-school life, having been admitted as a student of the Citadel. His first task is latrine duty. (New Title)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion: Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.

"Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by jake.kmiech (approved!)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea -  a secret which Beric seems to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?"
(Secret Discovery)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion - Eastwatch-by-the-Sea -  a secret which Thoros and the Brotherhood seem to already be aware of.
---
Sandor Clegane: "Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
Beric: "Do you believe me now, Clegane?"
(Secret Discovery)
As Samwell flips the pages of the restricted Maester books, he discovers that Dragonstone sits on a literal mountain of dragonglass, a weapon crucial to defeating the White Walkers. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara and Theon Greyjoy, and their competing claims to lead the Ironborn, are eliminated as Euron captures Yara and forces Theon to flee after successfully ambushing their fleet. (Rivals Eliminated)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Samwell sneaks into Jorah's room to try an experimental Greyscale treatment on him, despite Archmaester Ebrose's forbidding him to do so. (Executive Decision)
Samwell's letter is the final straw that convinces Jon Snow to ally with Daenerys Targaryen.

"This message was sent to me by Samwell Tarly. He was my brother at the Night's Watch. A man I trust as much as anyone in this world. He's discovered proof that Dragonstone sits on a mountain of dragonglass."
(Convincing Argument)
39:03 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow decides that he must go to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, despite objections from Sansa and nearly all the Northern lords. "Daenerys is a Queen. Only a King could convince her to help us. It has to be me." (Executive Decision)
Ellaria and Tyene Sand are taken prisoner by Euron's Ironborn. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Euron bests Yara in single combat and taunts Theon into running away, taking his niece captive. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Euron succesfully ambushes Yara Greyjoy's fleet, burning most of her ships and taking Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene Sand as prisoners. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
With his succesful destruction of Yara Greyjoy's fleet and the "gift" of the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand, Euron wins over Cersei and convinces her to ally with his Ironborn and accept his marriage proposal. (Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him as the head of the navy of the Seven Kindgoms. (New Title)
40:48 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys grants the cache of Dragonglass to Jon: "I will allow you to mine the Dragonglass and forge weapons from it. Any resources or men you need, I will provide for you." (New Weapon)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Missandei convinces Daenerys against flying out herself to hunt down Euron Greyjoy's Iron Fleet.

Tyrion: "You'd be flying around the open seas alone for who knows how long."
Daenerys: "I wouldn't be alone. I would have Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal. What can anyone do to them?"
Missandei: "They can still do something to you. It only takes one arrow."
(Convincing Argument)
As the Unsullied are busy attacking Casterly Rock, Euron's Iron Fleet ambushes their ships, destroying the Unsullied navy and cutting off any sea-based escape route in the process.

Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros."
(Victorious Battle)
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden. (Convincing Argument)
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Victorious Battle)
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail." (New Weapon)
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.

"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Jaime acquires all of the Tyrell gold after taking Highgarden, although it is bound for the Iron Bank. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
23:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon reveals the ancient petroglyphs carved into the obsidian cave at Dragonstone, showing the Children of the Forest and the First Men fighting together against the White Walkers.

"There is something else I want to show you, Your Grace. The children of the forest made these. ... A very long time ago. They were right here, standing where we're standing. Before there were Targaryens or Starks or Lannisters. ... They were here together, the children and the First Men.
... They fought together against their common enemy. Despite their differences, despite their suspicions. Together. We need to do the same if we're going to survive. Because the enemy is real. It's always been real."
(Secret Discovery)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
0:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
Gendry enthusiastically pledges to follow Jon Snow beyond the Wall to take on the White Walkers. (New Follower/Prisoner)
26:59 (+3) Jon Snow:
Over Davos' and Daenerys' protests, Jon decides that he'll personally lead the expedition north of the Wall to capture a wight.

Davos Seaworth: "You can't lead a raid beyond the Wall. You're not in the Night's Watch anymore, you're King in the North."
Jon: "I'm the only one here who's fought them. I'm the only one here who knows them."
Daenerys: "I haven't given you permission to leave."
Jon: "With respect, Your Grace, I don't need your permission. I am a King."
(Executive Decision)
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.

Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men."
(Act of Betrayal)
57:14 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon silences the squabbling in the Eastwatch cells and recruits the prisoners into his expedition.

Jon: "He's right. We're all on the same side."
Gendry: "How can we be?"
Jon: "We're all breathing."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric says a brief prayer for Thoros after they discover him perished in the night. "Lord of Light, show us the way. Come to us in our darkness and lead your servant into the light ... Lord of Light, come to us in our darkness. For the night is dark and full of terrors." (House Words)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
The Hound wields Gendry's warhammer, after Tormund forced him to leave it behind for the group so Gendry could make the marathon run back to Eastwatch faster. (New Weapon)
Sandor loads the prized captured wight into a boat headed for King's Landing. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
26:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
In what is universally regarded as a terrible idea by all sides, Jon single-handedly dissolves the Lannister-Targaryen truce in the name of honor and hopefully getting into Daenerys' pants later.

Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen."
(Executive Decision)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
45:47 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon convinces Daenerys to sail with him to the North, rather than flying on her own.

"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message."
(Convincing Argument)
Sam puts the pieces of Bran's visions about Jon Snow's parentage together, remembering what Gilly told him at the Citadel about Rhaegar Targaryen's secret wedding.

"At the Citadel, I transcribed a High Septon's diary. He annulled Rhaegar's marriage to Elia. He wed Rhaegar and Lyanna in a secret ceremony."
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
14:58 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa Stark: "They respect you, they really do, but you have to- Why are you laughing?"
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by andrei.sias (approved!)
Jaime: "The people I was cutting down were your own kin."
Euron: "The place was getting crowded."
(Funny Line)
submitted by hsackman2146 (approved!)
When he said to Jamie and Cersei, ".... with two good hands." Making a joke of Jamie having lost one his hands. (Witty Insult)
submitted by Th3 JaBBeRWoCK (approved!)
Cersei: "You murdered your own brother."
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful."
(Funny Line)
Thoros: "Bad night to be outdoors."
Sandor: "You've got real powerful magic to figure that out. Did the Lord of Light whisper that in your ear? 'It's snowwing, Thoros.
It's winnndy. It's gonna be a coold night.'"
(Funny Line)
Thoros: "Why are you always in such a foul mood?"
Sandor: "... Experience."
(Funny Line)
"It's my fucking luck I end up with a band of fire-worshippers" -as Thoros beckons him over to check out the magic prophecy fire he just started (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Euron sarcastically and disparagingly to Yara as he approaches her to cut her down: "Give your uncle a kiss" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll)
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know". (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
6:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion: "She's much smarter than she lets on."
Jon: "She's starting to let on."
(Funny Line)
12:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys Targaryen: "Did you see three dragons flying overhead when you arrived? ... and did you see the Dothraki, all of whom have sworn to kill for me?"
Jon: "They're hard to miss."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really."
(Threat)
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?"
(Comeback)
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid." (Witty Insult)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
16:04 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon and Daenerys discuss her dragons.

Daenerys: "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Jon: "It wasn't the word I was thinking of, but... but, yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts."
(Funny Line)
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore."
(Funny Line)
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
The Hound interrupts Beric's grand monologue.

Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
4:16 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tormund Giantsbane: "I can breathe again. Down south the air smells like pigshit."
Jon Snow: "You've never been down south."
Tormund: "I've been to Winterfell."
Jon: "That's the North."
(Funny Line)
Gendry recaps his ordeal after being sold to the Red Priestess Melisandre.

Gendry: "You know what she did to me? She strapped me down on the bed, she stripped me naked-"
Sandor: "Sounds alright so far."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "She wanted to kill me. And would have killed me if it weren't for-"
Sandor: "But they didn't, did they? So what you whinging about?"
Gendry: "I'm not whinging."
Sandor: "Your lips are moving and you complain about something. That's whinging. This one's been killed six times and you don't hear him bitching about it."
(Witty Insult)
Sandor: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund Giantsbane: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
Sandor: "Bet you do.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
Sandor: "How did a mad fucker like you live this long?"
(Funny Line)
Jorah Mormont: "Something I've always wanted to know ... How drunk were you when you charged through the breach on Pyke?"
Thoros: "If I'm being honest, I don't remember charging through the breach. Some of the lads told me about it the next morning. Sounded like a good scrap."
(Funny Line)
Jorah Mormont: "The Ironborn thought you were some kind of god. The way you were waving that flaming sword. I thought you were the bravest man I ever saw."
Thoros: "Just the drunkest."
(Funny Line)
Beric Dondarrion, as they part ways at Eastwatch: "We'll meet again, Clegane."
Sandor: "Fucking hope not."
(Funny Line)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end"
(Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
(Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "I think we ought to begin with larger concerns."
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here."
(Witty Insult)
Sam: "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell takes a hearty swig of the rum he gives to Jorah, before attempting the Greyscale surgery. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
The Hound gets one short swig in before Jon ruins the party and takes back the flask. "We have to burn the body." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 2: Stormborn
26:45 (+25) Missandei:
Missandei gets with Grey Worm on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
61:12 (+10) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow's ignites his latent Targaryen instincts to incest with his aunt Daenerys aboard her ship as they sail for White Harbor. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Thoros is found dead in the morning, having succumbed to his injuries and lack of snuggles in the frost as the the group is marooned on the rock isle in the middle of the frozen lake. (Death)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
While responding to Jaime about him fleeing after the Greyjoy Rebellion: "If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be the greatest captain of the fourteen seas" (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime) (Special)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Sandor takes a bite out of some pocket jerky.   (Special)
Thoros conjures a magic prophecy fire to share a vision of the White Walker invasion with Sandor Clegane. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Sam does some late night studying with his pirated JSTOR copies of the restricted Maester books. (Special)
Sam begins writing a raven letter to Jon to inform him of the cache of dragonglass buried beneath Dragonstone. (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
8:35 (+3) Missandei:
Missandei gives a lesson on Valyrian gendered pronouns in ancient prophecies: "Your Grace, forgive me, but your translation is not quite accurate. That noun has no gender in High Valyrian, so proper translation for that prophecy would be 'the prince or princess who was promised will bring the dawn'. (Special)
10:48 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa reading Tyrion's letter to Jon Snow: "All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes." (Special)
Samwell mentions that he has potentially found a treatment option for Jorah Mormont's greyscale in a book. "I found the procedure in a study of rare diseases by Archmaester Pylos". (Special)
Samwell opens up Archmaester Pylos' tome on Rare Diseases, which contains the instructions for the Greyscale treatment he is to perform on Jorah. (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
3:56 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion Lannister greets Jon on his arrival at Dragonstone: "The Bastard of Winterfell." (Special)
16:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Davos Seaworth: "He was named King in the North. Not because of his birthright. He has no birthright. He's a damn bastard." (Special)
Cersei: "You've proven yourself the greatest captain of the Fourteen Seas." (Special)
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Special)
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father." (Special)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
32:38 (+3) Jon Snow:
Missandei: "Forgive me, but may I ask a question? ... Your name is Jon Snow, but your father's name is Ned Stark?"
Jon Snow: "I'm a bastard. My mother and father weren't married."
(Special)
Jamie uses his golden hand to block a strike from an attacking Dothraki. (Special)
submitted by cyprus05 (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam. (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Beric lights his sword on fire as the wight bear descends on the party. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Thoros lights his sword on fire as the wight bear descends on the party. (Special)
Beric lights up his flaming sword to cremate the remains of Thoros of Myr. (Special)
Beric lights up his firesaber as the wight army approaches over the re-frozen ice. (Special)
54:59 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow drops Longclaw on the frozen ice sheet after he is tackled under water by the wights during the dragon evacuation. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
15:08 (+0) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)