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Yah yah | Fantasora

Yah yah

Yeet

Owner: tyler3005

9 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 0 (percentile: 50%)
Weeks at #1: 7
Categories won: Kills (1068), Political Wins (231), Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (189), Glasses of Wine Consumed (55), Acts of Intercourse (80), A Game of Thrones (0), Deaths (7), Special (63), The Feels (0)
Best Week: None (+0 roto points)
Team MVP: Daenerys Targaryen (picked #1, 923 points, 54.52% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
#1 923 858 33 12 0 10 0 7 3 0
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
#2 165 89 36 15 0 10 0 0 15 0
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
#3 140 5 45 18 20 40 0 0 12 0
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
#7 113 35 30 33 0 0 0 0 15 0
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
#5 109 0 27 54 25 0 0 0 3 0
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
#8 106 47 12 39 5 0 0 0 3 0
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
#6 96 8 33 18 5 20 0 0 12 0
The leader of the White Walkers.
#4 41 26 15 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 1693 1068 231 189 55 80 0 7 63 0

Roster

charId Character Special
31
Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Mother of Dragons and Breaker of Chains. With her three dragons and army of Unsullied soldiers she carved out an empire of liberated slave cities in the east, and she now sets her sights westward as she sails for the Seven Kingdoms to reclaim the Iron Throne.
* Announcing her titles: "Mother of Dragons", "Breaker of Chains", etc. (min. of 2 titles)
39
Recently declared King in the North, he is the bastard son of Ned Stark, and formerly served as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch before he was betrayed by his fellow men.
* +1 each time he unintentionally drops Longclaw
* +1 point each time he is called a bastard in his presence
* Ghost's actions contribute to his points.
18
Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, after the death of her last remaining child Tommen Baratheon. She suffers from a rare water allergy.
* +1 special point every time she pours wine or requests a glass be poured
* +1 point when someone (excl. Jaime) references incest with Jaime or her childrens' bastardy directly to her
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
130
The leader of the White Walkers.
* Actions of dragons while dragonriding
* Wights or White Walker versions of named chars are counted as followers (unless shown to be re-animated by someone else)
* Scenes of Winter arriving anywhere south of the Riverlands (inclusive)
* works of White Walker art
17
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
19
The second of the Lannister children, he is Cersei's lover and twin brother, and also the father of her three (now deceased) bastard children, the supposed sons and daughters of the late King Robert Baratheon. He also serves as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
* +1 point for awkward waves with his metal hand
* +1 point when he uses his metal hand in a combat situation
* +1 point when someone (excl. Cersei) references incest with Cersei or her childrens' bastardy directly to him
* 2x multiplier for sex acts involving incest (first cousin or closer)
216
The new King of the Iron Islands, after killing his brother Balon Greyjoy. He is described as cunning, ruthless, and with a touch of madness.
+1 when he or his Ironborn is referenced as the "greatest" (including self-references)
+1 for crude sexual remarks made about women he is courting
81
A fearsome Lannister knight, formerly known as the Hound. After being left for dead after losing a fight with Brienne of Tarth, he recovered and briefly reformed as a laborer in a nonviolent commune, but has joined with Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners after bandits attack and destroy the village.
* +1 point for scenes where he eats
* 2x multiplier for actions performed while confronted by fire
Kills
Episode 2: Stormborn
43:40 (+1) Jon Snow:
Jon chokes a creeping Littlefinger against a wall in the Crypts of Winterfell. "Talk to my sister, and I'll kill you myself." (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Euron crushes a Greyjoy soldier with the landing bridge, as he makes his entrance aboard Yara's ship, and then immediately cuts down another. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron parries a blow, and then slices up a Greyjoy soldier. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron cleaves down an Ironborn soldier, then sticks his axe into the head of another before getting caught by Nymeria Sand's whip. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron stabs Obara through the stomach with the shards of her own broken spear. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron bests Nymeria Sand, blocking her dagger and then strangling her with her own whip. (Kill of Named Character)
Euron kills an intervening soldier after he and Yara begin their head-to-head fight. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron's axe finds an unsuspecting soldier that Yara uses as a human shield. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Euron bests Yara in single combat, taking his bloodied niece captive. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei plants a kiss on Tyene Sand, poisoning her with the Long Farewell - the same poison used by Ellaria Sand to kill Myrcella Baratheon. (Major Injury of Named Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Daenerys, riding on Drogon's back, breaks the line of Lannister soldiers with a breath of fire. "Dracarys." (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon make a strafing run on the Lannister caravan, torching 34 soldiers and a dozen loot wagons in the process. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon begin a second strafing run after a volley of arrows from Jaime Lannister's archers fail to have any effect. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
As Bronn runs through the chaos of the battlefield, he shoves aside a burning Lannister soldier and encounters two other burning men. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Jaime surveys the losing battle, witnessing a field of Lannister soldiers being burned alive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and Drogon go on a third strafing run, flying over the river and targeting Jaime Lannister's position. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Drogon gets to roasts two consolation horses after Bronn tackles Jaime Lannnister out of the way from his ill-fated charge at Daenerys. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
After they refuse to bend the knee, Daenerys has Randyll and Dickon Tarly executed by dragonfire.

"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys."
(Kill of Named Character)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
33:06 (+10) Jon Snow:
After dodging a blow, Jon slices through the White Walker leading the scouting party with Longclaw, shattering it to pieces. (Kill of Named Character)
33:07 (+14) Jon Snow:
7 of the wights in the scouting party disintegrate after Jon kills the White Walker leading them.
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
The Hound shatters the jaw of a wight with one hell of an accurate rock throw. "Dumb cunt." (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
47:17 (+34) Jon Snow:
Jon cuts down 17 wights in the ensuing battle as the Night King's Army of the Dead descends upon the group, up until Daenerys and her dragons arrive. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Daenerys and her three dragons ride in to save the day for Jon Snow, Jorah, Tormund, the Hound, and Beric, laying waste to a massive number of wights with their dragonfire. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
52:39 (+20) Jon Snow:
Jon realizes he is currently only 4th place on the Kills leaderboard, and climbs back down off of Drogon to score 10 more wight kills in garbage time, as all the others wisely get onboard. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
The Hound secures the cargo by impaling the wight onto one of Drogon's spines for the flight out. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
The Night King launches a perfect javelin toss, striking Viserion right in the neck and bringing him crashing straight down into the icy lake. (Kill of Named Character)
54:34 (+8) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow cuts down four wights after witnessing Viseron's death, before realizing that trying to cut his way to the Night King for a 1v1 was a terrible idea and that he should really get back to the dragon evac. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After revealing the wight to the audience in King's Landing, Sandor Clegane reels back its chain and bisects the wight as it charges him. (Major Injury of Unnamed Character)
23:04 (+2) Jon Snow:
At the audience in King's Landing, Jon demonstrates the two ways of defeating the Army of the Dead, burning the wight's severed hand, and then finishing off the dismembered wight with a dragonglass dagger. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
The Night King marches across the tundra, having newly added several wight Giants to his army. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
12:31 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon refuses to strip the Umbers and Karstarks of their castles for Smalljon and Harald's treasonous siding with Ramsay Bolton, despite the objections from Sansa and the other Northern lords.

"...I will not punish a son for his father's sins, and I will not take a family home away from a family it has belonged to for centuries.
That is my decision, and my decision is final."
(Executive Decision)
13:14 (+6) Jon Snow:
Jon receives pledges of loyalty from Ned Umber and Alys Karstark, the new heads of their respective houses after Smalljon Umber and Harald Karstark died in the Battle of Winterfell. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Euron sails into King's Landing with his shiny new Iron Fleet, rebuilt after Yara stole the existing fleet following his coronation. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Over Jaime's protests, Cersei meets with Euron Greyjoy to hear his alliance proposal, although it ultimately ends in Euron leaving empty-handed with a promise to return with a gift. (Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
While looking into Thoros' flames, Sandor Clegane discovers the location of the planned White Walker invasion: Eastwatch-by-the-Sea.

"Ice.  A wall of ice.  The Wall. ... It's where the Wall meets the sea.  There's a castle there.  There's a mountain.  Looks like an arrowhead.  The dead are marching past.  Thousands of them."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by jake.kmiech (approved!)
Daenerys reclaims her ancestral home, the abandoned castle of Dragonstone, once commanded by Stannis Baratheon. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Yara and Theon Greyjoy, and their competing claims to lead the Ironborn, are eliminated as Euron captures Yara and forces Theon to flee after successfully ambushing their fleet. (Rivals Eliminated)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Convincing Argument)
Qyburn presents a high-powered dragon-killing ballista to Cersei. "Apparently, one of Daenerys' dragons was wounded by spears in the fighting pits of Meereen. If they can be wounded, they can be killed." (New Weapon)
Tyrion's earlier advice wins over Daenerys, as she opts for a slower, more politically-calculated siege rather than the violent direct-assault on King's Landing advocated by her Westerosi allies. "I am not here to be Queen of the Ashes." (Convincing Argument)
Daenerys overrules the direct assault advocated by the Greyjoys, Tyrells, and Dornish, opting for a less violent siege on King's Landing and attack on Casterly Rock. (Executive Decision)
39:03 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow decides that he must go to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, despite objections from Sansa and nearly all the Northern lords. "Daenerys is a Queen. Only a King could convince her to help us. It has to be me." (Executive Decision)
Ellaria and Tyene Sand are taken prisoner by Euron's Ironborn. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Euron bests Yara in single combat and taunts Theon into running away, taking his niece captive. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Euron succesfully ambushes Yara Greyjoy's fleet, burning most of her ships and taking Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene Sand as prisoners. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
After seizing Highgarden, the defeated Olenna Tyrell sits in her prisoner as a prisoner of Jaime Lannister. (New Follower/Prisoner)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
With his succesful destruction of Yara Greyjoy's fleet and the "gift" of the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand, Euron wins over Cersei and convinces her to ally with his Ironborn and accept his marriage proposal. (Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Euron Greyjoy presents his gift to Cersei - the captured Ellaria and Tyene Sand. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him at the head of her navy. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Cersei accepts Euron Greyjoy's proposal of an alliance, appointing him as the head of the navy of the Seven Kindgoms. (New Title)
Cersei casually reveals her night of incest with Jaime in her chambers as she opens the door for one of her handmaidens.

Jaime: "What are you doing? No one can see us like this."
Cersei: "I am Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, I'll do as I please."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei convinces the Iron Bank against investing in Daenerys Targaryen, and to give her an extension on her loan instead: "From what I gather, she considers herself more of a revolutionary than a monarch. In your experience, how do bankers usually fare with revolutionaries? The Lannisters owe the Iron Bank quite a lot of money, but Lannisters always pay their debts. Do former slaves or Dothraki or dragons?"

Tycho Nestoris: "Your father's daughter, indeed."
(Convincing Argument)
After Jon Snow resigns himself to giving up on an alliance with Daenerys and returning to the North empty-handed, Tyrion convinces him to stay and find a compromise deal, leading him to ask for the dragonglass.

Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to give Jon Snow the dragonglass as a gesture of good faith with the North. "Let him mine the Dragonglass. If he's wrong, it's worthless. You didn't even know it was here. It's nothing to you. Give him something by giving him nothing. Take a step toward a more productive relationship with a possible ally." (Convincing Argument)
40:48 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys grants the cache of Dragonglass to Jon: "I will allow you to mine the Dragonglass and forge weapons from it. Any resources or men you need, I will provide for you." (New Weapon)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
As the Unsullied are busy attacking Casterly Rock, Euron's Iron Fleet ambushes their ships, destroying the Unsullied navy and cutting off any sea-based escape route in the process.

Jaime Lannister to Olenna Tyrell: "They won't be able to hold it (Casterly Rock). Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros."
(Victorious Battle)
Jaime's offer to Randyll Tarly to rebel against the Tyrells appears to have been accepted, as the Tarly's ride with the Lannister army on the assault on Highgarden. (Convincing Argument)
Randyll Tarly allies with the Lannisters, taking Jaime Lannister's offer to become Warden of the South and marching with the Lannister army against the Tyrells. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Victorious Battle)
Jaime walks through the courtyards of Highgarden, where the Lannister army has been victorious in seizing the castle. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Jaime is in possession of the Valyrian steel sword, Widow's Wail. "How will you do it? With that sword? That was Joffrey's sword, wasn't it? Not that he ever used it. What did he call it?" Jaime: "Widow's Wail." (New Weapon)
In her dying moments, Olenna Tyrell reveals to Jaime that she was Joffrey's killer.

"I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes bloodred, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me ... You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Jaime acquires all of the Tyrell gold after taking Highgarden, although it is bound for the Iron Bank. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
23:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon reveals the ancient petroglyphs carved into the obsidian cave at Dragonstone, showing the Children of the Forest and the First Men fighting together against the White Walkers.

"There is something else I want to show you, Your Grace. The children of the forest made these. ... A very long time ago. They were right here, standing where we're standing. Before there were Targaryens or Starks or Lannisters. ... They were here together, the children and the First Men.
... They fought together against their common enemy. Despite their differences, despite their suspicions. Together. We need to do the same if we're going to survive. Because the enemy is real. It's always been real."
(Secret Discovery)
Ignoring the stern advice of Tyrion and all her other advisors, Daenerys finally puts herself and her dragons into action, riding Drogon into the field of battle to attack the Lannister caravan. (Executive Decision)
Although Drogon is injured, Daenerys and her Dothraki horde are successful in attacking the wagon train of Tyrell loot and breaking the Lannister army. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
0:00 (+3) Jon Snow:
Gendry enthusiastically pledges to follow Jon Snow beyond the Wall to take on the White Walkers. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Daenerys rounds up the Lannister prisoners in the aftermath of the battle, which include Randyll and Dickon Tarly. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's pleas for mercy or alternative punishments for the Lannister army, choosing to burn those who will not bend.

"I meant what I said. I'm not here to put them in chains. If that becomes an option many will take it. I gave them a choice. They made it."
(Executive Decision)
With the delivery of the Tyrell gold and a repayment of debts to the Iron Bank, Cersei secures a new loan: "We have the Tyrell gold, we have the Iron Bank behind us. We can buy mercenaries." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Jaime explains to Cersei that it was Olenna Tyrell who had assassinated Joffrey, not Tyrion.

Jaime: "It was Olenna. She confessed before she died."
Cersei: "And this was before or after she drank the poison you so kindly provided her?"
Jaime: "After."
Cersei: "And you believed her?"
Jaime: "If you were Olenna, would you rather have seen your granddaughter married to Joffrey or Tommen? Which one would Margaery have been better able to control? Which one would have made Olenna the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms? She was telling the truth."
(Secret Discovery)
Cersei rejects Jaime's plea to find a peaceful solution out of the conflict with Daenerys.

Jaime: "And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
After getting that infection checked out at the Maester Clinic, Daenerys happily accepts Jorah Mormont back into service as her First Sword of the Friendzone.

Jorah: "I return to your service, my Queen, if you'll have me."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
The Night King breaks Bran's warg connection to his ravens, dispersing the scouting flock sent north of the Wall. (Victorious Battle)
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:

Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her."
(Convincing Argument)
26:59 (+3) Jon Snow:
Over Davos' and Daenerys' protests, Jon decides that he'll personally lead the expedition north of the Wall to capture a wight.

Davos Seaworth: "You can't lead a raid beyond the Wall. You're not in the Night's Watch anymore, you're King in the North."
Jon: "I'm the only one here who's fought them. I'm the only one here who knows them."
Daenerys: "I haven't given you permission to leave."
Jon: "With respect, Your Grace, I don't need your permission. I am a King."
(Executive Decision)
Jaime is taken by Bronn to the dungeons beneath the Red Keep, where he finds his fugitive brother Tyrion who has arranged a meeting with him there. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Cersei reveals that she is already aware of Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting.

Cersei: "Are you going to punish him?"
Jaime: "Tyrion?"
Cersei: "Bronn. He betrayed you. He set up a meeting without your knowledge or consent. Do you think anything of importance happens in this city without me knowing?"
(Secret Discovery)
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
After Jaime and Tyrion's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
57:14 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon silences the squabbling in the Eastwatch cells and recruits the prisoners into his expedition.

Jon: "He's right. We're all on the same side."
Gendry: "How can we be?"
Jon: "We're all breathing."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Daenerys rejects Tyrion's proposal that she name an heir.

Tyrion Lannister: "But there are other ways of choosing a successor. The Night's Watch has one method. The Ironborn, for all their many flaws, have another-"
Daenerys: "We will discuss the succession after I wear the crown."
(Executive Decision)
Daenerys ignores Tyrion's pleas, flying off with her three dragons to rescue Jon Snow and his expedition to capture a wight. "I'm not doing nothing again." (Executive Decision)
The Hound wields Gendry's warhammer, after Tormund forced him to leave it behind for the group so Gendry could make the marathon run back to Eastwatch faster. (New Weapon)
The Night King's Army of the Dead overwhelm Jon Snow's party, forcing them to evacuate by dragon and taking down one of Daenerys Targaryen's dragons, Viserion, in the process. (Victorious Battle)
Sandor loads the prized captured wight into a boat headed for King's Landing. (New Follower/Prisoner)
After she rescues Jon Snow's expedition from the Army of the Dead and pledges to fight the war, Jon swallows his pride and agrees to bend the knee.

"Alright, not Dany. How about 'My Queen'? I'd bend the knee, but..."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
After having Viseron's body salvaged from the icy lake, the Night King reanimates the dragon as a wight. (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
26:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
In what is universally regarded as a terrible idea by all sides, Jon single-handedly dissolves the Lannister-Targaryen truce in the name of honor and hopefully getting into Daenerys' pants later.

Cersei: "In return, the King in the North will extend this truce. He will remain in the North where he belongs. He will not take up arms against the Lannisters. He will not choose sides. ... I know Ned Stark's son will be true to his word."
Jon Snow: "I am true to my word. Or I try to be. That is why I cannot give you what you ask. I cannot serve two queens. And I have already pledged myself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen."
(Executive Decision)
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant. (Secret Discovery)
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.

Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you."
(Convincing Argument)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
45:47 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon convinces Daenerys to sail with him to the North, rather than flying on her own.

"It's your decision, Your Grace. But if we're going to be allies in this war, it's important for the Northerners to see us as allies. If we sail to White Harbor together, I think it sends a better message."
(Convincing Argument)
Cersei declares that the Lannister armies will not be sent north to help fight the White Walkers, over Jaime's protests.

"The monsters are real. The White Walkers, the dragons, the Dothraki screamers all the frightening stories we heard when we were young, they're all real. So be it. Let the monsters kill each other. And while they battle in the North, we take back the lands that belong to us."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Cersei figures that Daenerys has lost one of her dragons and has only two left.

Cersei: "How many dragons did you see at the pit?"
Jaime: "Two."
Cersei: "What happened to the third?
Jaime: "For all we know, it's guarding her fleet!"
Cersei: "She came here with her dragons and her Dothraki and her Unsullied. She came here to show us all her power. No, something happened. The dragons are vulnerable."
(Secret Discovery)
Cersei has bought the services of the mercenary Golden Company. "Highgarden bought us the most powerful army in Essos the Golden Company. 20,000 men, horses, elephants, I believe." (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
Cersei reneges on her promise to send her armies to fight the Army of the Dead in the north, threatening Jaime with treason for disobeying.

Jaime: "I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge."
Cersei: "And that will be treason."
Jaime: "Treason?"
Cersei: "Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies. What would you call it?"
Jaime: "Doesn't matter what I'd call it."
(Act of Betrayal)
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Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Jaime: "How are they better allies? How are they different from the Freys? They both broke their promises and murdered their former friends as soon as it suited them."
Cersei: "So does everyone, when it suits them. Unlike the Freys, they have ships, and they're good at killing."
Jaime: "They're not good at anything."
(Witty Insult)
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14:58 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa Stark: "They respect you, they really do, but you have to- Why are you laughing?"
Jon Snow: "What did father used to say? Everything before the word 'but' is horse shit."
(Witty Insult)
submitted by andrei.sias (approved!)
Jaime: "The people I was cutting down were your own kin."
Euron: "The place was getting crowded."
(Funny Line)
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When he said to Jamie and Cersei, ".... with two good hands." Making a joke of Jamie having lost one his hands. (Witty Insult)
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Cersei: "You murdered your own brother."
Euron: "You should try it. Feels wonderful."
(Funny Line)
Thoros: "Bad night to be outdoors."
Sandor: "You've got real powerful magic to figure that out. Did the Lord of Light whisper that in your ear? 'It's snowwing, Thoros.
It's winnndy. It's gonna be a coold night.'"
(Funny Line)
Thoros: "Why are you always in such a foul mood?"
Sandor: "... Experience."
(Funny Line)
"It's my fucking luck I end up with a band of fire-worshippers" -as Thoros beckons him over to check out the magic prophecy fire he just started (Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
on Melisandre's arrival to Dragonstone, after Varys protests that she had served Stannis Baratheon: "You chose an auspicious day to arrive at Dragonstone. We've just decided to pardon those who once served the wrong King." (Witty Insult)
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Euron taunts Theon into fleeing the battle as he holds Yara captive: "Ah come on, you cockless coward. I have her. Come and get her." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Euron sarcastically and disparagingly to Yara as he approaches her to cut her down: "Give your uncle a kiss" (Witty Insult)
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Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Funny Line)
Randyll Tarly: "Ser Jaime, I believe you know my son."
Jaime: "Rickon, isn't it?"
Dickon: "Dickon."
Jaime: "That's it." (walks past Dickon to speak with Randyll)
(Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Yara, mocking Theon's reaction during their battle on her ship: "*Ohhh noooo!* What a twat." (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
to Jaime: "There's nothing like it is there, the love of the people ... but I suppose you wouldn't know". (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
6:05 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion: "She's much smarter than she lets on."
Jon: "She's starting to let on."
(Funny Line)
12:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Daenerys Targaryen: "Did you see three dragons flying overhead when you arrived? ... and did you see the Dothraki, all of whom have sworn to kill for me?"
Jon: "They're hard to miss."
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Jaime Lannister: "...if you turn on us, they'll cheer to have your severed head mounted on a spike."
Euron: "Or yours. They just like severed heads, really."
(Threat)
to Jaime: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Funny Line)
submitted by jbornstein89 (approved!)
to Ellaria Sand: "Your daughter will die here in this cell, and you will be here watching when she does. You'll be here the rest of your days. If you refuse to eat, we'll force food down your throat. You will live to watch your daughter rot. To watch that beautiful face collapse - to bone and dust. All the while contemplating the choices you've made.

Make sure the guards change the torches every few hours. I don't want her to miss a thing."
(Threat)
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing." (Funny Line)
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here.
(Funny Line)
Daenerys catches Tyrion in one of his signature made-up proverbs and calls him out:

Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by jedjackoway (approved!)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Bronn: "You've just won the biggest prize in the world, what do you possibly have to be upset about? C'mon you can tell me - the Queen of Thorns give you one last prick in the balls before saying goodbye?"
Jaime: "I'll save my confessions for the High Septon."
Bronn: "There is no more High Septon."
Jaime: "No, there isn't, is there?"
(Comeback)
to Bronn: "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, formerly of... whatever nameless shit-heap you're from... with a saddleback full of gold, complaining about not getting paid." (Witty Insult)
Missandei: "Your Grace, there's still no word from the Unsullied."
Daenerys: "Soon, he (Grey Worm) will come back to you."
Missandei: "He better."
Daenerys: "What happened?"
Missandei: "Many things."
Daenerys: "... many things?" ?
(Funny Line)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jaime Lannister: "[Olenna's] dead, like her son, her grandchildren, her whole house. And if we don't find a way out of this war, we'll follow them."
Cersei: "So we fight and die or we submit and die. I know my choice. A soldier should know his."
(Witty Insult)
16:04 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon and Daenerys discuss her dragons.

Daenerys: "They're beautiful, aren't they?"
Jon: "It wasn't the word I was thinking of, but... but, yes, they are. Gorgeous beasts."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
(Funny Line)
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Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword."
(Funny Line)
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach."
(Funny Line)
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.

Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do."
(Funny Line)
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm." (Witty Insult)
The Hound interrupts Beric's grand monologue.

Beric: "It doesn't matter what we think our reasons are. There's a greater purpose at work. And we serve it together, whether we know it or not. We may take the steps, but the Lord of Light-"
Hound: "For fuck's sake, will you shut your hole? Are we coming with you or not?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
4:16 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tormund Giantsbane: "I can breathe again. Down south the air smells like pigshit."
Jon Snow: "You've never been down south."
Tormund: "I've been to Winterfell."
Jon: "That's the North."
(Funny Line)
Gendry recaps his ordeal after being sold to the Red Priestess Melisandre.

Gendry: "You know what she did to me? She strapped me down on the bed, she stripped me naked-"
Sandor: "Sounds alright so far."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "She wanted to kill me. And would have killed me if it weren't for-"
Sandor: "But they didn't, did they? So what you whinging about?"
Gendry: "I'm not whinging."
Sandor: "Your lips are moving and you complain about something. That's whinging. This one's been killed six times and you don't hear him bitching about it."
(Witty Insult)
Sandor: "You want to suck my dick, is that it?"
Tormund Giantsbane: "Dick?"
Sandor: "Cock."
Tormund: "Ah, dick. I like it."
Sandor: "Bet you do.
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "I want to make babies with her - think of them. Great big monsters. They'd conquer the world."
Sandor: "How did a mad fucker like you live this long?"
(Funny Line)
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance."
(Funny Line)
Tyrion Lannister: "I'm trying to serve you by planning for the long term."
Daenerys: "Perhaps if you'd planned for the short term, we wouldn't have lost Dorne and Highgarden."
(Witty Insult)
Beric Dondarrion, as they part ways at Eastwatch: "We'll meet again, Clegane."
Sandor: "Fucking hope not."
(Funny Line)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Bronn and Jaime discuss the Unsullied army standing outside the gates of King's Landing.

Bronn: "Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?"
Jaime: "Gold?"
Bronn: "I spent my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?"
Jaime: "Family."
Bronn: "Not without a cock, you don't."
Jaime: "Maybe it really is all cocks in the end"
(Funny Line)
submitted by kevinpetsky (approved!)
briefing Gregor Clegane in Jaime's presence: "If anything goes wrong, kill the silver-haired bitch first, then our brother, then the bastard who calls himself King. The rest of them you can kill in any order you see fit." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
(Witty Insult)
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through."
(Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "I think we ought to begin with larger concerns."
Euron: "Then why are you talking? You're the smallest concern here."
(Witty Insult)
Jon Snow: "Lord Tyrion tells me a million people live in this city. They're about to become a million more soldiers in the Army of the Dead."
Cersei: "I imagine for most of them it would be an improvement."
(Comeback)
after Jon Snow rejects her offer of truce: "Then there is nothing left to discuss. The dead will come north first. Enjoy dealing with them. We will deal with whatever is left of you." (Threat)
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?" (Witty Insult)
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you."
(Funny Line)
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you."
(Witty Insult)
Cersei: "What are you doing?"
Jaime: "Preparing the expedition north."
Cersei: "Expedition north? I always knew you were the stupidest Lannister."
(Witty Insult)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Cersei takes a sip from the glass while discussing the failed alliance with the Freys after Walder's assassination. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Cersei downs a shot of Long Farewell antidote after poisoning Tyene Sand with a kiss. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Jaime takes a drink in Cersei's chambers as we all try to collectively erase the imagery of Euron sticking Cersei with the pointy end. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Cersei drinks while discussing the Iron Throne's debt payments with Tycho Nestoris, a representative of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Cersei drinks while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
The Hound gets one short swig in before Jon ruins the party and takes back the flask. "We have to burn the body." (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Jaime gets his trousers dropped as Cersei is feeling extra thirsty after another exhilarating session of dungeon torturing her enemies. (Act of Intercourse)
Cersei throws off the bed sheets to reveal herself in the morning after a night with Jaime. (Act of Intercourse)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Daenerys invites Jon Snow into her room so that he can properly bend the knee. (Act of Intercourse)
61:12 (+10) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow's ignites his latent Targaryen instincts to incest with his aunt Daenerys aboard her ship as they sail for White Harbor. (Act of Intercourse)
Deaths
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Viserion slumps into the icy depths of the lake after having been fatally struck by an ice javelin from the Night King. (Death)
Viseron's body is dragged back out from under the ice lake by a chain gang of wights. (Dead Body Appearance)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
While responding to Jaime about him fleeing after the Greyjoy Rebellion: "If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't be the greatest captain of the fourteen seas" (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Cersei runs for the pitcher and pours a glass as Jaime confronts her about Tommen's death. (Special)
Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime) (Special)
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Euron Greyjoy: "Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to grow up and marry the most beautiful woman in the world, so here I am with a thousand ships and two good hands." (looks at Jaime) (Special)
submitted by xdwxrd (approved!)
Sandor takes a bite out of some pocket jerky.   (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
10:48 (+3) Jon Snow:
Sansa reading Tyrion's letter to Jon Snow: "All dwarves are bastards in their father's eyes." (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
3:56 (+3) Jon Snow:
Tyrion Lannister greets Jon on his arrival at Dragonstone: "The Bastard of Winterfell." (Special)
16:54 (+3) Jon Snow:
Davos Seaworth: "He was named King in the North. Not because of his birthright. He has no birthright. He's a damn bastard." (Special)
Cersei: "You've proven yourself the greatest captain of the Fourteen Seas." (Special)
Euron asks Jaime for advice on pleasing Cersei: "Does she like it gentle, or rough? A finger in the bum? Shh, shh, shh, shh, not now. We'll talk later." (Special)
Cersei pours out a glass of wine for her Braavosi visitor, Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Special)
Olenna Tyrell: "I'd hate to die like your son. Clawing at my neck, foam and bile spilling from my mouth, eyes blood red, skin purple. Must have been horrible for you, as a Kingsguard, as a father." (Special)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Cersei pours herself a glass while discussing the delivery of Tyrell gold to Tycho Nestoris of the Iron Bank. (Special)
32:38 (+3) Jon Snow:
Missandei: "Forgive me, but may I ask a question? ... Your name is Jon Snow, but your father's name is Ned Stark?"
Jon Snow: "I'm a bastard. My mother and father weren't married."
(Special)
Jamie uses his golden hand to block a strike from an attacking Dothraki. (Special)
submitted by cyprus05 (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
"Lord Randyll Tarly, Dickon Tarly, I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, sentence you to die. Dracarys." (Special)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
54:59 (+3) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow drops Longclaw on the frozen ice sheet after he is tackled under water by the wights during the dragon evacuation. (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
15:08 (+0) Jon Snow:
Jon Snow, secret Targaryen, shares a moment and boops le snoot of the fierce and beautiful - gorgeous!, actually - Drogon. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..

Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Daenerys says her goodbyes to Jorah once again, as she takes his hands into hers.

Daenerys: "We should be better at saying farewell by now."
Jorah: "Your Grace, I-" (stunned speechless by actual physical contact)
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)