Notice: MemcachePool::get(): Server localhost (tcp 11211, udp 0) failed with: Connection refused (111) in /var/www/html/fantasora.com/public_html/src/Cache/Cache.php on line 70
Oldtown Snarks | Fantasora

Oldtown Snarks

The Gods of Tits and Craft Beer

Owner: derekwarnken

32 roto pts (#1)
Z-Score: 1.147 (percentile: 87.44%)
Weeks at #1: 5.5
Categories won: Political Wins (102), Insults Delivered / Funny Lines (153), Special (60)
Best Week: Episode 1: Dragonstone (+6 roto points)
Team MVP: Arya Stark (picked #6, 165 points, 32.35% of team total)

Roster Stats

Character Drafted Total Kills Politics Insults Wine Sex Thrones Deaths Special Feels
The youngest of the Stark girls. Recently having completed her training as an assassin in the House of Black and White, she has set sail to return to Westeros to pursue her revenge.
#6 165 104 24 24 10 0 0 0 3 0
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
#5 109 0 27 54 25 0 0 0 3 0
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
#16 63 0 9 51 0 0 0 0 3 0
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
#15 55 5 18 9 5 0 0 0 18 0
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
#25 45 24 6 0 0 15 0 0 0 0
Archmaester at the Citadel in Oldtown, where new Maesters are trained.
#36 36 0 6 6 0 0 0 0 24 0
A wildling who lived north of the Wall. After she befriended Samwell Tarly, she escaped with him to Castle Black, and has sailed to Oldtown with Samwell as he begins his Maester's training.
#35 12 0 3 3 0 0 0 0 6 0
The youngest of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She uses daggers and poisons as her weapons.
#45 9 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0
#55 7 1 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre has demonstrated mythical skill in blood magic, most recently reviving a deceased Jon Snow. After Davos Seaworth exposes her live sacrifice of the child Shireen Baratheon, she has been exiled by Jon Snow.
#26 6 0 3 3 0 0 0 0 0 0
Head of House Royce, bannermen to House Arryn of the Vale.
- 3 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The Head of House Glover, and bannerman to the Starks.
#56 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
The High Priestess of the Red Temple in Volantis.
#46 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Totals 510 140 102 153 40 15 0 0 60 0

Roster

charId Character Special
17
Quick to wit and even quicker to the drink, Tyrion is the youngest of three Lannister children. After being exiled by his sister Cersei, he has joined with Daenerys Targaryen, serving as her Hand of the Queen and most trusted adviser.
* +1 point each time he is denied a drink
* +1 point whenever he physically gives someone a coin (or other legal tender)
6
The youngest of the Stark girls. Recently having completed her training as an assassin in the House of Black and White, she has set sail to return to Westeros to pursue her revenge.
* Nymeria's actions contribute to her points.
* +1 point for reciting her hitlist
* adopting a new Faceless Man disguise
40
A steward of the Night's Watch, Samwell has been sent south to Oldtown to begin his training as a Maester. He is a close friend to Jon Snow, and one of the few people known to have killed a White Walker.
+1 point for reading books, mentioning he "read that in a book", or writing raven letters.
50
Formerly Hand of the King to Stannis Baratheon, Davos now advises Jon Snow. He is often at odds with the Red Priestess Melisandre.
* +1 point every time his fingers or onions are referenced
* +1 point when invoking Shireen's name
38
The leader of the Unsullied - a highly-trained army of freed slaves who serve Daenerys Targaryen.
* +1 for every 3-syllable word uttered in the Common Tongue (Westerosi English), not counting proper nouns (Daenerys, Unsullied, etc.)
* Receives standard sex points for making it to first base
52
A Red Priestess from Asshai, Melisandre has demonstrated mythical skill in blood magic, most recently reviving a deceased Jon Snow. After Davos Seaworth exposes her live sacrifice of the child Shireen Baratheon, she has been exiled by Jon Snow.
* +1 point for mentioning that "the night is dark and full of terrors" * +1 each time she mentions a vision she sees in the flames
68
A wildling who lived north of the Wall. After she befriended Samwell Tarly, she escaped with him to Castle Black, and has sailed to Oldtown with Samwell as he begins his Maester's training.
+1 each time she talks about something new she has learned
190
The youngest of Oberyn Martell's bastard children, known as the Sand Snakes. She uses daggers and poisons as her weapons.
+1 for invoking the name of Oberyn Martell
269
256
The Head of House Glover, and bannerman to the Starks.
263
Archmaester at the Citadel in Oldtown, where new Maesters are trained.
+1 each time he asks a rhetorical questions he already knows the answer to
111
Head of House Royce, bannermen to House Arryn of the Vale.
Kills
Episode 1: Dragonstone
2:41 (+94) Arya Stark:
Masquerading as Walder Frey, Arya serves poisoned wine to a host of 47 Freys in the same dining hall where Robb and Catelyn were murdered at the Red Wedding.

"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey."
(Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell plies off the infected Greyscale tissue from Jorah's chest, with all the gentleness of a spoon digging through hot pie. (Major Injury of Named Character)
Tyene enters the fray, impaling a Greyjoy soldier with her dagger, before Yara instructs her to protect Ellaria Sand below deck. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Below deck, Tyene takes out two Ironborn with her daggers. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Grey Worm slits the throat of a Lannister guard, after sneaking past the walls of Casterly Rock via the sewer tunnels. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
54:29 (+14) Grey Worm :
At the top of the stairs, Grey Worm kills 7 Lannister soldiers, throwing his spear to impale the last one against a door. (Kill of Unnamed Character)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After Theon challenges his crew to sail on a mission to rescue Yara, Harrag decks Theon, beating him bloody on the beaches of Dragonstone. (Minor Injury of Named Character)
59:58 (+10) Arya Stark:
Arya slits a groveling Littlefinger across his throat, after his betrayals and treason are exposed by Sansa in the court of Winterfell to the Northern and Vale lords.

Sansa: "Thank you for all your many lessons, Lord Baelish. I will never forget them."
(Kill of Named Character)
Political Wins
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"... so I can tell you my plans for this great house, now that Winter has come". (House Words)
Samwell has officially made it to grad-school life, having been admitted as a student of the Citadel. His first task is latrine duty. (New Title)
As Samwell flips the pages of the restricted Maester books, he discovers that Dragonstone sits on a literal mountain of dragonglass, a weapon crucial to defeating the White Walkers. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Arya encounters Nymeria in the forest, where she leads her own pack of wolves. (Acquire a New Castle/City/Army/Loot)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
Davos suggests that Daenerys's dragons will be a powerful asset against the fight against the wights, and suggests allying with her, despite Sansa's protests. Ultimately, Jon decides to personally travel to Dragonstone to meet with Daenerys, citing Davos' arguments in his appeal to the Northern Lords.

"What breathes fire?" ...  "But if the army of the dead makes it past the wall, do we have enough men to fight them?"

(Convincing Argument)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
The Archmaester forbids Jorah Mormont from receiving the experimental Greyscale treatment documented by Archmaester Pylos.

Ebrose: "I'm familiar with Archmaester Pylos and his study of rare diseases ... And shall I tell you how he died? From Greyscale. The procedure's far too dangerous, which is why it's now forbidden."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Melisandre meets with Daenerys Targaryen, imploring her to meet and ally with Jon Snow for the war to come against the White Walkers. (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Convincing Argument)
Tyrion's earlier advice wins over Daenerys, as she opts for a slower, more politically-calculated siege rather than the violent direct-assault on King's Landing advocated by her Westerosi allies. "I am not here to be Queen of the Ashes." (Convincing Argument)
Samwell sneaks into Jorah's room to try an experimental Greyscale treatment on him, despite Archmaester Ebrose's forbidding him to do so. (Executive Decision)
Samwell's letter is the final straw that convinces Jon Snow to ally with Daenerys Targaryen.

"This message was sent to me by Samwell Tarly. He was my brother at the Night's Watch. A man I trust as much as anyone in this world. He's discovered proof that Dragonstone sits on a mountain of dragonglass."
(Convincing Argument)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Harrag's ship discovers the fate of Theon as he picks him up out of the rubble and water after Euron's attack on Yara's fleet. (Secret Discovery)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
After Jon Snow resigns himself to giving up on an alliance with Daenerys and returning to the North empty-handed, Tyrion convinces him to stay and find a compromise deal, leading him to ask for the dragonglass.

Tyrion: "After a single meeting, it's not a reasonable thing to ask. So, do you have anything reasonable to ask?"
Jon: "What do you mean?"
Tyrion: "Maybe you are a Northern fool. I'm asking if there's something I can do to help you."
(Convincing Argument)
Tyrion convinces Daenerys to give Jon Snow the dragonglass as a gesture of good faith with the North. "Let him mine the Dragonglass. If he's wrong, it's worthless. You didn't even know it was here. It's nothing to you. Give him something by giving him nothing. Take a step toward a more productive relationship with a possible ally." (Convincing Argument)
Grey Worm and his Unsullied step over the bodies of dead Lannister soldiers atop the walls at Casterly Rock, surveying their victory in taking the castle. (Victorious Battle)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Arya convinces the Winterfell guards to allow her into the castle: "I'm getting into this castle one way or another. If I'm not who I say I am, I won't last long. But if I am, and Sansa finds you've turned me away..." (Convincing Argument)
At the Stark sibling reunion party, Bran regifts Littlefinger's Valyrian steel dagger to Arya.

Arya: "Are you sure? It's Valyrian steel."
Bran: "It's wasted on a cripple."
(New Weapon)
Arya asserts that Brienne's vow means that she serves her as well, compelling her to engage in a sparring match. "You swore to serve both my mother's daughters, didn't you?" (New Follower/Prisoner)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Archmaester Ebrose rejects Sam's pleas to immediately alert the realm about the impending White Walker invasion as the Council of Maesters discusses a letter sent by Maester Wolkan of Winterfell about the army of the dead.

Samwell Tarly: "Archmaester, please. It's real. I've seen it."
Ebrose: "We will write to Maester Wolkan at Winterfell for clarification. I promise you we will get to the truth of it one way or another."
Sam: "Archmaester, please-"
Ebrose: "That will be all, Tarly."
(Executive Decision)
submitted by Ser Vincent (approved!)
After the latest rejected plea by Jon Snow to get Daenerys to assist in the war with the White Walkers, Tyrion convinces the team on a different course to try to unite all three monarchs together:

Jon Snow: "We'll fight with the men we have. Unless you'll join us."
Daenerys: "And give the country to Cersei? As soon as I march away, she marches in."
Tyrion: "Perhaps not. Cersei thinks the Army of the Dead is nothing but a story made up by wet nurses to frighten children. What if we prove her wrong?
Jon: "I don't think she'll come see the dead at my invitation."
Tyrion: "So bring the dead to her."
(Convincing Argument)
Davos tracks down Gendry in King's Landing. "I wasn't sure I'd find you. Thought you might still be rowing. I looked in shops, taverns, brothels. Should have known to come straight to the Street of Steel." (Secret Discovery)
Davos has an easier time than expected convincing Gendry to leave King's Landing.

Gendry: "You came to get me. You want me to come with you."
Davos Seaworth: "Well, the thing you need to understand is-"
Gendry: "I'm ready. Let's go."
(New Follower/Prisoner)
After Tyrion and Jaime's secret meeting, Cersei agrees to the truce with Daenerys while they await for Jon to return with proof of the White Walker situation.

Cersei: "I've come to believe that an accommodation with the Dragon Queen could be in our immediate interest. She has the numbers. If we want to beat her, we have to be clever. We have to fight her like Father would have."
(Deals Brokered)
47:25 (+3) Gilly:
Gilly learns about a secret marriage by Prince Rhaegar Targaryen recorded in a book by High Septon Maynard.

Gilly: "What does 'annulment' mean?"
Samwell: "It's when a man sets aside his lawful wife."
Gilly: "Maynard says here that he issued an annulment for a Prince 'Ragger' and remarried him to someone else at the same time in a secret ceremony in Dorne."
(Secret Discovery)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Samwell steals several books and records from the restricted area of the library and abandons the Citadel with Gilly and little Sam.

Gilly: "Are you sure you want to do this? You always wanted to be a Maester."
Samwell: "I'm tired of reading about the achievements of better men."
(Act of Betrayal)
Arya breaks into Littlefinger's chambers and discovers the hidden raven letter, a note from Sansa Stark while she was held captive in King's Landing, asking Robb Stark to come south and bend the knee. (Secret Discovery)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Arya catches Sansa in the act of searching through her room for the copy of the compromising raven letter. "Not what you're looking for?" (Secret Discovery)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
During their meeting in King's Landing, Tyrion deduces that Cersei is pregnant. (Secret Discovery)
Tyrion's meeting with Cersei is succesful, convincing her to not only agree to the truce but to pledge her armies to march north to face the undead threat.

Cersei: "My armies will not stand down. I will not pull them back to the capital. I will march them north to fight alongside you in the Great War. The darkness is coming for us all. We'll face it together. And when the Great War is over, perhaps you'll remember I chose to help with no promises or assurances from any of you."
(Convincing Argument)
After a private meeting with Tyrion, Cersei agrees to a truce with the Targaryen and Northern forces so that they may collectively combat the White Walker threat, completing the deal brokered by Tyrion, Jaime, and Bronn's secret meeting. (Deals Brokered)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Royce rejects the command of Littlefinger, dooming him to Sansa's sentence in his 'trial' at the court of Winterfell.

Petyr Baelish: "I am Lord Protector of the Vale and I command you to escort me safely back to the Eyrie."
Yohn Royce: "I think not."
(Act of Betrayal)
submitted by brandonthebigB (approved!)
Sam puts the pieces of Bran's visions about Jon Snow's parentage together, remembering what Gilly told him at the Citadel about Rhaegar Targaryen's secret wedding.

"At the Citadel, I transcribed a High Septon's diary. He annulled Rhaegar's marriage to Elia. He wed Rhaegar and Lyanna in a secret ceremony."
(Secret Discovery)
Insults Delivered / Funny Lines
Episode 1: Dragonstone
"But you didn't slaughter every one of the Starks. No, no, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey." (Threat)
Samwell Tarly: "I was wondering if you had considered my proposition."
Archmaester Ebrose: "I don't remember your proposition."
Samwell: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?"
(Funny Line)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Hot Pie: "You've been making pies?"
Arya: "One or two." (in reference to her Frey pies)
(Funny Line)
submitted by ssantise (approved!)
Samwell Tarly: "I met Stannis Baratheon's daughter at Castle Black. She had the Greyscale as a baby and was cured."
Archmaester Ebrose: "No."
Samwell: "Isn't there some way..."
Ebrose: "Does this look like a baby to you?" (referencing their patient, Jorah Mormont)
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No."
(Funny Line)
submitted by pacelli929 (approved!)
Tyrion while convincing Daenerys to follow Melisandre's proposal to ally with Jon Snow. "I can't speak to prophecies or visions in the flame... but I like Jon Snow, and I trusted him. And I am an excellent judge of character." (Funny Line)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
to Varys: "I will return, dear Spider, one last time. I have to die in this strange country... just like you." (Threat)
submitted by hindsight44 (approved!)
Missandei: "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, rightful heir to the Iron Throne, rightful Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms, the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains."
Davos: "This is Jon Snow."
(Funny Line)
Theon Greyjoy: "I couldn't save her (Yara). I tried."
Harrag: "You wouldn't be here, if you tried."
(Witty Insult)
to Jon Snow: "I came down here to brood over my failure to predict the Greyjoy attack. You're making it difficult. You look a lot better brooding than I do. You make me feel like I'm failing at brooding over failing." (Funny Line)
"People's minds aren't made for problems that large. White Walkers, the Night King, Army of the Dead. It's almost a relief to confront a comfortable, familiar monster like my sister." (Witty Insult)
Tyrion: "Apparently, it can be turned into weapons that kill white walkers and their foot soldiers. Or stop them. Destroy them. Unsure about the nomenclature." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "I'd very much like to believe that Jon Snow is wrong. But a wise man once said that you should never believe a thing simply because you want to believe it."
Daenerys: "Which wise man said this?"
Tyrion: "I don't remember."
Daenerys: "Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?"
Tyrion: "I would never do that."
To you.
The reason I believe Jon Snow is because he's here.
(Funny Line)
Episode 4: The Spoils of War
Brienne: "You can't use that, My Lady, it's too small." (referring to Arya's sword, Needle)
Arya: "I won't cut you, don't worry."
(Threat)
Davos: "What do you think of her?"
Jon: "Who?"
Davos: "I believe you know of whom I speak." ?
Jon: "I think she has a good heart."
Davos: "A good heart? I've noticed you staring at her good heart."
(Funny Line)
Davos corrects Jon's grammar with a classic callback from his former King, Stannis Baratheon:

Jon Snow: "How many men do we have in the North to fight him? 10,000? Less?"
Davos: "Fewer."
Jon: "What?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Missandei: "Ser Davos, Lord Snow."
Davos: "King Snow, isn't it? No, that doesn't sound right. King Jon?"
(Funny Line)
Missandei: "We don't have marriage in Narth, so the concept of a bastard doesn't exist."
Davos: "That sounds... liberating."
(Funny Line)
Missandei: "All of us who came with her from Essos, we believe in her. She's not our Queen because she's the daughter of some king we never knew. She's the Queen we chose."
Davos, to Jon Snow: "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion: "Who's that (raven letter) for?"
Varys: "Jon Snow."
Tyrion: "Did you read it?"
Varys: "It's a sealed scroll for the King in the North."
...
Tyrion: "What's it say?"
(Funny Line)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
after smuggling Tyrion through Blackwater Bay: "There's a path to the left that hugs the cliff. The guards hardly ever patrol it. Too many steps." (Funny Line)
Tyrion: "What if someone takes the boat?"
Davos: "Then we're fooked. Best hurry."
(Funny Line)
Jaime: "I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half."
Tyrion: "...it'll take you a while with a sparring sword."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "Aren't you worried about the Gold Cloaks?"
Davos: "Haven't been here in years. Why should they recognize me? Sometimes I hardly do.
Nothing fucks you harder than time."
(Funny Line)
Gold Cloaks, after already accepting Davos' bribe: "What's in the boat?
Davos: "Not more gold."
(Comeback)
Davos explains the goods he's smuggling in his boat.

"Fermented crab. One bucket of this triples a brothel's earnings for the week. A man thinks he's done. He's ready to go back to his loving family. But before he gets his breeches up, his lady of the hour pops a tiny spoon of that into his mouth. Five minutes later, he's back in the race."
(Funny Line)
to the Gold Cloaks after giving them a free sample of the fermented crab: "I'd hurry to your favorite establishment, or you'll put a hole in that chainmail." (Funny Line)
"I really wouldn't try any more until you see how the first bite hits you." (as the Gold Cloaks return to the boat of fermented crab to get a better look at Tyrion) (Funny Line)
First Gold Cloak: "That dwarf..."
Second Gold Cloak: "Where'd you get that scar?"
Tyrion: "Fish hook. Some men you just can't teach."
(Funny Line)
Davos introduces Tyrion to Gendry, who has just smashed in the heads of two investigating Gold Cloaks.

Davos: "This is Gendry."
Tyrion: "He'll do."
(Funny Line)
Gendry: "I owe you my life. Twice over. But if what you said is true about what's up there, I can't wait out this war."
Davos: "Yep, nobody mind me. All I've ever done is live to a ripe old age."
(Funny Line)
to Jorah Mormont: "You may not believe it, but I've missed you, Mormont. Nobody glowers quite like you. Not even Grey Worm." (Witty Insult)
Gilly: "Guess how many windows are in the Great Sept of Baelor.
Sam: "None anymore."
(Funny Line)
Sam goes on a rant to Gilly about the order of Maesters: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!" (Witty Insult)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
47:58 (+3) Gilly:
Samwell Tarly, complaining about his menial scribing tasks: "We can all become slavering, murderous imbeciles in thrall to evil incarnate as long as we can have access to the full records of High Septon Maynard's 15,782 shits!"
Gilly: "Steps. That number was the steps."
(Funny Line)
Tormund: "Isn't it your job to talk him out of stupid fucking ideas like this?"
Davos: "I've been failing at that job of late.
(Funny Line)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
to Sansa: "What would little Lyanna Mormont say? She's younger than you were when you wrote this. Are you going to say 'But I was just a child'?" (Threat)
Sansa Stark: "You're angry. Sometimes anger makes people do unfortunate things."
Arya: "Sometimes fear makes them do unfortunate things. I'll go with anger."
(Comeback)
Daenerys: "Jon Snow is not in love with me."
Tyrion: "Oh, my mistake. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he's hopeful for a successful military alliance."
(Funny Line)
Sansa Stark: " I have hundreds of men here at Winterfell, all loyal to me."
Arya: "They're not here now."
(Threat)
to Sansa: "Neither of us got to be the other person, did we? The world doesn't just let girls decide what they are going to be. But I can now. With the faces I can choose. I can become someone else. Speak in their voice, live in their skin. I can even become you. I wonder what it would feel like to wear those pretty dresses. To be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face." (Threat)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Sandor Clegane: "Am I going to die in this shit city?"
Tyrion Lanniser: "You might."
Sandor: "And this is all your idea. Seems every bad idea has some Lannister cunt behind it."
Tyrion: "And some Clegane cunt to help them see it through."
(Witty Insult)
to Jon Snow: "I'm pleased you bent the knee to our Queen. I would have advised it, had you asked. But have you ever considered learning how to lie every now and then? Just a bit?!?" (Witty Insult)
Jon: "Talk about my father if you want, tell me that's the attitude that got him killed. But when enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies. And lies won't help us in this fight."
Tyrion: "That is indeed a problem. The more immediate problem is that we're fucked."
(Funny Line)
Jon Snow: "I did this. I should go."
Tyrion: "She'll definitely murder you."
(Funny Line)
Cersei: "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. She's your kind of woman: a foreign whore who doesn't know her place."
Tyrion: "A foreign whore you can't abduct, beat, or intimidate. That must be difficult for you."
(Witty Insult)
Sansa Stark: "You stand accused of murder. You stand accused of treason. How do you answer these charges... Lord Baelish?"
Petyr Baelish: "...?"
Arya: "My sister asked you a question."
(Threat)
Sam: "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
Bran Stark: "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
Sam: "Ohhh! ...I don't know what that means."
(Funny Line)
Glasses of Wine Consumed
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Arya shares in some blackberry wine offered by the camp of Lannister soldiers. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Samwell takes a hearty swig of the rum he gives to Jorah, before attempting the Greyscale surgery. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Arya goes for the ale after Hot Pie probes further into what she's been up to. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion drinks while discussing the burning of the Tarlys with Varys. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Tyrion drinks from the refill after Varys finishes off the cup of wine he was originally drinking. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 6: Beyond the Wall
Tyrion drinks while talking with Daenerys in Dragonstone. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
Tyrion pours himself a glass from Cersei's own wine stash after he survives his feigned plea that Cersei should have Gregor Clegane execute him. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
After serving a refill of wine to Cersei, Tyrion pours another for himself and drinks. (Glass of Wine Consumed)
Acts of Intercourse
Episode 2: Stormborn
28:00 (+10) Grey Worm :
Grey Worm gets with Missandei on the very last night before he sails off for Casterly Rock. (Act of Intercourse)
Special
Episode 1: Dragonstone
Arya peels off the mask of Walder Frey to reveal herself after assassinating the host of Freys in the dining hall at the Twins. (Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Samwell Tarly: "I asked you if, in light of what I've seen in the North, if I could have access to the restricted area of the library."
Ebrose: "That area is reserved for Maesters. Are you a Maester?"
Samwell: "No."
Ebrose: "Not a very strong proposition, is it?"
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Sam does some late night studying with his pirated JSTOR copies of the restricted Maester books. (Special)
Sam begins writing a raven letter to Jon to inform him of the cache of dragonglass buried beneath Dragonstone. (Special)
Episode 2: Stormborn
Ebrose: "Does this look like a baby to you?"
Samwell Tarly: "No."
Ebrose: "Have you studied the varying rates of Greyscale progression in infants and fully grown men?"
Samwell: "No."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Samwell mentions that he has potentially found a treatment option for Jorah Mormont's greyscale in a book. "I found the procedure in a study of rare diseases by Archmaester Pylos". (Special)
Samwell opens up Archmaester Pylos' tome on Rare Diseases, which contains the instructions for the Greyscale treatment he is to perform on Jorah. (Special)
"Father got careless, that's what mama says." (Special)
Episode 3: The Queen's Justice
Tyrion Lannister greets Ser Davos on his arrival to Dragonstone: "Ah, the Onion Knight" (Special)
Archmaester Ebrose: "You treated him?"
Samwell Tarly: "Yes."
Ebrose: "Who told you to treat him?"
Sam: "No one."
Ebrose: "Who forbade you, or anyone, to attempt to treat him?"
Sam: "I seem to remember you."
Ebrose: "But you treated him anyway?"
Sam: "I did, yes."
(Special)
submitted by nyan (approved!)
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Sam reads from a book as he transcribes it onto a fresh set of paper, before handing it over to Baby Sam. (Special)
submitted by hkeseyan (approved!)
46:52 (+3) Gilly:
Gilly recites some Maester trivia she has just learned: "Do you know how many steps there are in the Citadel? 15,782." (Special)
The Feels
Episode 5: Eastwatch
Tyrion and Jorah share a brief reunion before Jorah sails off to the Wall on Jon's expedition to kidnap a wight..

Tyrion: "This is the coin the slaver gave me when I suggested he free us and pay us, remember?"
Jorah: "It was supposed to last us the rest of our lives."
Tyrion: "Take it with you. But bring it back. Our Queen needs you."
(Warm Fuzzy Moment)
Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf
After an intense conversation spilling out all of Tyrion's wrongs to their family, Cersei decides not to execute her brother after all this time. Relieved, Tyrion downs a glass of wine, and pours another for Cersei, reuniting them with the only familial bond more powerful than her incestual love for Jaime - alcoholism. (Warm Fuzzy Moment)