Valyrian Steel
GameofPatrons
Owner: j.stainless11
26.5 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score:
1.022 (percentile: 84.65%)
Weeks at #1: 0
Categories won:
Political Wins (123), Glasses of Wine Consumed (35), Acts of Intercourse (60)
Best Week:
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
(+3 roto points)
Team MVP:
Cersei Lannister
(picked #3,
140 points,
29.72% of team total)
Roster Stats
Roster
| charId | Character | Special |
|---|---|---|
| 18 |
Cersei Lannister
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
|
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured * +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
| 19 |
Jaime Lannister
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
|
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand * +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation * +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him * 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer) |
| 79 |
Petyr Baelish (Littlefinger)
Lord Protector of the Vale, Littlefinger effectively controls the Knights of the Vale through the easily manipulated Robbin Arryn. He is a master manipulator who will stop at nothing for power.
|
+1 point in the intercourse category for sex events that occur in his brothels 2x multiplier for betrayal events +1 for every kiss he gives to Sansa |
| 50 |
Davos Seaworth
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
|
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced * +1 point when invoking Shireen's name |
| 61 |
Theon Greyjoy
Heir to the Iron Islands, and formerly a ward of House Stark. Theon is slowly recovering from physical and mental breakdown during his time as a prisoner of Ramsay Bolton. He currently accompanies his sister Yara Greyjoy, who has pledged her Ironborn forces to the cause of Daenerys Targaryen.
|
+1 point for scenes where Theon refers to himself as "Reek" +1 point when his missing manhood is referenced |
| 67 |
Tormund Giantsbane
Formerly a lieutenant of Mance Rayder, the King beyond the Wall, Tormund is now the de facto leader of the Wildlings and a reasoned voice in rallying them behind the cause of Jon Snow.
|
* every mention of "killing Crows" * every on-screen second he stares into Brienne's soul (rounded up) |
| 45 |
Eddison Tollett
One of Jon Snow's few friends in the Night's Watch, he now serves as the Lord Commander after Jon deserts the order following his betrayal.
|
|
| 91 |
Ellaria Sand
The former paramour of Prince Oberyn. She is also the mother of several of his bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes, and plots revenge against the Lannisters for Oberyn's death. After assassinating Prince Doran and overtaking Dorne, she joins forces with Daenerys Targaryen as she sails west to retake the Iron Throne.
|
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell |
| 68 |
Gilly
A wildling who lived north of the Wall. After she befriended Samwell Tarly, she escaped with him to Castle Black, and has sailed to Oldtown with Samwell as he begins his Maester's training.
|
+1 each time she talks about something new she has learned |
| 263 |
Archmaester Ebrose
Archmaester at the Citadel in Oldtown, where new Maesters are trained.
|
+1 each time he asks a rhetorical questions he already knows the answer to |
Kills
51:13
(+4)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon cuts down two of Euron's soldiers as they board Yara's ship.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:43
(+2)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon cuts down one last Ironborn, before his uncle Euron calls to him.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
0:00
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon.
(Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
43:03
(+8)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime fends off four Dothraki screamers as they break through the Lannister lines and descend upon his position.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
48:28
(+50)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund kills 25 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
53:24
(+1)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon makes a comeback in round two with Harrag, wearing out the older Ironborn's kneecap on his impervious groin area, and then pounding him into submission.
(Minor Injury of Named Character)
Political Wins
8:37
(+3)
Eddison Tollett:
Edd learns that Bran Stark is still alive, after he and Meera Reed show up to the gates of Castle Black.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
22:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift.
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos suggests that Daenerys's dragons will be a powerful asset against the fight against the wights, and suggests allying with her, despite Sansa's protests. Ultimately, Jon decides to personally travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, citing Davos' arguments in his appeal to the Northern Lords.
"What breathes fire?" ... "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"
(Convincing Argument)
"What breathes fire?" ... "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"
(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Archmaester Ebrose:
The Archmaester forbids Jorah Mormont from receiving the experimental Greyscale treatment documented by Archmaester Pylos.
Ebrose: "I'm familiar with Archmaester Pylos and his study of rare diseases ... And shall I tell you how he died? From Greyscale. The procedure's far too dangerous, which is why it's now forbidden." (Executive Decision)
Ebrose: "I'm familiar with Archmaester Pylos and his study of rare diseases ... And shall I tell you how he died? From Greyscale. The procedure's far too dangerous, which is why it's now forbidden." (Executive Decision)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
19:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed."
(New Weapon)
0:00
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
22:34
(+6)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
23:28
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
30:40
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
33:09
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed." (Convincing Argument)
55:56
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden.
(Convincing Argument)
55:56
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells.
(New Follower/Prisoner)
56:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle.
(Victorious Battle)
56:32
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
58:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail."
(New Weapon)
61:26
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.
"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
4:50
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime acquires all of the Tyrell gold after taking Highgarden, although it is bound for the Iron Bank.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
11:49
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
12:57
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth." (Secret Discovery)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
22:09
(+3)
Archmaester Ebrose:
Archmaester Ebrose rejects Sam's pleas to immediately alert the realm about the impending White Walker invasion as the Council of Maesters discusses a letter sent by Maester Wolkan of Winterfell about the army of the dead.
Samwell Tarly: "Archmaester, please. It's real. I've seen it."
Ebrose: "We will write to Maester Wolkan at Winterfell for clarification. I promise you we will get to the truth of it one way or another."
Sam: "Archmaester, please-"
Ebrose: "That will be all, Tarly." (Executive Decision)
Samwell Tarly: "Archmaester, please. It's real. I've seen it."
Ebrose: "We will write to Maester Wolkan at Winterfell for clarification. I promise you we will get to the truth of it one way or another."
Sam: "Archmaester, please-"
Ebrose: "That will be all, Tarly." (Executive Decision)
submitted by Ser Vincent (approved!)
32:25
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there.
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
34:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel."
(Secret Discovery)
35:49
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go." (New Follower/Prisoner)
41:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?" (Secret Discovery)
41:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have." (Deals Brokered)
Gilly learns about a secret marriage by Prince Rhaegar Targaryen recorded in a book by High Septon Maynard.
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Secret Discovery)
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Littlefinger acquires the only copy of a raven letter written by Sansa while she was in King's Landing, when she was compelled by Cersei to ask Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee.
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Secret Discovery)
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Secret Discovery)
Littlefinger has been using Maester Wolkan to dig through the Winterfell archives, portraying it as a command by Sansa Stark.
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Act of Betrayal)
Maester Wolkan: "I found it, my Lord. It took some searching. Maester Luwin's archives are very thorough."
Petyr: "You're sure this is the only copy in Winterfell?
Wolkan: "Yes, my Lord."
Petyr: "Lady Stark thanks you for your service." (Act of Betrayal)
Littlefinger snoops from the shadows, having observed Arya Stark tracking him and breaking into his room.
(Secret Discovery)
55:13
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Jon arrives to Eastwatch, where Tormund has command of the castle, meeting with Jon and taking him to the prisoners his scouts found.
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
55:24
(+9)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund takes Jon to the three prisoners he has locked up underneath Eastwatch - Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Sandor Clegane.
"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
"My scouts found them a mile south of the Wall. Said they were on their way here." (New Follower/Prisoner)
40:01
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting.
(Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
53:29
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon wins over Harrag's crew of Ironborn after punching him out on the beaches of Dragonstone. "Not for me. For Yara!"
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
62:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us." (Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
62:50
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable." (Secret Discovery)
63:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe."
(Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
64:12
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it." (Act of Betrayal)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
10:45
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
"Looks like we're the Night's Watch now."
(Funny Line)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
11:31
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything." (Witty Insult)
submitted by alicehanners (approved!)
19:41
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Cersei: "I'm the Queen of the 7 Kingdoms"
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Three Kingdoms, at best." (Witty Insult)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
29:57
(+3)
Archmaester Ebrose:
Samwell Tarly: "I was wondering if you had considered my proposition."
Archmaester Ebrose: "I don't remember your proposition."
Samwell: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?" (Funny Line)
Archmaester Ebrose: "I don't remember your proposition."
Samwell: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?" (Funny Line)
33:59
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
"You're a lucky man." - to Podrick after he gets knocked down by Brienne during sparring practice.
(Funny Line)
0:00
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos' comments on the letter from Tyrion: "Sounds like a charmer. Casual mention of a Dothraki horde, a legion of Unsullied, and 3 dragons - a bit less charming."
(Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
0:00
(+3)
Archmaester Ebrose:
Samwell Tarly: "I met Stannis Baratheon's daughter at Castle Black. She had the Greyscale as a baby and was cured."
Archmaester Ebrose: "No."
Samwell: "Isn't there some way..."
Ebrose: "Does this look like a baby to you?" (referencing their patient, Jorah Mormont)
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No." (Funny Line)
Archmaester Ebrose: "No."
Samwell: "Isn't there some way..."
Ebrose: "Does this look like a baby to you?" (referencing their patient, Jorah Mormont)
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No." (Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
13:42
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll) (Funny Line)
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll) (Funny Line)
49:42
(+3)
Ellaria Sand:
to Theon, as she gets between Yara's legs: "Why are you standing all the way over there then? The foreign invasion is underway."
(Funny Line)
9:39
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow." (Funny Line)
Davos: "This is Jon Snow." (Funny Line)
28:34
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing." (Threat)
4:05
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?" (Comeback)
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?" (Comeback)
4:57
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid."
(Witty Insult)
31:59
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart." (Funny Line)
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart." (Funny Line)
32:19
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:
Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?" (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
32:30
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?" (Funny Line)
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?" (Funny Line)
32:30
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating." (Funny Line)
Davos: "That sounds... liberating." (Funny Line)
33:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" (Funny Line)
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" (Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
13:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his." (Witty Insult)
31:25
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps."
(Funny Line)
31:41
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry." (Funny Line)
34:48
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to Gendry: "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing."
(Funny Line)
35:11
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Funny Line)
37:33
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
Davos: "Not more gold." (Comeback)
37:58
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race." (Funny Line)
38:32
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail."
(Funny Line)
39:06
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion)
(Funny Line)
44:38
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age." (Funny Line)
Samwell Tarly, complaining about his menial scribing tasks: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!"
Gilly: "Steps. That number was the steps." (Funny Line)
Gilly: "Steps. That number was the steps." (Funny Line)
54:17
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
54:17
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late. (Funny Line)
54:25
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many queens are there now?"
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "Two."
Tormund: "And you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one who fucks her brother?" (Funny Line)
54:36
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "How many men did you bring?"
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)
Jon: "Not enough."
Tormund: "The big woman?" (Funny Line)
54:53
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Davos: "I'll be staying behind. I'm a liability out there, as you well know."
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "You are." (Funny Line)
4:25
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Gendry: "How do you live up here? How d'you keep your balls from freezing off?"
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "You've got to keep moving, that's the secret. Walking's good, fighting's better, fucking's best."
Jon Snow: "There's not a living woman within 100 miles of here."
Tormund, eyeing Gendry: "We have to make do with what we've got." (Funny Line)
5:06
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Jon Snow: "She will only fight beside us if I bend the knee."
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling." (Witty Insult)
Tormund: "You spent too much time with the Free Folk. Now you don't like kneeling." (Witty Insult)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
15:18
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "Were your born mean, or you just hate Wildlings?"
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire." (Funny Line)
Sandor Clegane: "I could not give two shits about Wildlings. Gingers, I hate."
Tormund: "Gingers are beautiful. Kissed by fire." (Funny Line)
15:41
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Sandor Clegane: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it." (Funny Line)
16:18
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Sandor Clegane: "You're with Brienne of fucking Tarth?"
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her." (Funny Line)
Tormund: "Well, not with her yet. But I see the way she looks at me."
Sandor: "How does she look at you? Like she wants to carve you up and eat your liver?"
Tormund: "You do know her." (Funny Line)
16:29
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
(Funny Line)
submitted by Laxis (approved!)
5:04
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end" (Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
7:44
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit."
(Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
19:45
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement." (Comeback)
27:06
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you."
(Threat)
61:07
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister." (Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
20:52
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:30
(+5)
Ellaria Sand:
Ellaria tries out the beverages stocked by the Greyjoy fleet. "How can you drink this piss? When we reach Sunspear I'll treat you to a Dornish Red, the best in the world."
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
48:33
(+5)
Theon Greyjoy:
Theon drinks with Yara and Ellaria Sand below deck as they sail for Sunspear.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
28:15
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
29:27
(+5)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
31:24
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
6:40
(+5)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
30:10
(+20)
Jaime Lannister:
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies.
(Act of Intercourse)
30:30
(+40)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime.
(Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Littlefinger has his throat slit by Arya Stark, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa Stark in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.
Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)
Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them." (Death)
Special
20:17
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death.
(Special)
23:59
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by adamjfallon (approved!)
25:39
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime)
(Special)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
30:03
(+6)
Archmaester Ebrose:
Samwell Tarly: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a Maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?" (Special)
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a Maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?" (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
33:49
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
Tormund eyes Brienne on the grounds of Winterfell as she spars with Podrick.
(Special)
34:02
(+3)
Tormund Giantsbane:
After Tormund speaks to Podrick, he returns his gaze to Brienne and approaches her.
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
16:41
(+6)
Archmaester Ebrose:
Ebrose: "Does this look like a baby to you?"
Samwell Tarly: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of Greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No." (Special)
Samwell Tarly: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of Greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No." (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
20:18
(+3)
Ellaria Sand:
to Tyrion: "My greatest regret is that Oberyn died fighting for you."
(Special)
55:00
(+3)
Theon Greyjoy:
Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her."
(Special)
4:24
(+3)
Davos Seaworth:
Tyrion Lannister greets Ser Davos on his arrival to Dragonstone: "Ah, the Onion Knight"
(Special)
24:13
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later."
(Special)
31:03
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
49:22
(+12)
Archmaester Ebrose:
Archmaester Ebrose: "You treated him?"
Samwell Tarly: "Yes."
Ebrose: "Who told you to treat him?"
Sam: "No one."
Ebrose: "Who forbade you, or anyone, to attempt to treat him?"
Sam: "I seem to remember you."
Ebrose: "But you treated him anyway?"
Sam: "I did, yes." (Special)
Samwell Tarly: "Yes."
Ebrose: "Who told you to treat him?"
Sam: "No one."
Ebrose: "Who forbade you, or anyone, to attempt to treat him?"
Sam: "I seem to remember you."
Ebrose: "But you treated him anyway?"
Sam: "I did, yes." (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
61:26
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father."
(Special)
6:35
(+3)
Cersei Lannister:
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank.
(Special)
43:55
(+3)
Jaime Lannister:
Jamie uses his golden hand to block a strike from an attacking Dothraki.
(Special)
submitted by cyprus05 (approved!)
Gilly recites some Maester trivia she has just learned: "Do you know how many steps there are in the Citadel? 15,782."
(Special)
Gilly learns about annulments and a secret marriage.
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Special)
Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne." (Special)
The Feels
48:49
(+0)
Theon Greyjoy:
Jon Snow comes around to forgive Theon for his betrayals to their family.
Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."
Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Theon: "I always wanted to do the right thing. Be the right kind of person. But I never knew what that meant. It always seemed like there's like there was an impossible choice I had to make. Stark or Greyjoy."
Jon Snow: "Our father was more of a father to you than yours ever was. ... And you betrayed him. Betrayed his memory. ... But you never lost him. He's a part of you. Just like he's a part of me. But the things I've done It's not my place to forgive you for all of it.
But what I can forgive, I do. You don't need to choose. You're a Greyjoy and you're a Stark." (Warm Fuzzy Moment)